Category Archives: Archive

GUG – Episode 8? – Injections and Objections

The show starts off with an argument. John’s getting ready to go out with his friends to ‘celebrate’ his birthday. Carmine’s pissed ‘cuz John John’s punished. Aww. Victoria steps in and allows John to go out tonight, but he’s punished tomorrow. Carmine’s still pissed. Too bad, Carmine. Nananabooboo. (Sorry, I am a sibling too!)

Victoria has a love affair with —cupcakes. I am a cookie ho from back in the day so I can relate. She says chocolate fills the void that she feels without a man in her life. Again, I can relate. I was a single mom for a brief period in my 20s so I can understand. My hips still show the after-effects.

She admits that the dating thing hasn’t worked out so well. However, she hasn’t given up on the idea. Victoria talks to a new prospect on the phone. He was set up by Denise, the ‘celebrity’ matchmaker. He sounds nice and Victoria’s excited about their date on Friday nite.

The editors then cut to a shot of Frankie talking ’bout how he hates the idea of his mom dating and knows that his dad wouldn’t like it. Well, Frankie, I love ya and understand, but daddy cheated on mommy and he’s in jail right now, so daddy ain’t got no right to say a thing.

Victoria sends the boys off to Splish-Splash Water Park. Quack Quack is their chaperone. Victoria, I really agree with a lot of your decisions, but you need to find the boys a better chaperone than Quack Quack. Really.

Victoria knows it’s a mistake. She says, “Everything we plan is like a fiasco.” That is certainly not an exaggeration, it would seem, especially to us faithful watchers of Growing Up Gotti, right?

While the boys are away, Victoria says she has to work, which is true, in a sense. She also is having some WORK done. She’s got an appointment for some botox injections. I felt sad for Victoria who is a pretty lady with a lot of intelligence and a lot going for her. She said, she needed the Botox because it’s “a little shot of self-confidence.”

I really got a kick when en route to the doctor’s office, Tula said, “Do you think they can Botox my ass?” She’s a hoot.

Victoria is in a little bit of pain and well, she says, “this date better be worth it.” Then, she goes home and treats herself to some more cupcakes.

After eating a bunch of cupcakes, Victoria weighs herself. She’s shocked by the number so she takes off her jewelry to see if the results are better suited to her tastes without the bling-bling. Sorry, but NOPE! I’ve tried that too. It never works.

Meanwhile, Quack Quack ended up riding to the waterpark without the boys. They went on ahead. He spent a while trying to find them. Of course, the boys rough house with their ‘chaperone’. I always wonder who’s really watching who here. Remember, Miami?

Anyway, Quack gets called out by the lifeguards, who he chooses to ignore. He takes off and jumps in a restricted area. He gets himself booted out of the park. Nice, huh!

So, back to Victoria. She’s gained 8 lbs. She decides to go to a health club. She meets with a nutritionist and says she doesn’t want to give up her cupcakes. One day, she ate 11. She admits to binge-eating because she’s lonely. Her food intake for one day alone is astounding. It’s based on junk food and high carbs. I’m so jealous. (Yup! I’m low-carbing it here, folks!)

She then has a session with hunky fitness trainer, Craig. Sign me up for that gym!

Victoria decides to ‘sneak out’ because she doesn’t want the boys to know she’s going out on a date. She feels like a teen again. She mentions that she doesn’t want to bring every guy home to meet the boys. That’s pretty common. I remember when I was ‘auditioning’ husband #2. {smiles, but I am being serious, at least in part!}

The boys, of course, suspect. Carmine waits on the second level to see the limo pull up. Angel, Victoria’s sis, comes to watch them for the evening. Paul is the date du jour. He seems nice. At dinner, however, he proves to be a bit of a bore. He talks about how close he is to his parents and goes into a diatribe about his mother’s health problems. I know nothing turns a woman on like hearing a man talk about his sick mother. Don’t you?

Then, when he suggests that they ‘go bowling’ when they’re dressed to the nines, Victoria excuses herself. I think he was teasing, but you can never be too sure.

She calls her sis and begs for her to come up with an excuse to get her out of the date. When she returns to the table, Paul talks about Victoria’s honesty and how he admires her for it. She’s ‘forthright’. Well, then the phone rings. It’s Angel (Surprise Surprise!). She’s been ‘rushed to the emergency room.’

Victoria almost laughs during the call. I don’t know if Paul bought the excuse, but they bid farewell. Victoria returned home a little down-trodden and ready for more cupcakes. She admits that she’s more upset about the loss of a shared future than the loss of her actual marriage. Losing the dreams is often harder than losing the man. I know that from experience.

——–Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. Email me at if you have a comment or suggestion about this or any other of my reviews. I will be happy to take them ‘under advisement’.

Basketball, Bribes and Bimbos – The Benefactor, Episode 4

October 4, 2004. By Jade

This week opens with Mark Cuban giving the final 6 the task of building a basketball team to compete the following night in a game of Horse. The teams must consist of one man, one woman and one child, 12 years of age or under. No pros allowed.

Mark wanted to see how the contestants would use their skills to build a team as he had to do with the Mavericks.

Mark divided the contestants into two teams, team Silver with Femia, Dominic and Tiffaney. Team Blue with Linda, Kevin and Spencer. He felt that these people had worked together before and would be comfortable together.

Team Silver seemed to work well together. Team Blue had a little power struggle between Linda and Kevin. Linda admits being used to taking charge and Kevin commenting that Linda must be confused with the other challenge where she was the team leader.

The teams had a very different approach to building their teams, Team Silver aka Team Beautiful, were systematically calling rec centers to find the best players. They watched some people play and found all three players quickly. Bernard (the man), Amy (the ex-college player) and Junior (12 yrs old) were their players.

Team Blue walked the streets to find their local players but found nothing but doggie doo. Long after Team Silver had found their ringers, Team Blue finally went into a posh looking gym and asked for the best players the staff knew. They found their man from a sports store. At least they asked him to dribble a little (the ball!) and lob a ball in Linda’s general direction. Spencer spotted a boy in the posh gym, the only child there, and thought he did well, so Lucas was in. The woman they got on a lead assured Spencer over the phone that she was good, so she was in too. I bet Mark was glad these three weren’t in charge of picking for the Mavs.

On game night, Mark makes the teams go through the same type of intros given to pros, with spotlight and announcer to escalate the tension among the players and teams. Mark expressed his surprise that the Blue Team hadn’t seen most of their team shoot a ball. Instead of HORSE, the game was called LOSER. Mark makes a shot, and then each team picks a player to shoot in the same fashion. When a team misses the shot and the other team makes it, the losing team gets a letter.

At first it looked as though Team Silver was going to walk away with it when Team Blue had LOSE. Mark comments on how Team Silver is on top of the world, confident and shouting crap at Team Blue who looks dejected. Mark says there’s no room for quitting when you want to be successful.

Team Blue makes a great comeback and ties it up. Mark makes the teams shoot from all over the court, including some from under the basket with his eyes closed and backwards without looking at the basket. It all comes down to the children in the end. Lucas, age 10, from Team Blue and Junior, age 12, from Team Silver. Mark has them shooting from the top of the key. Junior is up first, with much heckling from Team Blue, he misses. Lucas is up next, he also misses. Junior tries again and makes the shot, Team Blue still heckling the poor guy. Lucas shoots, it circles the basket a couple of times and bounces out. LOSER for Team Blue, one of them is going home. Lucas apologizes to the team for ruining their dreams, tearing. Mark gives him a hug and tells him all the girls will remember how cute he is instead of the basket he missed, causing a smile.

Linda’s confessional shows her telling us how she is a good loser, then we see the game where she wants to kick all of Team Silver’s asses because they beat her.

Next Mark offers the losing team a bribe to leave the game. He starts at ten thousand dollars, which they all turn down. He ups it by ten thousand each time. Linda says she didn’t come to win thousands, she came to win a million. Kevin seems to hesitate each time, thinking of how much money it is. Spencer seems to think that if it gets to a couple hundred thousand he might consider taking it.

Finally, at thirty thousand dollars, Kevin takes the money, proving to Mark that he doesn’t have the confidence needed to win. Mark has Kevin open the envelope, revealing that Spencer would have been the one eliminated had no one taken the money. Kevin’s parting remarks included that Oprah would be proud of him and that he is a thousandaire! 😆

Mark stated that he felt Spencer would have left because he took short cuts, referring to accepting a player without seeing her play.
As the final five are celebrating with a meal, Mark reveals that the next day there would be another task for two teams of two. The five contestants would be the ones to decide who was to be the odd man out.

Spencer and Linda quickly separate themselves and decide to make the ‘three bimbos’ decide amongst themselves who would be left out. Linda breaks the news to the others who try to figure out how to decide. After many suggestions, they decide to play Jenga. Dominic lost.

The preview for next week shows Mark assigning the gang to do random acts of kindness. The follow up causes many arguments and Mark wanted to see what kinds of criticism there would be and how the contestants would respond to the criticism. Mark also alludes to the fact that Dominic may not be leaving just because he was odd man out. I wonder if he’ll be choosing which team were the kindest? That would take the smile off Linda’s face pretty quickly, she seemed pretty happy that Dom might be leaving.

God Wants Me To Dress Better – Starting Over, 10/4/01


The show opens with Sommer telling Kim and Jen she wants to tell Josie she has been unreasonable, but she is afraid of Josie. The others agree that Josie is explosive and Jen says it happens every day. Sommer wants to know when she will earn the right to say something to Josie about it. The others assure her she already has the right, but Sommer remains unconvinced.

Josie meets with Rhonda, who is waiting for her with a throne, robe, crown and sceptre. She crowns Josie The Queen of Punishment and they talk about ways Josie punishes the people in her life and punishes herself in relation to each person. This is very upsetting to Josie who is weeping and squeaking as she describes that her last encounter with her grandfather was when she came home and found him standing in the doorway giving her “The look.” The last words he heard from her were “What!? What!?” before she stomped off to bed. Rhonda narrates that we often take too much responsibility for relationships in childhood, then spend our adult life mad at ourselves for things we did as kids.

Jen is narrating that she is emotionally drained by Josie and will not approach her til she apologizes.

Kim is getting ready to wash her two pairs of ugly sweats. She offers to do Sinae’s and Jen’s laundry, saing it makes her feel good and she enjoys folding clothes.

Josie is still enumerating all her ways of punishing. Rhonda even gets her to say she punishes Chloe by keeping everyone else out of her life, thus keeping Chloe from being truly happy because Josie is not.

There’s a cute scene of Towanda snuggling with Chloe in bed.

Rhonda narrates that Josie is so stunted in her growth that she won’t move forward til she gives up her throne as Queen of Punishment. Josie says she is the one keeping Chloe’s father away because she is afraid Chloe might find out he is better than Josie.

Kim is asking Towanda and Sommer if they think she should get her clothes back, and if the Universe wants her to have them back. She plans to call Iyanla to tell her she believes she has earned the right to have her clothes back.

Meanwhile Iyanla meets Jennifer outdoors. They are going to “whack away some anger” by chopping wood. Jen, still in her paper necklace, notes that they are wearing open-toed shoes but Iyanla glosses it over. She demonstrates to Jen that she has had anger too, and chopping is a good way to release it. She tells Jen to imagine she is chopping through the string of her necklace. Jen takes a whack for each thing she is angry about: being judgmental; not letting herself love other people; her mother for giving up; people who betrayed her; lied to her; choosing other things over her; not being there. She’s mad at God for making her mother sick and for giving her this life. (And no baby talk!)

Rhonda is having Josie imagine life in 10 years when Chloe is 10 and she’s 32. Josie realizes that if it continues this way, all her expectations for Chloe will be in the toilet because Josie keeps her isolated. Rhonda gets her to see that this is similar to Josie’s relationship with her grandmother, where nobody else gives you love for your whole life. Josie cries that she doesn’t know any better.

Cut to Kim telling Sommer and Sinae that her ugly sweat clothes got ripped in the dryer and this means “the Universe” wants her to have her own clothes back.

Back to Rhonda giving Josie a piece of poster paper. Her assignment will be to draw a picture of her Kingdom of Punishment. She must also interview the housemates – Josie stops Rhonda and tells her there are some she isn’t speaking to. “THAT’S a good punishment.” Rhonda tells her. Josie says that “they were saying I’m not thankful”. Then she qualifies that Jen was the only one who said it. Rhonda asks “isn’t it true?” and Josie admits it is. Rhonda says she can interview them last if she wants, but she must ask each housemate how she punishes them and how she punishes herself. If she wants, she may call other people on the telephone and ask them how she punishes herself, and, if she is brave, ask how she punishes them. Josie calls it “confrontation” and Rhonda stresses it is an interview, not confrontation. Rhonda and Josie will meet again in the evening and decide if she wants to keep her crown as Queen of Punishment.

Jen has finished chopping wood (she didn’t get to actually split a piece in half like firewood, which would feel extremely satisfying and is cool to watch – but she seemed satisfied to just hack away on the end of a big log) Iyanla has her lying on the ground on her back, eyes closed. Jen says she gave up anger, but it was replaced by fear, and at least it’s better to be scared than violent. Iyanla tells her she’s just overcorrecting. They rip up the “have to be strong” and “fear” tags from the necklace. Iyanla tells her you can be not strong, yet still get things done. Jen narrates she is angry about things that have happened to her, but more fearful that it will happen again.

Josie shows up in the living area in her Queen of Punishment costume. The housemates think it’s hilarious and she wants them to take it more seriously. She tells them she has to confront each of them and also that she is required to call people and confront them too. Jennifer tells her that Josie punishes her by nitpicking and finding something to be mad about whenever their friendship starts to get close, and punishes herself by not allowing anyone to get close. Then the baby talk comes back. “We’re going to be friends whether you like it or not. We’re partners in crime. So knock it off.”

The group meets with Dr. Stan. “I see chipperness”, he observes. He wants to talk about house dynamics and everyone’s role in the “family”. Kim is the surrogate mother. Josie says she doesn’t always like it because she’s supposed to be a mom too. Towanda says she’s “just here” and Josie tells her she has the dad role. Sinae sees herself as the entertainer and Kim says she’s like the youngest child, and Jen is the more serious older child. Sommer says how she feels depends on the day and who she’s with. Dr. Stan asks her if she feels like the stepchild and she says “the red-headed stepchild”. Sommer says that in her real life, she is always the leader. She’s crying again which is very hard for her – she has a habit of picking up each tear on a finger and inspecting it like it’s a foreign body. Now the women jump on her and tell her she’s pretending she agrees with each person in disputes, which makes her look two-faced. Then we see flashbacks of Sommer trying to stay neutral while the women vent on her about each other. The women say she is not sharing her real self because she is too worried about making everyone like her. (Oh, suddenly you WANT to get to know Hester Prynne?) Sommer gets a little melodramatic about it, and is not convinced these women really want her to be honest.

Sinae is watching Josie draw her “Queendom”. There are dragons and demons to represent certain people in her life, and there are good things outside trying to get through the barriers.

Sommer is sitting with Kim and Towanda, who tell her that when she listens and nods while someone vents on her about someone else, that’s the same as taking their side. Sommer says she feels she can’t win and the others say they understand.

On the phone with her father, Josie wants to know how she punishes herself. Her dad says she does it when she refuses to let go of mistakes she’s made. He tells her she doesn’t really punish him. He also tells her he loves her and thinks about her a lot and also loves Chloe. He asks for pictures of Chloe, and when she hangs up she believes he has only talked about Chloe and not Josie. (Geez, don’t tell him, it’s much better to make him guess!)

Rhonda comes back for her evening meeting with Josie and stops in on Sinae first. She tells Sinae she will be able to choose one housemate whom she will take to breakfast the next morning, and her guest is not allowed to help her.

Josie shows Rhonda the poster of her Kingdom. She shows a zone around herself where she keeps all the bad words around her to punish herself. She tells Rhonda about the phone call with her dad and says he’s in denial and that she knows she punishes him. Rhonda gets her to admit she used to say good things about herself for the first 18 years of her life and it’s only been the past 4 years that she’s gone negative. Rhonda starts really hollering now and demanding whose opinion matters more – Jonathan’s, or Grandma’s and Rhonda’s? (She’s yelling but she only repeats it once.) Josie says the bad feelings always creep in and Rhonda shouts “that’s because you’ve never said “NO!” Josie tells Rhonda that everybody used to adore her and Rhonda tells her they still do, she just doesn’t let them. Josie is officially dethroned as Queen of Punishment and now becomaes The Princess of Growth.

We see Kim on the deck praying. She narrates that a white dove has flown onto the railing. (It’s a pigeon, and it’s on the roof) She says she believes this means God is listening to her and she’s getting all her clothes back. Sommer narrates that Kim thinks it’s a sign from God and Sommer thinks it’s a sign FOR the psychiatrist. Kim calls Iyanla to tell her the good news. We see Iyanla laughing “Do you believe this?? Kim is so used to getting her own way that her INTENTION actually influenced the dryer!” Iyanla compromises and lets Kim wear her own sweat suit but no other clothes, and no jewelry.

Second Night

(Sunday 3rd October, 9pm – Midnight GMT)

At the top of the show everyone meets our Cheggars at the front of the castle for the second nights worth of paranormal activity. It’s windy and either everyone is smiling or grimacing at the idea that their fragile careers maybe over already (death by humiliation)
Cheggars picks out Faith, Richard, Ricardo and Tamara to explore more tunnels, this time these are the old Medieval tunnels that are found at the east of the castle. After sending them off Cheggars leads the remaining four, Roy, Colin, Jo and Nancy, into the castle itself.
Once inside he leads them too a small stone room called (excuse any spelling here) a Sacristy, which in layman’s terms is a monks locker room. There task is to use metal dowsing rod to detect paranormal “hot spots” in the room itself. While Roy stands there, with a look on his face that looks as if to say “Why am I doing this?”, Cheggars gets over excited at how his rods seem to be moving without any help. If he gets anymore excited they will need to fit him with his own adult diaper.
Meanwhile, the two women are holding heir rods over their heads and twiddling them as if the were members of the Guildford Majorette Olympic team.
Our genial host points out too them, that they have in the room, four objects that are to be used as trigger object (items that are to be placed on hot spots and left over night to see if they are moved by spirits).
Cheggars by now has left the room and is viewing them on a screen on in another room. He has to have words with our Nancy.
“Nancy, a few people have pointed out that you are making your rods by yourself” He say.
“No, they’re doing this by themselves.” she says as clearly starts moving them by herself by twirling her wrist
“Well a few people have mentioned, maybe if you stop moving your arms…?”
“I’m not doing anything, this is all natural.” She says as she starts flapping her arms like a bird.
By this time I’m rolling about on the floor laughing my proverbials off at the plain silliness of this woman. What makes it worse is that she wasn’t joking either.

Down in the tunnels the other four are joined by medium Ian Lawman. He leads them down towards a particular section of tunnel and the drama starts. Ricardo starts bawling his eyes out like a baby needing a feed. He is getting a dizzy and sick feeling and need to be calmed down by Lawman. They eventually reach the end of the tunnel, after having to goad Ricardo into going further.

After a break our dowsers join the other four in the tunnel. This is where Lawman tries to communicate with the dead. He is picking out the presence of soldiers from the Napoleonic period. Nancy claims to have a headache and the ability to see a soldier. And just as Jo is explaining how she is feeling Faith does something very odd. She leaps a foot in the air and lands on the floor.
She is clearly genuinely feigned fright, poor thing. Roy at this point is now looking so disassociated with the thing I’m sure he’s looking for an exit so he can go down the pub.
What makes it even better is that Ricardo has started the water works again. The whole thing is looking like a theatrical farce. Now I need an adult diaper to prevent a nasty accident with all my laughter.

After another break the team are now with Cheggars in his remote location, all except Faith who is busy seeing the shows counsellor.
Tamara, Jo and Nancy are sent off to search for the ghost commonly known as the Red Lady. This search ends up in a bedroom where Jo had been sitting watching a dressing table with mirror and objects. Unfortunately nothing moved.

Later, everyone is back with our host (except Ricardo this time). We are soon joined by former contestant Daniella Westbrook (she of nose falling off fame and former soap star). Roy is sitting at the back wishing he had escaped too the pub when he had the chance.
Daniella is here to tell them about the Watch Room, a room that overlooks the Great Hall and has been sealed off for years. It’s up to one of the men to go and sit in there alone. Out or pure desperation, and need for a bottle of scotch, Roy volunteers. He is lead away and is shut alone in the darkened room. He makes a desperate plea for the spirits to show him a sign (no pun intended) as he is the last sceptic left and feels the need to believe. Nothing. He is soon replaced by Richard Blackwood and Cheggars, from his remote screen, swears he can see a ghost behind him. Bless those shadows in darkened creepy rooms

It’s the final section of the show and it’s time for Ian Lawman to conduct another séance, this time in the Great hall. For effect, the hall is awash with red artificial light. During the séance Lawman makes contact with Roy’s late uncle and Nancy’s late father in-law. Personally I found this tacky, fraudulent and totally out of connection with the location they are in.
Out of all the mediums they could pick for the show, why did they pick the most useless and least entertaining?

Bridgette's Just Loose! – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 5

by LauraBelle

While the beaches of Florida have been hit by Hurricanes Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne, the beaches of California were recently attacked by the six Surreal Life celebrities. Luckily for California, they will recover first; it’s unsure, though, whether Flavor Flav and Bridgette Nielsen’s relationship will ever be repaired.

Jordan Knight is waking up to the honking he hears through the windows of the Winnebago, and he is somewhat upset about being left in these accommodations. You would think the guy that stacks boxes in doorways to keep people at bay would have appreciated the privacy. Now that he is awake, he figures, “If I’m not sleeping, they’re not sleeping,” and he enters the hotel pushing a maids cart. He walks down the hallway shouting, “Housekeeping,” in a shrill falsetto. As he gets Bridgette to finally open the door, he finds her in a tight white t-shirt and a g-string. She complains, being that she didn’t go to bed until six a.m. Once all six celebrities are sitting for breakfast, the Surreal Times arrives, and informs them that on the drive home, they will make a pit stop at a beach so that the lifeguards can sit, drink and “rub lotion on Bridgette.” This news thrills no one, but Bridgette.

Once all are in the Winnebago, an argument ensues over who will drive. Flavor Flav is still looking for his shot at the driver’s seat in the huge RV, but everyone is reluctant to allow this, especially Bridgette, knowing he has over sixty-seven driving suspensions, and Dave Coulier, knowing Flavor Flav learned to drive while stealing cars.

Flavor Flav is quite upset and insists, “I ain’t no child; I’ve been driving for nine years.” Jordan initially tells him that he and everyone else choose Dave to drive, as they’re not even sure if Flavor Flav has a license to drive. Later, Jordan admits to being worried, thinking that while driving, Flavor Flav would have been honking the horn, and trying to make friends with the people in the car next to him. Call me crazy, but I would have been more worried about him crashing and injuring himself or others.

Bridgette lovingly approaches and asks for Flavor Flav’s passport and license. Still reeling from knowing she spent her evening with Enrique, one of Charo’s backup dancers, Flavor Flav pushes her away. She knows he is hurt, and admits their relationship has changed since her time spent with Enrique.

Dave reiterates again, for the hard-of-thinking, “If you don’t have a license, you can’t drive.” Trying to illustrate she knows right from wrong, Bridgette explains, she already had two beers that morning, and won’t get behind the wheel as she’ll either get a ticket or cause an accident, and risk injuring someone. This is the most sane thing she has said since arriving in the house. Flavor Flav finally relents, but adds, “The whole crew is against” him, and that he knows this will be a “F’ed” up day.

Arriving at the beach, the six celebrities are met by the famous surfing Willis Brothers, who will be teaching them to surf. At this point I would have to say I would rather dress like a bag lady before I donned an outfit bearing my own name. But not the narcissistic Willis Brothers, as they are wearing matching scuba suits that have, “Willis Brothers” emblazoned across the chest.

I am reminded of Florida once again, but not of the hurricanes, of the “Shamu Experience” at Sea World. Going to that show once, I heard the whale’s trainer speaking in a voiceover behind video footage of himself and the whale saying, “The first time I met Shamu, our eyes met, and I knew I had a friend for life.” The Willis Brothers are speaking similarly with quotes such as, “All of you are legends … with a more complete circle you can see the future.” Even Dave, using his best Bill Murray in Caddyshack voice mocks them, saying, “Surfing is like the Dali Lama.” Bridgette plays along and says she is looking for “love waves”, as they’re the best waves you can get.

Ryan Starr thinks this is the best, saying, “How cool is that? I met a cute boy, and he taught me to surf!” However, Charo refuses to try it, The Willis Brothers even offer to stand her up on the board, and hold onto her, but she has her wrist wrapped up, and citing the onset of carpel tunnel syndrome, she’s afraid of what that would do to her career.

Flavor Flav is still having a bad day. He is still smarting over Bridgette’s relationship with Enrique, and watching her flirt with the Willis Brothers, he says, “She’s just loose.” Really, Flav? What makes you think that? He is hesitant to try surfing, but the Willis Brothers tell him if he makes “surf and rap come together in a harmonious conversion, it will make the world a better place.” I would’ve tried it as well at this point, but it would have been just to see what they are smoking out there, to keep making comments such as these.

Flavor Flav tells himself just to “curb the attitude, and get in the water.” He has a problem staying upright, and wipes out a few times, but eventually is able to stand up, hang on, and ride a wave for awhile,. When he is done, Jordan remarks that he stepped back onto the beach like Jesus. The Willis Brothers inspirational speeches are beginning to catch on here! As Bridgette tries to grab Flav’s hand and congratulate him, he pulls away, still smarting over his bad day. She remarks that everywhere they go, she gets a new boyfriend.

At the end of thd day, the Willis Brothers award everyone certificates and leis, or “lee-hays” as Flavor Flav calls them. He gets the prize as “Surfer of the Day”, and is awarded a special Surreal Life surf board, painted with all their faces.

Flav announces he wants to go roast some marshmallows, and all six celebrities are soon sitting around a warm fire. The conversation turns to love as Ryan is talking about her first love. Bridgette takes the opportunity to ask Flav if he loves her. He tells her yes, but the way he loves her is the way he loves everybody there in the Surreal Life house. She comes back with you can’t compare me to everybody, and he finally says, “I’m not IN love with you.” She says she’s now sitting there feeling like a loser, when just a few hours ago, she was gleefully explaining she finds a new boyfriend everywhere they go. He starts talking about everyone being against him, and she tells him he is making a big deal out of nothing. She later says he needs to open up his heart, and not his gold teeth.

It has never been clear where exactly Flavor Flav and Bridgette’s relationship was coming from. In some ways they seem like such different people, yet in a basic way, they are both looking for the same thing, to be loved. Flav is happy being loved just by Bridgette, but the past two shows have shown that she isn’t happy unless everyone loves her. This relationship was doomed to fail from the get-go, and it will be interesting to see what they do with it in the next few weeks.

I welcome questions and comments at,

First Night

(Saturday, 2nd October, 9pm –Midnight GMT)

Tonight’s show opened with a quick guide too Dover Castle and it’s haunted reputation. This proved to be even more cheesier than a Swiss made pizza. It had the clichés going for it, grainy black and white film footage, creepy music and a narrators voice that sounded more accustomed to voicing trailers on old VHS videos.

Now cut too our host for the night, Mr. Keith Chegwin (from here on in known under his old nickname Cheggars). He’s standing not too far from Dover Castle and above an open old spiral stair well. He introduces our first four celeb contestants separately and sends them down the stair well one by one into what used to be old WWII tunnels, the idea being that they meet up in an wartime barrack and make each other jump in the dark. The first four to enter are Colin Jackson, Jo Guest, Richard Blackwood and Faith Brown. (To be honest, I was hoping that Faith Brown would trip down the stair well after an impersonation of Cilla Black)
After the break the next four are introduced, Roy Walker, Nancy Sorrell, Tamara Beckwith and Ricardo Reibero. These four are sent down the stairwell and into an old WWII Triage room.

After the celebs start settling in our Cheggars tells us that the celebs don’t know yet that they will be spending the night together in the tunnels. The twist is that we get to vote on which one gets to sleep away from the main party. On hearing this I’m shouting “Ricardo, Ricardo” at the screen. I know it would be fun to hear this man scream like a girl all through night every time he heard a noise.

Ian Lawman, the shows in house medium, joins the first group in the barrack room. He straight away picks up on several spirits and a few minutes later Faith Brown jumps and gives off a little scream when she feels one of the bunks move unguided.

A little while later Lawman is now with group two in a darkened triage room. Here too he picks up on spirits. But those aren’t the only spirits that are picked up on. There is a strong smell of medicinal alcohol. A question pops into your hapless writers head immediately, can you get spirits of spirits, or has Cheggars been hitting the sauce again?
After a short break we find Nancy Sorrell being interviewed by Cheggars, during the break she had been overcome by emotions in the triage room and needed to come out. It doesn’t take too long before Cheggars kicks her back in again. I’m now shouting “Nancy, Nancy” at the screen for her to sleep alone. Yes, this show is bringing the sadistic side out in me.

A so called solo challenge is set up, so called because a member from each group doesn’t know the other will be doing it as well. The two who are to do this are Nancy Sorrell and Faith Brown. Each are placed at opposing ends of a short, darkened section of tunnel. They have to find the key too their dorm for the night, bare in mind that they haven’t been told yet they are sleeping in the tunnels.
After a few outbursts of screams on discovering each other, they are guided too where the key is by Cheggars.

Everyone else, in the mean time, have been brought together and sent too another darkened tunnel with Ian Lawman. It’ here that Cheggars tells the viewing public of the technical difficulties that the film crew have been having. Coincidentally enough we lose sound too the tunnel where the main group are, which means we have no idea of what’s being said down there. Cheggars has to fill the void with hapless waffle.
It’s here we get a chance to meet up with the UK’s Big Brother 2 winner, Brian Dowling. He will being presenting I’m Famous And Frightened Extra during the daytimes. I just couldn’t but wonder what he had been doing with his hair. I’m sure he’d been standing in a wind tunnel for about half an hour.

We now move on too the final section of tonight’s show. The entire group, with medium Ian Lawman are now in another tunnel, they are sitting around a table and are about to do a séance. Lawman goes into a trance and soon picks up on a spirit by the name of Sergeant Jones, a 27 year old engineer from WWII. He describes bombs and bodies. It’s this point he something that will make the firmest spiritual believer become a sceptic, he mentions that he is also there because of a nuclear threat. And then when asked what his name is again he changes it too a Sergeant Harvey from the exact same period. Now, I’m sorry, but Nuclear warheads weren’t quite in use during 1942 and there certainly weren’t any pointing towards Dover Castle at the time. And what was the deal with the sudden name change?

Anyway, after another short break Cheggars is there with our celebs. He finally reveals too them that they are all sleeping together in a the tunnels together, all except one. He also reveals who the public have voted to do so. With a staggering majority of 54% of the vote it’s Ricardo. An entire nation must have heard me shout.

If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy – Starting Over, 10/1/04

Friday 10/1/04

We are back in the loft where everyone is discussing their Day of Shame. Sommer says she felt supported by the others because they wore scarlet letters too. (um, they were forced to do it…) Rhonda observes that it is amazing the shameful things we will do to get a scrap of love. She wants to know what made the others do their shameful things. Towanda wanted success. Sinae needed attention. Rhonda tells them they HAD to to what they did because they didn’t know any other way to get what they were seeking. Based on that, the women feel a lot more able to forgive themselves. Rhonda tells them that if you can forgive yourself even one percent, karma dissolves and grace begins to happen. Towanda peels off Sommer’s letter and the rest all peel off each others’.

The women have a night out in Hollywood, except Kim who is babysitting. Jen gets her nose pierced and Josie gets a 4-leaf clover tattoo on her foot. Sommer narrates that they are all enjoying each others’ company but she’s afraid this newfound trust will not be there in the morning.

The next morning Kim and Jen babysit while Josie sleeps in. Jennifer feels that Josie takes them for granted and doesn’t even say thank you when they take care of Chloe for her. When Josie gets up and says she wants to take a shower, Jennifer tells her to take the baby in with her, saying “I’ve had enough birth control for today.” (I’m with Jen on this one. I never got free babysitting and I resent people who do.)

Meanwhile Kim is chafing a bit under her restrictions, She doesn’t like being told how to look or where & when to go out. She wants Iyanla to know it is a big deal that Kim trusts her enough to let her keep her clothes and makeup. Iyanla tells Kim it’s herself she is trusting, because she came to Starting Over and she’s sticking with it. When Iyanla presents you a new idea she likes to have you take in a deep breath and imagine you are taking in the idea along with it. (I think she just likes to get the patient dizzy) She presses Kim to describe specific “acting out” incidents. Kim does not get specific but says that as a teen, she ran away, tried drugs and had sex when she didn’t really want to, just to be rebellious. Her parents would react by asking “After all I have done for you, how could you do this to me?”

Rhonda introduces Sinae to two hotties (trust me Sinae, they are!) who will take her hiking for the day.

Now Iyanla has Kim close her eyes and imagine she is talking to her parents. She tells them she’s not bad and not guilty. Kim wakes up and tells Iyanla her children proved she was good, but now they’re grown. She also says there is no possible way to feel worse than she does right now. Iyanla assures her you can feel awful and not die. She tells Kim we are addicted to our story. We tell it over and over without realizing the damage it causes. Since Kim has a secret fear that someone will find out how bad she is, her assignment will be to tell 25 strangers and just get it over with.

Jennifer drives Kim out to Melrose Place for her assignment and they people-watch along the way, dissing peoples’ clothes.

Rhonda is driving Sinae and the two guys to Runyon Canyon, a park with a paved trail through the woods.

Kim is shot down right away when someone does not want to hear her story. Eventually she finds her groove, and each person who listens is asked to sign, to verify they heard it.

Rhonda narrates that she hopes Sinae will eventually accept blindness. They guys show her the ins & outs of this particular trail and ways to enjoy the hike. They talk about teen stuff. She tells them she had just gotten her first new car 3 weeks before she went blind. They tell her they have both driven blind. They commiserate about dealing with people who think they can see because they get around so well.

Meanwhile Kim is collecting signatures. A couple of them even flirt with her. She narrates that it’s embarrassing to say things to strangers that are supposed to be secret.

(Then we are interrupted so we can look at pictures of Mount Saint Helens venting. I think the network is hoping it will blow on live TV.)

Sinae and the boys are done with their hike. Now she feels that she can still attain her dream of climbing Machu Picchu.

Back at the house, Kim shows Iyanla she got 30 signatures, 5 more than she needed, and a new ring from someone who though she should have jewelry. Iyanla tells her these are strangers who signed because they support her. (Um, yeah but she told them they were signing just to show they’d heard it.)

The women are preparing dinner and Josie is on the phone with Hailey and Lynnell from season one. Lynnell is a member of this forum so maybe she will correct me and add to my description, since she was there and I was not. They ask if she can come out and party and she invites them over instead. During the meal, Chloe is fussy and Jen narrates that it’s rude of Josie to have her stay when she is disrupting the meal. So Jen takes Chloe to bed. Josie narrates that Jennifer has told her she feels Josie is ungrateful and Josie is shocked. Jen is telling Sommer how she feels and Sommer is desperately trying to stay neutral. Lynnell and Hailey arrive.

Sinae is staring into the fridge trying to make room for leftovers. She is telling Jen there are a bunch of cartons with just a few drops in the bottom but last time she threw them away, Josie got mad. Josie walks in as she is saying this.

Jennifer is venting to Jack on the phone about Josie. She wants to leave.

Josie visits with Hailey & Lynnell and Sommer near the pool while the other roommates play cards and do other things. They are so unenthusiastic about the visitors, at one point they even ask them to be quiet.

Jennifer narrates that Josie can’t take constructive criticism without overreacting and it makes her feel walked on.

Later in the kitchen, Josie is now punishing the entire household for Jen’s transgression. She declares that nobody in the house will be watching Chloe ever again. She tells Sinae that if they are going to fight, they should do it “away from my daughter” and Sinae points out that Josie is the only one fighting.

Dead Man Walking – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 3

[i]by atarus[/i]

We start off the show in the Yasur camp. Eliza is talking about the vote, saying how Dolly was totally blindsided and that Mia, Julie, and Lisa will probably be upset with her. No duh there, genius. Mia, on the other hand, says that the group of three doesn’t trust Eliza anymore, because they thought she was strong with them.

We then go to Lopevi, who are working on the shelter. Sarge notices that Rory is gone. Rory is out hiking, and hey! He finds fruit. He comes back and he and Lea get into a little spat about work ethic and what-not. Lea says that Rory doesn’t do a lot of physical work and he needs to be about the team. Rory says he’s a grown-ass man and doesn’t take orders, and that Sarge has to dictate when people take a crap. JP sees a way to capitalize on this idea, Rory is very opinionated, and maybe he can talk to Sarge and get them to put JP in the alliance of five instead of Rory.

We then cut back to Yasur, and Twila is sharpening a machete (I have flashbacks to Matthew at this point). Mia and the young’ns talk about going fruit hunting, and then Mia loudly says something about how this’ll prove to certain people that the young crowd does work. Twila tries to say something and Mia starts yelling at Twila. Twila says that she didn’t say that the young people didn’t do work, just that some did more than others. Mia says if you weren’t here we’d still have shelter, fire, and food. Twila says “well you go into the ocean five minutes after you start working” and adds “bitch” to the end of it. Mia gets hopping mad, and starts ranting and raving about Twila being a martyr or something or other. Twila ends the sequence with a statement about how Mia’s mad because she knows that she’s right, and that she shouldn’t go swimming all the time. She’s not going to sit and argue with Mia, she’s not going to take anyone’s crap, and that she isn’t here to make friends. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Go Twila! (P.S. Did you notice that the girls never went hunting for fruit?)

On a random note, I’d just like to point out at this point when the commercials started, I looked at my clock. 15 minutes had past. No twists. So much for that “more twists in the first 15 minutes than in another Survivor season” tagline.

Back to Yasur, and Eliza and Julie are talking, and she says that she’s definitely with the young group, just that she didn’t trust Dolly. She’s with them 100%. Mia and Lisa show up and there’s more Eliza confirming she’s in. Lisa says she doesn’t trust Eliza fully, but she has a back-up plan if Eliza seems iffy. They get the treemail and find out that it’s for immunity. Leann says that they just went to TC and the TC sucked, and they hope they don’t have to go two nights in a row.

They arrive at the challenge, the men wonder who’s missing, and when it’s pointed out that it’s Dolly, the men look a bit surprised and Sarge says “Wow, barbie’s gone.” Jeff Probst then drops the bombshell, both tribes will be going to TC regardless. It becomes tribe vs. tribe for reward. Then whichever tribe wins reward, competes individually for individual immunity. The reward challenge is the tribes have to get through three gates. The first they have to untie ropes, the second involves grappling hooks, keys, and locks, and the third involves rearranging poles to open up a hole. The reward is a fishing kit.

The challenge is on! And Yasur groups together and fights over the ropes, while Lopevi spreads out and works better together and faster. They get through first and then start working the hook. The women finish soon after and get started too. Bubba messes up grabbing a key, but JP is rocking on the other one. He gets the first one, and a Leann-Twila combo gets the women their first one. JP kicks butt and grabs another one, but then loses the hook, and the Leann-Twila combo gets their second key, and we’re tied up again. At this point, I’d like to point something out. A lot of people I know were complaining about how Scout sucks in challenges and how she screwed up the women throwing the grappling hook. Don’t blame Scout though. Why didn’t any of the younger women throw it instead? ….Huh? My point exactly. Anyway, so the men finish the hooks first, and then fly through the pole changing and they fly through with Sarge barking orders, and the men win the reward.

For the immunity challenge, the men have to dig through the sand to find seven ladder pieces, assemble the ladder, and climb up to win immunity. They go at it, and it’s fun times for all. Chad and JK are the leaders though, and Bubba and Rory are being kinda doofy in their searching. Chad and John K get finished first, and it’s a race between the two, JP finishes finding his pieces soon after those two get started on their assembling, but it’s too late. John K finishes first and wins immunity. However, there’s another twist. JK gets to go to Yasur and spend time with the ladies. (One man, eight women,alone on a beach with cameras…..this sounds like a film I watched once….er, I mean…anyway.) He gets to hang out with them and find out what’s going on because after the men’s TC..bum bum BUM he gets to give a woman immunity. Sah-weet.

So John K can’t get voted out as he says, and he gets to spend time with the women. He immediately gets the women to divide up into who voted for Dolly and who didn’t. Mia says that it was stupid of him to do and the women didn’t understand it. Eliza, in her group, tries to make it very clear to JK that the Dolly-voters aren’t in a five-person alliance. Mia, Julie, and Lisa are chatting and watching JK interact with the Dolly-voters, and Mia quips that Eliza probably won’t let anyone else talk. And she’s right. JK says that Eliza wouldn’t stop talking, that I’m sure she’s a sweet girl, but oh my GOD stop talking. Honestly, I’m not looking forward to Eliza at the reunion. Anyone want to bet that she talks for half of the air time? He then talks with Mia, Julie, and Lisa, and they tell him to not give it to Eliza or Twila. Eliza then comes over and…guess what? Starts talking some more. JK says that he wants to have the women on his side, and the women aren’t a happy tribe and there’s a lot of conflict. Mia says she’s expecting a tie at TC, but who knows who JK will give immunity to.

JP says that Lopevi won the reward, which is good. But he needed immunity, so it’s bad that he doesn’t have it. He likes to call himself “Dead Man Walking.” The youngest and strongest guys are outnumbered, so he tries to get Sarge to vote for Rory. Brady gives a pitch to Sarge too, and Sarge is thinking about it. He goes to Chris and says he’s uncomfortable with Rory in the alliance. Chris tells him this isn’t the time to deal with conflict. Sarge says in a confessional that he hates TC because he’s developed a fine-tuned team and then he has to tear them down.

I’d just like to note…both tribes are expecting/trying for a tie at TC. This is the first time I’ve seen since Marquesas that people were okay with a tie vote.

At TC, Chad says there’s camaraderie and that they have a lot of confidence now from winning challenges. Brady says that his impression of Sarge has changed…he’s a loud guy, but he’s a more personal person than people give him credit for. JK talks about how he divided the women and found out alliances, and the men cheer him on. JP wants the strongest possible group in terms of skill sets, how they mesh, and personality. Sarge says that he has friendships but he’s playing the game, and his vote is a casualty of war. We then are treated to votes. Chris votes for JP, saying “You’re stronger than me physically but I’m stronger than you mentally.” Brady votes for Rory. “Nothing personal, just being consistent.” I find that amusing. Brady’s pretty cool. JP votes for Royry. “Weakest guy on the tribe.” Chad votes for JP, and says something about strategy. The votes are read, and in a five to three vote, JP goes bye-bye.

JP’s Final Words: Survived seven days, he hoped to stay longer, he wasn’t outwitted outlasted or outplayed, and it was a great experience.

Then it’s the women’s TC. JK gives his immunity to Ami, saying that she was safe anyway and that the women need to find out who they want to vote out without his help. Ami’s surprised, she thought he was going to try and save someone. Then the women rehash Mia and Twila’s fight. Mia says it’s about the comments Twila made at the last TC. Twila says that Mia was offended but she isn’t sure why, and Julie pipes up and says it goes deeper than the comment, Twila hasn’t built a bridge to the younger people. Twila makes a great comment, saying why would I approach people that roll their eyes every time I come near them. Mia calls out Twila saying every time they talk she gives one-word answers, and Twila says that’s just how she talks. She is a tomboy and communicates better with men than women. Ami then says maybe Twila should try girly stuff, like French braids or getting her nails done. Twila smiles and says maybe she doesn’t have a feminine side, but she’ll try that anyway. We then go to Scout, who talks about how they need to keep a happy tribe and a healthy attitude in camp. Mia rolls her eyes, and Probst makes a comment about how she’s like a doggy in the window, and Mia comments about how Scout’s comments are directed towards her. Probst asks Eliza how she’s going to vote, and Eliza gives a very non-commital-dodging-the-question answer.

They then vote. Mia votes for Twila. “You can’t relate to women, but you’re on an all-woman tribe.” Scout votes for Mia. “Your volcano erupts more than I like. Good luck finding a husband that will put up with you.” I laughed out loud at Scout here, what a great comment. Twila votes for Mea, saying she has a big chip on her shoulder and she has a mouth and a half. Eliza votes for Twila. The votes are read, Mia rocks back and forth and rolls her eyes every time her name comes up, and in a shocking 5-3 vote, bye bye Mia. Eliza looks as shocked as Mia, Julie, and Lisa did when she pulled the same thing last round.

Mia’s Final Words: She met a lot of amazing girls, and some she doesn’t want to see again, like Twila, and she says a lot of bad stuff about Twila.

Next Episode: On Lopevi, Brady tries to fish to prove his worth. And on Yasur, Eliza is a hypocrite and fights with Lisa about the same thing she expected Lisa to just accept her doing at the last TC they went to.

My note: A lot of people that I have talked to are complaining about the younger people being voted out and that their eye candy is gone. They claim “this season is shaping up to be Thailand again.” Personally, I find this season to be great so far. Yeah, so for once the eye candy is going quickly. It’s one season in 9. Deal with it people. The older ones are better at the game this time. And frankly, I think they’re more interesting. I’ll take Scout and Twila over Mia and Motormouth any day. Anyway, my e-mail is, feel free to send me hate-mail about the fact that I’m enjoying the people in the dominant alliances this season.

Interview with Gary Gulman of Last Comic Standing

by panndyra, goddess of chaos

How long have you been doing ‘stand-up’ comedy?
Since the mid 90’s. My first gig was October 8 199?

When did you decide to become a ‘stand-up’? Was it always a dream of yours?

I decided my sophomore year of college but didn’t try it until the fall after my senior year. It was always something I dreamed of.

So, how tall are you, really?

6 ft 6 inches

How does it feel being a comic sex symbol?

It would have been better if it happened in tenth grade. I also don’t see the same guy in the mirror that the tv screen shows.

Here are some “Teen Beat” questions. Gary, what’s your favorite color?
Are you seeing anyone?
I have a girlfriend. She’s the red head they show reactions of during my sets.
Do you like long walks on the beach?
Yes but alone.
What’s your idea of a ‘great date’?
Dinner and a movie and a walk through a Barnes & Noble or Virgin Megastore.

I’m a cookie ho from back in the day. I was just wondering, what kind of cookie is your favorite and why?

I like the double stuff. I dunk two at a time essentially having quadruple stuff. MMMMMMM

Are you scared that you’ll be known forever as the ‘cookie comedian’? Why or why not?

I am not scared of that at all. My cookie to noncookie joke ratio on TV is actually quite low. Most people like it.

Boston has a great tradition of comedy from Lenny Clarke to
Denis Leary and a lot of nuts in between. Did this tradition inspire you to become a comedian yourself? If so, how?

I think I was inspired by people like Don Gavin, Lenny, and Paul D’Angelo and Tony V and Kevin Knox and Brian Kiley to do good comedy. I think the bar is very high for comics in Boston and so mediocre comics don’t work much.

Who are your comedic inspirations? (Besides Todd Glass!)

In addition to the guys from the last question:
Dane Cook
Brian Regan
[Paul] Reiser
David Brenner

Speaking of Todd Glass, what is the deal between you?

He’s like that friend you had growing up who you’d hang out with every day whether you had plans or not because you knew it would be fun.

Right now, you’re touring with Alonzo Bodden and Jay London in the “I’m Still Standing” Tour. What’s that like?

Sleepless. I travel from the LCS set to these gigs all over the country starting on Tuesdays. Then I go right to the set after a 6 am flight every Monday morning. I love it but it’s a lot of travel.

How is all this success changing your life?

In every way imaginable. I’m no funnier than I was last year at this time but I get recognized everywhere I go and people stand in line after shows to take pictures and get my autograph.

Why do you think that Last Comic Standing is so popular right now?

I think there are a lot of laughs coming off that show and I think the producers tell an interesting fun story.

Who’s funnier — Season One or Season Two and why?

Season Two has more established comics and more TV experience.

Why do you want to be the Last Comic Standing?

I hate losing.

Who is your biggest competition? Why?

Heffron, because he’s got an army of 6 year old kids in a sweatshop answering emails! Just kidding of course but he’s very funny and likeable as is Alonzo.

What’s in store for Gary Gulman after the LCS ride is over? Where do you think you’ll end up?

I’ll end up wherever I want to hopefully.

I love your website, by the way. Tell my readers, if you don’t mind, where it’s at and what they can find there?

It’s at

You can talk about me and the show or live shows on the message board, send me an email, sign up for my newsletter which will tell you when I’m coming to your area, look at my relentless calendar, and eventually buy my CD entitled “Conversations with Inanimate Objects.”

Thanks, Gary, for humoring this Boston-born gal. If you’re ever in Austin, stop by and we can have cookies and milk together.

Thank you! Good questions.

— There you have it folks. Make sure you watch Gary on Last Comic Standing 3 and visit him at a comedy club near you. Got comments? Email them to me at

The Swap – Wife Swap, Episode 2

The premier episode of ABC’s new reality show “Wife Swap” started with a bang as pampered millionairess, Jodi, was forced to change lives with underappreciated and overworked “hillbilly”, Lynn.

The show started with Jodi explaining her regular daily routine. Going to the gym, then the next gym, shopping, and having “me time” consumed most of the hours of her day, leaving only an hour every day to be with her children. In a confessional with her husband she explains that her “me time” is important in keeping her grounded as a person, and although she wishes she could spend more time with her children, the four live-in nannies that they have hired tend to do the job for her. Later, she reveals that she spends, on average, about $4,000 a week on clothes. As we say in my neighborhood, ‘dis bitch got some money!

We next meet Lynn, a New Jersey native who spends her entire day giving for others. Her day starts around six in the morning when she starts chopping wood for a few hours (it is at this point that we are introduced to her three legged dog, and you just KNOW that the fourth leg is missing because of her fancy schmancy wood-cutting machine), she then makes her way into the house where she fixes breakfast for her two daughters and husband, Brad, then makes her way to her second job of driving a schoolbus. Brad informs us that Lynn has never missed a day of work, well…let me correct that, she missed HALF a day of work, but that’s only because she accidentally chopped half her finger off, and she would’ve gone on more if she could’ve, but the stupid doctors and everybody wanted to make a big hooplah over it all and send her to the hospital (Stupid doctors — how were the kids going to get to school? Her finger would still be missing in a couple of hours after dropping the kids off — those kids are ALWAYS going to have those tardy marks on their record sheets!). The rest of her day is consumed by cleaning the house for a few hours, maing dinner for her family and then finishing the night off with “family time” (*AchooCRAPachoo*).

Well, both women swap, and as expected the switch is anything but plesant for all parties involved. Jodi has a hard time filling Lynn’s worker boots while Lynn has a hard time filling Jodi’s Gucci boots. Both new couples get into huge arguments, Jodi and Brad about Jodi’s work ethic (which later gets turned around into Brad being a lazy dumbass), and Lynn and Mr. Jodi about Mr. Jodi’s not wanting to spend enough time with his family. By the time it’s ready for both wives to go back to their regular lives they are both somewhat relieved and saddened. Jodi and Brad end up solving their problems and forming a friendship…Lynn and Mr. Jodi…well, let’s just say that’s another story.

At the dramatic meeting where both wives come face to face they admit that they’ve learned a lot about themsleves in the two weeks they were away. Jodi reveals that she doesn’t think she spends enough time with her kids (Duh!), while Lynn admits she could never live the life that Jodi has become used to. They hug, shake hands, and walk back to their former lives.