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Q and A with Syfy’s “Morlocks” Stars, David Hewlett and Robert Picardo

Syfy will air “Morlocks,” a brand new Saturday Original Movie, on September 24. The movie is an insane action, science-fiction film about a ferocious creature from the past that comes to the future to devours humans. The film stars legendary actor Robert Picardo (“The Howling,” “Star Trek: Voyager 1995), David Hewlett (“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”) Christina Cole (“Casino Royale”), and Marem Hassler (“Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life 2003).

Robert Picardo and David Hewlett recently took part in a conference call to discuss “Morlock” and their characters. Hewlett knew he was going to do the film the minute he heard that Robert was involved. Robert had other reasons for taking on this project. He jokes that there is nothing like shooting a movie in Bulgaria on an unheated soundstage in the middle of winter. His wit and sense of humor is always spot on. Hewlett believes they are “gluttons for punishment.” The two stayed warm with laughter. Picardo said laughing between takes generated a tiny bit of heat.

Picardo said he got involved because of the Syfy channel. There is a list of well-known actors among the science fiction community, and these two are definitely at the top of the science fiction ladder. He knew Hewlett was the lead in the movie, and when he received the phone call stating that he would be able to co-star with one of his “Stargate” cast mates, he was very excited. Additionally, when Picardo does a Syfy movie he says he usually casts as the ruthless business man so it was it was a nice change for him to play a “macho character.”

Hewlett plays a fiction writer and a “jumpy scientist” who has discovered a way to jump through time, but there is a catch with all his crazy inventions. His character does realize the project actually works and believes he has failed at this mission. His character nearly killed the last team that tried to attempt jumping through time. He believes he brought a bit of humor to his character and he hopes that comes through to the audience. He does not enjoy science-fiction that is too serious.

Picardo, who can play any role with such panache, plays a rather cantankerous commander, once again reminding us of how great he truly is. His character is very “old military” and is the commander of a base. He discovers that his onscreen son, who is also in the military, is dying of cancer. Picardo’s character is slowly going mad. He becomes rather irrational and decides to try and save his son’s life with the help of DNA from these super powerful creatures in the future. He creates a time paradox and opens Pandora’s Box, so to speak, by stealing genetic information from the future to save his son in the present.

Picardo delved into the character and found him similar, and yet somehow different, because his character is a hardass military man who has lost complete control of his judgment due to an emotional reason. Picardo is known for always being the stern one who is in control in his films and television projects. He also loves to go to Europe ,and he never made a movie in Bulgaria, so it was a lot of fun for him.

Hewlett added that Picardo’s presence also will intrigue viewers; he plays a wonderful mad military type. Picardo spent a lot of time in front of the green screen so it is always interesting to watch him work no matter what he is doing. Hewlett believes the Morlocks resemble “evil chickens.” It is always a good basis for a Syfy movie when there are evil chicken like creatures involved. There is also the idea of what the world is becoming and how it is slowly disintegrating into chaos and disorder.

They filmed the movie right before Christmas, so Picardo spent some time Christmas shopping with his wife. Hewlett on the other hand has worked in Bulgaria before doing several television shows. He has a love for filming in Bulgaria because it is a very unique experience. It is unlike anything you will ever experience in North America.

Picardo joked that he knows this stuff inside and out. We all have a “Star Trek” moment in life. Morlocks is actually a re-make, and the creators maintained an association with the original time machine. Picardo said it would be easier for H.G. Wells to recognize a television than recognize his own story here, because Syfy could make a re-made film seem original.

Christina Cole, who plays Hewlett’s ex-wife in the movie, is someone who stands out for both actors. She is an amazing actress Hewlett said. She is very talented, Picardo echoed. The two actors said the entire cast and crew were terrific to work with. Picardo said that each actor was very unique and strong considering the conditions they had to work in. His main recollection of everyone was they all laughed together throughout the entire process of filming. They all had to endure a lot for the movie; they had to stand in front a “blood cannon” which shoots them in the face with about 40 buckets worth of chuck meat.

Their experience in the science fiction genre has definitely helped Picardo and Hewlett with this movie. Considering Picardo was in the one of the most legendary horror films, performing one of the most legendary transformations in history in “The Howling,” he can tolerate a lot in the horror, science-fiction genres.

With any science-fiction movie there are challenges. Hewlett pointed to “staying alive” and the smoke from the Bulgarians as being challenging for him. Picardo said they were transported to the set in very old vehicles and the terrain was rough and a little scary. He did a lot of praying in the back seat of the vehicles. Hewlett agreed that it was quite a challenge just to get to and from the set. The cast and crew often fought over who sits in the back seat just so they did not have to sit up front during the rough ride.

Picardo believes the sci-fi viewers will want to watch “Morlocks” because it is very loosely based upon H.G. Wells and some of the concepts were taken from a classic novel. The Morlocks are very fearsome creatures that were created in a classic novel many years ago. The hook is that people will be interested in watching a movie about creatures that have been reduced either by a toxic society or a weird natural selection in the future so they become incredibly vicious.

Hewlett said there is a lot of artistic value and incredible scenes in the movie that will draw viewers in. It is non-stop fun, and there is a lot of science-fiction value in the movie. The Morlocks are fascinating to watch. It is a nice movie to kick back with some popcorn and just enjoy the ride. Hewlett added he likes a little extra kick to his rides, so he added a little hot sauce that sums up the movie.

Both actors have immense respect for one another and their sense of humor makes them unique compared to other science-fiction actors. They also appreciate their fans. While Hewlett enjoys the conventions, Picardo shared a story about a fan that carved tombstones for a living and made him a marble tombstone with a carving of his face in his and it weighed about forty pounds. The tombstone sits in his garden till this day.
Robert Picardo and David Hewlett are so incredibly talented, and you do not want to miss them in the Syfy Saturday Original Movie “Morlocks” airing Saturday, September 24, at 9/8c.

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Q and A with Producer Mark Lewis of Syfy’s “Paranormal Witness


“Paranormal Witness” is a newer show to the paranormal world, and during a Q&A, Producer Mark Lewis discussed the new series and where the idea for this unique show came from. The series is interesting because it tells single stories involving families, ordinary people from all walks of life, and they are interviewed about their ghostly experiences. Some are not ghostly, but just very unusual including a Bigfoot spotting and even a possible UFO spotting.

To get the stories on the air, Mark explains they are always on the hunt for the strange and unusual, as well as credible witnesses, who can properly tell these extraordinarily different stories about their experiences. The main goal is looking for legitimate stories that the series can develop a flow with. They reach out to many different types of people and all sorts of groups including paranormal groups. There is a lot of research done, and he combs through newspapers, and frequently checks the media for any odd stories that would fit the show’s “out there” type of aspect.

Mark mentioned the difficult part is tracking the people down because they are not exactly running to him. Some people are so traumatized they do not feel the need to relive something so horrific, so Mark has to approach them and reach out to the people who often feel “shell-shocked.” They are the ones they truly have to convince to appear on Paranormal Witness.

The process can be tedious due to finding credible applicants to appear on the show. Mark believes that conducting background checks is the most legitimate way to find out their credibility before they appear on the series. He does evaluations of everyone, and it can be an extensive process. He prefers having the stories be corroborated by newspaper reports, but they can also be corroborated by a real archive such as Radio Transfer, Trumbull UFO Chase, or even 911 calls, in which dispatchers often receive calls from people who claim to spot strange bright lights in the sky or unidentified flying objects.

One story that sticks out for Mark involves an Ohio dispatcher who took a 911 call from a town of people who all claimed to be seeing “bright lights in the sky.” There were around fourteen officers chasing this unidentified flying object around the country. The entire incident was recorded over the Trumbull County police 911 records offices, so they had all of those calls handy for him to review. It makes it much more reliable and different from other shows, because there is a present source and people who actually lived through these horrific stories to tell them.

Photographic evidence is also a big help. Mark relies on it for any type of poltergeist activity that is reported by those who appear on the series. It adds an extra layer of credibility and provides more visual details for the skeptics in this world. Mark prefers to have multiple sources; it is basically the more the merrier effect. The more people that contribute evidence and information to the stories, the more credible they are for viewers. He also goes to the families, not just to verify the story, but also verify the person and if what they saw or felt was actually paranormal and not just part of their imagination.

The reenactment aspect of the series came from Mark; he had an idea and stuck with it. He wanted to do something very different versus the current live investigations. He felt the reenactments, or drama documentaries as he calls them, would provide more of a dramatization, and the interviews would show the emotions of the real life people telling the stories. It is not just a group of people trying to figure out what or who is supposedly haunting a random building or location. He is not looking to replace any of the paranormal investigation shows, nor is he trying to tread on their toes.

Mark likes to keep the dramatizations as accurate as possible. For example, if someone says, “I stood up, and I saw the statue had been broken and on the floor,” the show gives a very detailed version of what was described, and the reenactments play while the real life people are interviewed. Some of the stories may seem out there, but they are being told to Mark as they happened to the individuals.

The stories have a scarier feel to them, because you can imagine what these people are going through and how they feel. The emotions are viable and lively. The tagline also puts the interest in there for all who are interested in paranormal and horror, don’t watch it alone. That scare tactic comes forth, and the series proves it does have several fearful aspects. Mark feels you should definitely not watch the show by yourself. He advises to be aware of episode four; it is one of the scariest of them all.

It is something that has not been done before, and it provides more of a real life, relatable effectiveness. Mark truly likes the documentary feel of the show. It feels like a testimony or a live therapy session. The audience witnesses the fear, sees it, and feels what they feel. If the episode is traumatic or sad, the fear and tears are there for the viewers. These situations become relatable. There are a lot of people who may not have been on a paranormal investigation, but there are always a few of us who have had an experience with something that goes bump in the night, yet there is never really an outlet to discuss it. Being able to watch Paranormal Witness provides some relief.

Mark likes to film the series as gritty as possible. He believes it gives it more of a realistic feel. Lewis has never personally had a paranormal experience but he said when you start working on a show like this, it obtains your interest further. It is something that is more freely discussed and more people believe in it.

Paranormal Witness, September 21 – A Poltergeist and Bigfoot


“Paranormal Witness” is Syfy’s new show based on true life stories that are told by the actual individuals who lived through these horrifying tales. On tonight’s episode a family suffers a traumatic haunting. This evil entity torments this house and its occupants so badly, they are forced out of their own home with a great deal of stress is put on them. In the second half of the episode, an Oregon man meets un unusual human monster in the woods and it’s not DEXTER!

“I never realized how difficult it would be to deal with something like this.” Those were Susan Lewis’ words as she began to describe her living nightmare.

Strange occurrences and random things tore the inside of this families home apart. They struggle to tell the story. Susan Lewis and her daughter Jamie let Susan’s new boyfriend Matt and his daughter Marie move into her California home in 2006, and that’s when the events began. Susan and Jamie bravely recall what happened during this intense time in their lives.

Susan loved her house; she said it was such a wonderful place to live. Jamie called it a sanctuary, the perfect place to live and the ultimate family home. Susan was in love with Matt, and Jamie had gained a sister she never had. The first strange thing that happened involved a jar of peanut butter that was lying on the counter. Susan thought the cats or the kids had made a mess.

Jamie wondered why her mother was asking her about melted messy peanut butter. The family began to find numerous things around the house lined up and arranged in a certain way and began to photograph and video tape the events. Susan suspected the kids and was not really convinced it was one hundred percent supernatural. Jamie begins to describe the first severe event that occurred. She had placed her coffee down and left the dog in the house. She turned around and there was coffee strewn all over her bed. She insisted it was Marie. She went through the options: no earthquake, she did not bump anything.

Jamie decided to clean her room, and when she grabbed her pillows off the bed and turned towards her door, the door was in a different position and a bottle of cleaning fluid was being dumped on her floor. She screamed for her Mom. When her Mom came up to her room, a small horse figurine flew off a shelf at the wall. Jamie and her mother instantly knew something was not right.

Susan was in shock and so was Jamie. Jamie’s entire shelf full of items was flying off the shelf at Susan, Jamie and Marie. The three made a run for it and got in the car. Jamie told her mother she believed there was a poltergeist in the house. That was nothing compared to what happened in the following months.

The house had become a mess and doors were banging constantly. Things would be twisted and out of order, and the walls were written on with strange debris. The food in the fridge was ruined on a daily basis. The reenactments were combined with real life photographs and video of what the house looked like. It was insane. At night all the lights would go off in the house, and ven though they would flick the switch to on, the lights would stay off.

Susan was not fully convinced that there was something in the house. Matt did not believe anything and began to accuse Jamie of doing the strange things for attention. Susan said one night she had spotted arrows drawn all over the walls with some of them pointed towards the heating duct leading up to the attic. Susan suggested to Matt that they should investigate.

He was not convinced and extremely skeptical. He wanted to rationalize it, but Susan wanted him to believe her. She knew something was in the house and playing with the family. Whatever it was it had wanted to cause them a lot of grief. The attic was dirty and messy and full of loose installation. Matt made his way up there. Susan remembers the tension and energy being so alive, so active and intense. Matt began to panic in the attic and Susan told him he needed to get out of the attic.

Matt still did not accept what was happening. Susan wanted to communicate with it and spoke with someone who advised her to “offer something to it,” sort of a peace offering. She made a place on the mantle to work as an alter for the poltergeist. Susan is a cat lover, so she found a small cat fairy figure. She placed the cat on the alter and said “The gift is for you.” She did not want whatever was in the house to let the spirit know that they mean no harm. Matt was very much against all of this, and that included giving it a gift. He told Susan she was talking to the Devil.

Matt grabbed the small figurine, as Susan had now risked their relationship, and tossed the small figurine out their back door shouting, “That is enough of that!” He was angry and turned around, as the cat figurine stared back at him on the table. He had just thrown it out the door, and it was now sitting on the table. Talk about making you think you are insane.

The cat figurine mysteriously reappeared, and Jamie told Matt he had better not smash the cat. She felt as if she was doomed after offering up a gift to try and calm the poltergeist. Things only got worse from there. Jamie found the word cat written all over the house. Susan said it had gone on a rampage.

Showin' Some HooHa On The Dance Floor: Jersey Shore, S4, Ep8

Last we saw SloppySnooki, she was in the back of an Italian police car after careening her car into a different police car. The boys were on their way to bring her license, but they got stuck in traffic. SloppySnooki is upset mostly because she’s embarrassed to be in the back of a police car for a second time. Not because she and SloppyDeena might go to Italian jail.

When DJP pulls up to the scene, Vincenzo and Sitch jump out, waving around the documentation, but they are waving it at an empty car as the girls have already been taken away. A cop on the street tells them they were taken to the police headquarters. The guys are convinced they are going to be kicked out of Italy.

While I don’t think that’s going to happen, I’m pretty surprised they’ve been there as long as they have before creating such an international incident.

In very anti-climactic fashion, the boys head down to the police station, fill out paperwork, and then they leave with the sloppy girls in tow. SloppySnooki got her license taken away, so she’s not allowed to drive in Italy anymore and she doesn’t want to anyway. No one is getting kicked out of the country.

When they get home, SloppySnooki explains to SamSam how the accident happened. SamSam is happy they are okay. SloppySnooki can’t believe she went to jail again, so she calls Jianni (whose name I’ve been misspelling this whole time but now it’s just too much of a chore to change it, so Jianni it will remain). She tells Jianni she got into a car accident and he responds with, “What do you mean?” Not, “are you okay,” but “What do you mean?” Really, I thought her statement was sufficiently informative. She tells him she ran into a cop car. He asks her if she was drunk. Well, okay, yes, good question. She says no. He asks if she’s okay—finally—and she says yup.

Then Jianni tells her that Roger, JWoWW’s boyfriend, can’t come to Italy because of work. SloppySnooki would kill herself if Jianni couldn’t come. She then tells JWoWW to call Roger right away because Roger told Jianni he can’t get off of work. JWoWW knew that would happen. She’s been planning for him to come since she got to Italy. She wants to throw up. Instead, she calls Roger, crying, and tells him what Jianni told SloppySnooki. He said he put in for the days off but it wasn’t enough notice so he got denied. She cries more and he says he’s sorry. She missed him. He wanted to see her but it’s out of his hands. Well, that’s crappy.

JWoWW cries some more in her bed. The girls sympathize. SloppyDeena suggests they go out to get her mind off of it. So they get all dressed up to go to Astor and have some drinks for ladies’ night, except for SloppySnooki who needs to relax after her accident. The boys go out and have a MRVP night—Mr. VP. You know, their initials. The fun with words doesn’t stop there—Sitch explains the ratio of guys to girls at the club using a metaphor about hot dogs and buns. Very charming.

At home, SloppySnooki talks to Jianni on the phone about how long a flight to Italy will be. They have a slight discrepancy about the hours. The doorbell rings and rings and rings. She’s freaked out because she’s alone and knows it can’t be any of her roommates. She looks out over the balcony and sees it’s Brittany, the blonde stalker girl. SloppySnooki lets her in because she’s still mad at Sitch for spreading rumors. She wants Brittany to stay in Sitch’s bed so when he comes home with a girl, he’ll have problems. Okay, now that? Is HIL. AIR. EEE. US.

SloppySnooki takes a very drunk Brittany into the confessional to ask her why she’s there. Brittany says she likes Sitch because he’s different and spontaneous. SloppySnooki tells her that Sitch says he wants Brittany there every day. Brittany believes this of course.

The girls arrive home and SloppySnooki meets them at the top of the stairs to tell them she has a surprise for Sitch. She brings them inside, shouting Surpriiiiiiiiiise!, and they turn the corner to find Brittany sitting in the kitchen. They go hysterical and tell her that she should go wait for Sitch in his bed because he’ll be home soon.

Soon enough, the boys come home. Sitch has a girl with him as do the other guys. When they go into his room, Brittany wakes up and says hi. Sitch is highly confused. The boys think it’s weird. The girl Stich brought home keeps asking who the girl is. Sitch tells her that Brittany lives there. He tells the new girl that she should leave because Brittany is obviously already DTF. SloppySnooki is pissed that her plan backfired being that Sitch ultimately got it in anyway, showing that it doesn’t matter who the vagina is attached to, as long as he can put his penis inside of one.

Jianni is going to arrive soon, so SloppySnooki gets her spray tan on so she doesn’t look chunky and then changes her clothes several hundred times because he hasn’t seen her in a while. The boys keep asking her if Jianni is there yet. She asks Vincenzo and DJP to be nice. They say they will be. DJP thinks a lot of s**t will go down once he gets there because SloppySnooki has almost hooked up with Sitch and then made out with SloppyDeena. Both of which Jianni knows about already so I don’t know what drama is going to happen.

Finally, Jianni arrives. She meets him at the front door and cries hysterically. He asks if she missed him. He doesn’t say, I missed you. He doesn’t say, It’s nice to see you. He just asks about himself. Nice.

SloppySnooki takes him into the smush room. He wants to shower. She doesn’t want to introduce him to anyone. She wants to have sex with him. He insists on showering, so she Febreezes it and puts blankets on. Jianni goes into the kitchen, shakes hands with Sitch, and then SloppySnooki takes Jianni inside. Sitch has his guard up and thinks Jianni knows something.

Meanwhile, SloppySnooki and Jianni smush it up in the smush room.

Sitch’s new thing is karate. If anyone comes within a foot of him, he plans to kick him. SloppyDeena refers to him as KungFu Panda. Hil.Air.Eee.Us.

Everyone gets ready to go out. SloppySnooki changes into a neon pink leopard print dress. Jianni wants to know what happened to her first outfit. RonRon walks by, laughing and agreeing because this dress hardly covers her lady parts.

In the taxi on the way to the club, Sitch decides that if Jianni asks him anything, he’s going to tell him the truth. I don’t know how that conversation would be able to take place considering Sitch’s new One Foot Perimeter Kicking Zone.

They all arrive at an outdoor club. They all drink. They all dance. Sitch decides the club has a nice gripping floor in case he needs to kick someone. Then he tells JWoWW if Jianni comes up to him, he’s going t kick him in the head. For some reason, Sitch sounds like he’s on helium. JWoWW reminds him that the last time he fought, he knocked himself out on a wall.

Meanwhile, Jianni and SloppySnooki are dancing and making out, not caring about Sitch. FYI: When SloppySnooki and Jianna have little guido babies, she plans to have a C-section as to not screw up her vagina. SloppySnooki keeps telling Jianni to be aware of Sitch and is annoyed by Sitch. The girls think this is a bad idea because she’s basically just making Jianni feel uncomfortable with a situation he was already cool with. Oh, jeez, I just said situation.

Everyone piles into taxis. Sitch tells the guys that RonRon told him to do his thing meaning what up. I have no idea what he’s talking about. The guys think Sitch is having an imaginary fight in his mind with Jianni. He totally is.

At another club, Sitch asks SloppySnooki if Jianni has a problem with him because Jianni has been looking at him funny. No, he hasn’t. That’s what SloppySnooki tells him and then she suggests he relaxes.

SloppySnooki goes to dance with Jianni. For some reason, she keeps pulling her dress up to her belly button. She’s wearing underwear, but still. Jianni thinks she’s dancing like a whore. Clearly, drunk, she reaches for his cigarette and he gets pissed. Then he storms away because he’s embarrassed. JWoWW chases him, tells him to let her embarrass herself, and says he shouldn’t be embarrassed. SloppySnooki runs up the stairs and outside and down the street to find him. She falls. RonRon runs after the two of them—what the??? Why is he involved?

RonRon grabs SloppySnooki and tells her to go back to JWoWW while he chases down Jianni. JWoWW asks SloppySnooki to stop because she’s drunk and embarrassing. SloppySnooki screams, No body talk to me! JWoWW tells her she’s acting like an asshole. SloppySnooki wants to know where Jianni is going and JWoWW says he’s getting away from her. SloppySnooki doesn’t want to be touched and JWoWW keeps saying she’s trying to help her. SloppySnooki yells, I hate you! And then she keeps yelling, Where’s my boyfriend? I don’t deserve this! Jianni!

This is all a tad bit melodramatic for my taste. And by melodramatic, I mean extremely, extremely stupid.

And now all the girls look for Jianni. SloppySnooki beats up a taxi. Literally. She takes her bag and whacks at it. RonRon finds Jianni and calls out, It’s just me, dog, it’s Ronnie, it’s just me, no one else.

Ummm, I think RonRon is hitting on Jianni.

RonRon doesn’t want Jianni to leave SloppySnooki like that. Jianni asks him what he would do if he saw SamSam dancing by lifting up her skirt. RonRon explains that it’s the life Jianni walked into.

No, really, RonRon is trying to get with Jianni. He’s got both his hands on Jianni’s shoulders and their faces are less than a foot from each other.

RonRon sees Jianni’s point of view. SloppySnooki needs to act like Girlfriend Schnooki, not Single Schnooki, but then again, what did Jianni expect when he picked her up at Sea Side. RonRon tells Jianni to talk to SloppySnooki like a real man.

SloppySnooki is now leaning against a building and sobbing. SloppyDeena and SamSam are trying to get her to stop crying. JWoWW is walking around with her feet bleeding so she takes off her shoes. She can’t find Jianni. The girls and Vincenzo and Sitch find a cab to put SloppySnooki into. In the cab, she screams how she hates him. SamSam tells the cab driver to get to the house quickly—she says it in Italian! Points for SamSam.

When they get home, SloppySnooki wants to stay outside alone. SloppyDeena and SamSam try to get her to go upstairs. Sitch and DJP arrive and they ask them to get her to go upstairs. Sitch leans in but then they tell him to leave her alone. DJP looks over and shrugs, Who cares? HIL. AIR. EEE. US. It’s times like these I really wonder what it’s like to be a guy. Girls are so much drama. What guy—aside from RonRon—goes home crying like that? Seriously.

Vincenzo gets SloppySnooki to go inside, explaining that Jianni has to come back to the house. His passport and all his stuff is there. He has to come back at some point. Vincenzo thinks it’s ridiculous that Jianni got mad at SloppySnooki for how she was dancing. He tells her she needs to breath and calm down. She decides that she needs to go to sleep so she climbs into bed with her make up and dress still on and weeps.

You know what? The two of them would make a good couple. Really.

JWoWW is still roaming the streets, shoeless, calling out for Jianni. She can’t find him so she goes home. She tells DJP that her feet are bleeding. He asks what caused the fight and JWoWW explains how SloppySnooki showed her lady parts on the dance floor and how Jianni got embarrassed. DJP thinks that Jianni should have known what he was getting himself into and can’t handle problems this way.

SamSam feels terrible for both SloppySnooki and Jianni for different reasons. JWoWW says, Now you know how we feel and why we have to get involved—meaning how they always wind up in the middle of the battles between SamSam and RonRon. SamSam says she felt like she needed to help SloppySnooki no matter if she was right or wrong.

SloppySnooki comes into the bedroom from the smush room with all her blankets. JWoWW asks if she needs anything. She doesn’t want anyone to talk to her. So SamSam says, I will do that for you, and leaves the room.

So then everyone except SloppySnooki has some burgers. Some very burnt burgers. I’m surprised they aren’t burning the house down.

Jianni arrives back at the house and rings the bell. SloppySnooki tears herself away from her crying in bed and lets him in. He runs upstairs, passes her, and refuses to talk to her. She keeps asking him where he’s going. He finally answers her by telling her to leave him alone. She screams at him that he’s mean and psycho and she hates him and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He keeps telling her to leave.

Finally, realizing that a drunk girl is not rational, Jianni explains to her that she should calm down and then says he got mad and embarrassed because she lifted her skirt up on the dance floor. She doesn’t think she did that. He tells her she screwed things up with him and he can’t be with a girl who will lift up her skirt.

Overhearing every single bit of this in the living room, SamSam feels so bad and they again explain how this was her and RonRon last year and they never knew what to do. SamSam, being on the other side of it, does not like it. She tells DJP that she’s sorry for all of that and he says, Don’t worry about it. Because he’s a guy and he’s already over it.

SloppySnooki is back in her room, sobbing, and saying she wants to go home. She’s pissed because all she wanted was to be with Jianni in Italy and now it’s all screwed up and she doesn’t deserve this. Jianni is packing his suit case and dragging it through the house. JWoWW asks him if they can change his mind. She doesn’t understand how he can travel 21 hours and then leave after 6 because of a fight.

He heads downstairs and outside and into a cab. SloppySnooki runs after him but he’s already gone. She thinks she’s a really good girlfriend even though she’s crazy when she drinks but she doesn’t understand why he left since she loves him. She loves him so much that she’ll show her goods to everyone in a club and still go home with him. That’s love.


X-Factor, Sept. 22 – The Lesson: Be Yourself

The first night of auditions for X-Factor went pretty well last night. In some ways it was reminiscent of American Idol, but in other ways it was much different. There was some great talent put through, and some great stories behind the talent, just like we find on Idol. I’m hoping for more of the same tonight in Miami and Dallas.

The judges in Miami are Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, L.A. Reid, and Nicole Scherzinger. First up is Ashley Sansone, 29. She’s an unemployed starving artist, although not truly starving, as she has not one, but two hot dogs with her. She figures people think she’s a pop singer already because of her outfits. She also can’t stop talking, as she tells her friend something about having to pee because of something pressing on her diaphragm. She’s asked who inspires her and first says herself, then says she doesn’t want to be cornball singing about gummy bears. She likes Madonna and gives her big props … Simon interrupters her asking if she works, which of course she doesn’t, but she continues on anyway.

Paula gets exhausted listening to Ashley and L.A.tells her to sing. She takes off her shoes and sings Piece of My Heart … badly. She does the whole thing in such a growl that you can’t understand her. L.A. hopes she has really thick skin, noting she was getting on his nerves when she was talking, but once she started singing, he wanted to slit his wrists. Simon explains the problem. He couldn’t understand a single word she sang. She asks if she can sing a ballad, and the audience cries no. She’s dismissed.

Chanel Simone Dixon, 34, a hairdresser, has a blonde flip hairstyle, black leggings, red boots, and a yellow one-shoulder top. She gets noes and is shocked. Demanding an explanation, Simon tells her it was awful as it sounded like all screaming. She vows to continue singing unless she dies. A group of three guys, Kanan Road, ages 27-30, a salesman and account managers, vow it won’t be the last time we see them when they’re rejected.

Mother and daughter group DreamGirlz, ages 39 and 15, a dog shelter associate and student, are stopped after just a few words by Simon, who says he can’t believe this act could sell records. One of the thirty family members they brought with them says that’s “bull…” When the other judges say no, he demands they get him out of this place and tells “Mom” it’s ridiculous. She tells him he’s embarrassing the family. He swears and yells all the way out.

Simon tells the other three judges it was his mistake when he told them not to worry about Miami. Marissa Hopson, 25, an Internet blogger, is told by Simon she sings like a 3-year-old with a cold. Famous Miami native Gloria Estefan shows up at the auditions, telling everyone to show the judges what makes Miami special, and so far they haven’t been.

Caitlynne Curtis, 16, a student, brought her whole family with her today and feels extremely lucky her family supports and believes in her. She’s so nervous, she’s gone to the bathroom “like ten times so far.” Her mom is a pharmacy tech and her dad a printer, but she wants to be a singer. She sings the piano version of Firework and for the first time tonight, it sounds promising, despite her seeming a little nervous in the beginning.

Nicole thinks Caitlynne shows room to grow. Simon tells her it’s not good news coming from Nicole. His advice is that she should sing in a group with three or four others her age where she doesn’t have to rely on a fantastic vocal. He doesn’t think her voice is good enough. Caitlynne tells them she’s just really nervous. Simon votes no, and Nicole thinks they just don’t have enough time to allow her to grow. Caitlynne starts to cry, and Paula begs her to please not break down. Paula goes up on the stage and hugs her and tells her it’s okay. Caitlynne just begs her to not say no. L.A. tells her it’s moments like this that creates champions. She doesn’t even care about the money and just wants to sing.

Simon is calling this the worst session. Nick Voss, 21, lives in a three-bedroom house with seven people, but they’re a strong family, so like to stay together. Paula and Simon talk backstage about their concerns. Nick got a job recently to help his mom with the bills, and his boss told him if he goes to the audition, he’s fired. He told him to fire him. His family thinks he’ll be the first to make it through today. He wants this for them. He tells the judges he feels like more of a performing artist than anything and that this would change his life. He got fired from a job for dancing. He sings Trouble, and definitely is a performance artist. He doesn’t have the best voice, but could have the X Factor.

As the crowd cheers for the first time today, L.A. tells Nick if it were purely the singing business, he wouldn’t have great things to say, but because it’s about the entertainment business in general, and because he brought it into the room and for the first time today made him excited, he’s impressed. Nicole was confused at first, because he’s like Jim Carrey meets Jerry Lewis, with a little sprinkle of Elvis, but she digs him. Paula advises him to keep being unique and lose the Michael Jackson choreography. If he keeps performing like he did, that’s what people pay money for, and if he can work on his vocals, that’s what makes her excited. Simon absolutely loves him. He loves that he got emotional talking to him. He’s looking for an entertainer, and likes him. He gets four yeses.

Ashley Deckard, 14, a student, is also a ghost hunter, and admits to seeing apparitions many times before. One crawled at her. She knows Simon is looking for different, and she knows that’s her. When Simon asks her what the ghosts look like, she tells him they look like people. Paula knows what she’s talking bout, as she sees ghosts too. Launching into her audition, Ashley might be best sticking to the ghost hunting.

What's Hot on TV Tonight – RIP All My Children

WHOTV.jpgIt’s finally here. The last episode of All My Children. ABC has carried out their threat, killing off the show to put The Chew on instead. In this, they aren’t respecting the fans much at all. These people are like family to us. I’ve been watching Erica Kane since she was a bratty teenager. Look how far she’s come! I’ll admit, they paid it homage for the past few months, but it doesn’t make up for taking it away. Goodbye, All My Children. You will be missed. Catch up on your other favorite shows you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. The View. Susan Lucci guest cohosts this celebration of All My Children. 10:00 AM CT ABC

2. Pretty in Pink. Jon Cryer steals the show here as Molly Ringwald’s best friend, Ducky, who has great taste in music. 10:30 AM CT Oxygen

3. All My Children. Series Finale. The End. 12:00 PM CT ABC

4. The Talk. Molly Shannon and Kris Jenner are the guest cohosts, and Jane Kaczmarek and Phil Keoghan are the guests. 1:00 PM CT CBS

5. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The guests today include Jamie Foxx, Dr. Drew Pinsky, and Elisabetta Canalis and Valentin Chmerkovskiy. Syndicated, check local listings.

6. Road to Perdition. Tom Hanks plays a mob hit man who goes hiding with his son and is betrayed by his boss. It was filmed in the Chicago suburbs here and was big doings at the time. 4:15 PM CT 5StarMax

7. A Gifted Man Series Premiere. The ghost of a brilliant surgeon’s dead ex-wife appears, changing his life. 7:00 PM CT CBS

8. Nikita. Michael and Nikita prepare to use the contents of the black box to bring down Division and Oversight, and Amanda wants help from Alex on a mission. 7:00 PM CT CW

9. Kitchen Nightmares. Chef Ramsay helps a New Jersey restaurant improve service and food quality. 7:00 PM CT Fox

10. CSI: NY. Mac and the others reflect back to 9/11. 8:00 PM CT CBS

11. Dateline NBC. A woman says she was abducted from her expensive home, as 150 investigators search for her. 8:00 PM CT NBC

12. Supernatural. Dean, Sam, and Bobby get a warning from Castiel. Dean has a confrontation with Death, and Sam experiences difficulties with the broken wall in his head. 8:00 PM CT CW

13. Fringe. Lincoln Lee joins the team and is personally invested in their first case together, a shapeshifter case. 8:00 PM CT CW

14. Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta. Judea brings her divorced parents with her, and Jane hasn’t found the perfect dress after trying on more than one hundred. 8:00 PM CT TLC

15. Ghost Adventures. The guys head to the rural Midwest to clash with the demonic forces at the Ashmore Estates. In 1870, the Ashmore Estates was a poor house, filled with social outcasts. After almost a century of countless deaths, the estates were then modified to be a psychiatric hospital in 1959. Some of the worst patients from another psych ward were sent here to continue their tortured existence. In 1986, Ashmore closed for good, and ever since, it’s been plagued with a demonic presence. While there, the trio hopes to discover these evil entities in order to learn more about their malicious ways. 8:00 PM CT Travel Channel

16. Unleashed by Garo. Jennifer is a new mom who is going out on the town with her husband for the first time since their baby was born, and she wants to wear a vintage dress that will transform her new curves from matronly to ooh la la. Nefe is a six-foot tall woman who is often mistaken for a man. She wants a gown for a gala event that will finally make her feel like a beautiful woman. Tali, a world-famous showgirl and Garo’s secret crush, is headlining in Las Vegas and needs a no-holds-barred, show-stopping costume. 8:00 PM CT Sundance Channel

17. Blue Bloods. A supporter of the mayor-elect is found dead, putting Frank on the spot. Jaime goes undercover at a bar. 9:00 PM CT CBS

18. 20/20. Reports on people whose lives have been changed by YouTube. 9:00 PM CT ABC

19. Haven. Duke is getting ready to leave the marina, but just before he hops into his jeep, he sees a light moving from behind the shades of his boat. He quickly grabs a gun and cautiously enters to see what or who may be trespassing. He’s greeted by an abnormally large man and a brawl begins. Duke finally reaches a light and realizes it’s Dwight and that he’s after a key. They both go after it and then draw weapons. Duke may be a little shorthanded. 9:00 PM CT Syfy

20. The Joy Behar Show. The guests tonight are Ty Pennington and Jerry Springer. 9:00 PM CT HLN

21. Four Weddings. Amanda wants a traditional wedding, while Lakeisha wants to get rid of the bouquet and garter traditions. Jessica wants to have talking parrots as entertainment, while Marcia chooses sexy salsa dancers. 9:00 PM CT TLC

22. The Dead Files. Pairs together a paranormal team like no other—a hard-nosed, retired NYC Homicide Detective, Steve DiSchiavi and Amy Allan, a gifted Psychic Communicator. They both approach each case separately, utilizing their own past experience and specific skill set. 9:00 PM CT Travel Channel

23. Quirky. Products include modular coffee storage and a headphone holder. 9:00 PM CT Sundance Channel

24. Real Time with Bill Maher. Panelists include John Avlon, former CA Rep. Jane Harman, Michael Moore, Tom Morello, and Ron Suskind. 9:00 PM CT HBO

25. Strike Back. After the firefight at the arms deal exchange point, Tahir (Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje) escapes to the desert with Clare (Laura Haddock) as a hostage, and with Stonebridge and Crawford (Iain Glen) in pursuit. As they close in and prepare for an assault, Crawford gets under Stonebridge’s skin and hints about a traitor within British Intelligence. Sinclair takes an injured Scott to the hospital and is arrested by the corrupt official, so Colonel Grant takes matters into her own hands. 9:00 PM CT Cinemax

26. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The guests tonight include Hugh Jackman, Maya Rudolph, and Tony Bennett. 9:00 PM CT Starz

X-Factor, Sept. 21 – The Trash Hauler

I’ve been looking forward to seeing X-Factor for the past several months. I would have been looking forward to seeing it to begin with, but that desire was only increased when I got a chance to attend one of the tapings. Those auditions won’t air tonight, as it will be the ones filmed in Los Angeles and Seattle, instead of Chicago, yet I’m still wondering how they’re going to handle the auditions when Nicole Scherzinger was still a cohost, and not a judge, before she took Cheryl Cole’s place. Are they going to acknowledge the big change they made halfway through the auditions?

Steve Jones is now the lone host, and he starts it all off in Los Angeles, with the note it’s the city with the largest turnout. What makes this different than American Idol is that the age minimum is lower, and the maximum is lifted. Additionally, these aren’t just soloists, but singing groups as well. Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell are joined in Los Angeles by Cheryl and Seattle by Nicole. The fourth judge on the panel is L.A. Reid, the guy behind Pink and Justin Bieber. And of course, the fifth judge at the auditions is the audience, as they take place in arenas, instead of in a hotel conference room.

First up is Rachel Crow, 13, an 8th grader. She sings all the time wherever she goes, and her sister thinks she’s crazy. The rest of her family is supportive of her, in this most important thing she’s ever done in her life. Simon cracks that she and Paula should be related because of a similar personality. If she wins the five million, she explains, “My family has like no money.” There are six of them living in a two-bedroom house. She’s a girl and needs her own bathroom. She sings Mercy, and proves that she has a good voice to go along with definitely having “it.” The crowd and judges love her.

Paula tells Rachel what she just did is exactly what they need. She delivered the goods with personality, and then opened up her mouth and sung and blew them away. Rachel had Cheryl before she even sang, and once she sang, Cheryl thought, “Oh my God, we’ve found ourselves a little star.” L.A. notes she had everything every other artist he’s ever seen had, “Spunky, funky, fly, feisty, sassy, soulful.” Simon explains they spent a long time deliberating how low to make the age minimum, and she’s the reason why they made it the right age. He thinks we should remember her name, as we’ll be hearing more about her. He also tells her to get ready for a new bathroom.

Next up is Terrell Carter, 36, actor and singer. He came to L.A. for his music. He sings a great soulful tune and has the crowd on its feet. Cheryl tells him he has “the package.” Terrell gets four yeses and is through. Ellona Santiago, 14, a student, has a meek speaking voice, but a booming singing voice. Cheryl is impressed, and Ellona gets four yeses. John Lindahl, 14, a student, has experience through school productions. He sings Forget You, and after promising to work hard, gets four yeses.

Siameze Floyd, 30, a hotel performer, talks about his look and his talent. He notes that girls are “like way easy to get like when you’ve been onstage.” Once he’s a megastar, he wants to release an energy drink called Siamenergy. With the five million, he would invest in his career. He sings and combines it with a dance and a striptease. He seems somewhat confused. The judges don’t appear to know what to think either.

Cheryl asks herself if she really loved the performance, but can’t answer whether it’s genius or weird. Simon notes that Siameze is obviously a big fan of Prince, as he’s a copycat. However, there is something fascinating about him. Paula calls it rare to have someone willing to commit to that kind of energy, but doesn’t think it’s original enough. L.A. votes no based on that, while Cheryl votes yes. Paula wants to see what he has, and Simon calls him talented but diluted, yet says yes anyway. After he leaves, Simon admits he thinks he’ll be a nightmare. Paula wants him to have Siameze all to himself.

Dan and Venita, 70 and 83, retired entertainers, are a duet. They got married at the Gunfighers Club and live in Pahrump, Nevada. Their dream is to get that recording contract. They’re the first ones up on day two in L.A. Simon asks what they could see themselves doing in five years, and Dan mishears him, thinking he’s asking about having five at a time. Venita says they’ll be in their travel home playing in the most beautiful senior centers. The two sing Simon’s favorite song, Unchained Melody. In their day they were probably somewhat good, but it’s just not hitting it today.

Simon tells the two they won’t be remembered for that version of the song, as it was terrifying. He can imagine he and Paula being them in ten years. As they approach the vote, Venita asks if they’re not going to sing again, and the judges seem terrified that she and Dan might try it. Paula thinks the two of them doing this is fantastic, and they’ll probably live longer than any of them, but they aren’t right for the competition. Cheryl loves their reason for why they came, but didn’t love the audition. Simon likes that they didn’t give up, but dismisses them nonetheless.

You Only Live Once, 15 and 19, both students, combine two weird acts into one. Simon explains it as one singing, and the other like she swallowed poison. They get four noes. Linda Ostrofsky, 61, a retired court clerk, calls herself Shanna, as there are always too many Lindas. She screams almost as much as the last act. Simon refers to her as a little tiger and says not in a million years. Miranda Singleton, 30, a stay-at-home mom, wants to be the next Madonna. She struggles to find a tune, and tells Simon he’s wrong when he says he doesn’t think she’s a very good singer.

Simone Battle, 21, a college student, wants to be a pop icon. She thinks she’s different because she’s fierce and thinks she has the self-confidence the winner needs to have. She would call her first album Honey Works because she likes to describe herself as a combination of a cheerleader, a hipster, and a drag queen. She sings When I Grow Up, and she’s not bad, but I don’t know if she has it. Simon thinks she really is fierce, as well as ambitious, and would be fun to watch. Cheryl enjoyed it and thinks she has potential. L.A. completely disagrees, and Simon asks for another song to just hear her voice. The crowd loves her second effort. L.A. stands by what he says, as he just didn’t get excited about it, but the other three judges put her through.

What's Hot on TV Tonight – Too Many Premieres!

WHOTV.jpgIt’s one of those nights where you’ll be thankful for that DVR. There are series and season premieres all over the place, including X-Factor, The Middle, and Modern Family. Check out your other favorite shows at TV-Links.

1. Live with Regis and Kelly. The guests today include Jonah Hill, Jane Lynch, and Kelly Monaco. Syndicated, check local listings.

2. The Talk. Molly Shannon and Kris Jenner are cohorts today, and Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer, Mario Lopez, and Soleil Moon Fry are among the guests today. 1:00 PM CT CBS

3. The Switch. Single lady Jennifer Aniston accidentally gets pregnant by her best friend, Jason Bateman when he gets drunk at her sperm donor party and switches his sperm for the donor’s. She moves away, then moves back to town seven years later with her son who shows odd resemblances to Bateman. 2:30 PM CT Showtime

4. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anna Kendrick and Bryce Dallas Howard, and Maroon 5 are among the guests today. Syndicated, check local listings.

5. The Princess Diaries. What girl doesn’t dream of waking up and finding out she’s a princess? A young Anne Hathaway and not so young Julie Andrews star. 5:00 PM CT ABC Family

6. MLB Baseball: Rays at Yankees. Tampa Bay Rays at New York Yankees. 6:00 PM CT ESPN

7. Survivor: South Pacific This first person at Redemption Island gets a guest. 7:00 PM CT CBS

8. Up All Night. Reagan and Chris both obsess over the new neighbors, and baby Amy seems to like Calvin more than Ava. 8:00 PM CT NBC

9. The Middle. Frankie insists on a family vacation before school starts again, and she and Mike remember their honeymoon, which was ruined by a guy Mike used to know in high school. Ray Romano guest stars. 1:00 PM CT ABC

10. H8R. 8:00 PM CT CW

11. X-Factor. Season Premiere. San Francisco and Los Angeles auditions. 7:00 PM CT Fox

12. Free Agents. Alex asks dan and Gregg to help convince a client to stay with Hale Dayton, and Emma attempts to work her ways with a guy who works in the building. 8:30 PM CT NBC

13. Criminal Minds. Season Premiere. Members of the BAU team are questioned by a Senate committee, with a familiar face possibly helping out. 8:00 PM CT CBS

14. Harry’s Law. Season Premiere. Harry is convinced by a former colleague to defend a man accused of killing his wife, a new colleague represents an artist whose work was altered, and Tommy Jefferson takes over the office. 8:00 PM CT NBC

15. Modern Family. Season Premiere. The family heads to a ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, for a family vacation, and Mitch and Cam announce they want to adopt another child. 8:00 PM CT CW

16. America’s Next Top Model. The models divide into alliances, some of the models don’t do well with their makeovers, and Ashlee Simpson guest judges. 8:00 PM CT CW

17. Ghost Hunters. “Ghost of Carnegie.” 8:00 PM CT Syfy

18. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Season Premiere. The tea has only one witness after multiple attacks on a public tram. 9:00 PM CT CBS

19. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. The detectives investigate a an assault on a hotel maid by a powerful Italian diplomat. 9:00 PM CT NBC

20. Revenge. A woman rents a home in Southampton that she once lived in with her dad, and sets a plan in motion. 9:00 PM CT ABC

21. Paranormal Witness. “The Poltergeist; Watched in the Wilderness.” 9:00 PM CT Syfy

22. Top Chef: Just Desserts. The chefs are challenged to create a candy bar and frozen treats.. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

23. The Joy Behar Show. Levi Johnston, Joe McGinnis, and Florence Henderson are the guests tonight. 9:00 PM CT HLN

24. Toddlers & Tiaras. Merkeley wakes up sick on the morning of the pageant, Alessonda competes in a long dress with an 80’s hairstyle, and Carley and mom want perfection. 9:00 PM CT TLC

25. Confessions: Animal Hoarding. A mom has to choose to keep her kittens or keep her daughter healthy. 9:00 PM CT Animal Planet

26. Primetime on OWN. A look at Pope Joan, believed to be the only Roman Catholic female pontiff. 9:00 PM CT OWN

27. Free Agents. Series Premiere. Two co-workers who are coming off their separate relationships ending end up in bed together after a moment of weakness. 9:30 PM CT NBC

28. Conan. Jim Parsons, Chris Pratt, and Grouplove are the guests tonight. 10:00 PM CT TBS

29. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The guests tonight include Amy Poehler, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and The Kooks. 10:35 PM CT CBS

What's Hot on TV Tonight – Glee Season Premiere

Glee is back in session with a new school year tonight, and The Biggest Loser shows off its new trainers after Jillian Michaels’ exit. Catch up with all the TV you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. Live with Regis and Kelly. The guests today include Julianna Margulies, Paula Abdul, and Anna Kournikova. Syndicated, check local listings.

2. Sixteen Candles. Of all the 80s movies out there, this one is pretty close to my favorite, evidenced by the amount of quotes that have slipped into my pop culture references, some of it no longer politically correct. 10:35 AM CT WMax

3. The Talk. Patricia Heaton and Jack Hanna are the guests today, and Molly Shannon and Kris Jenner are guest co-hosts. 1:00 PM CT CBS

4. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The guests today include Christina Applegate, Kathy Bates, and Demi Lovato. Syndicated, check local listings.

5. 3 Ninjas. Three young brothers who are all martial artists try to help stop a smuggling scheme. 4:00 PM CT Disney XD

6. NCIS. Season Premiere. Tony needs Gibbs help to get some answers after spending months tracking his target. 7:00 PM CT CBS

7. The Biggest Loser. Season Premiere. Jillian Michaels has left the show again, and is being replaced by Anna Kournikova and Dolvett Quince. 7:00 PM CT NBC

8. Dancing with the Stars. In the first hour, get a chance to meet the new cast, and in the second hour, watch one of them go home already. 7:00 PM CT ABC

9. 90210. Naomi and Annie take part in sorority games, Liam comes to a decision about the bar, and Silver gets Adrianna involved in the search for Navid’s sister. 7:00 PM CT CW

10. Glee. Season Premiere. Mr. Schuester gives the glee club an assignment to get them back on track at the beginning of the new school year, and Sue starts campaigning for congress. 7:00 PM CT CW

11. NCIS: Los Angeles. Season Premiere. Then team heads to Romania to look for Hetty, and Callen discovers information about his past. 8:00 PM CT CBS

12. Ringer. Bridget’s past interferes as she tries to find out more about Siobhan’s life, Andrew and his business partner try to land new clients, and Gemma grows suspicious about Henry possibly cheating. 8:00 PM CT CW

13. New Girl. Series Premiere. After breaking up suddenly with her boyfriend, a young woman moves in with three single guys who help her dive back into the dating pool. 8:00 PM CT Fox

14. Kathy Griffin: Pants Off. The comedian performs at the Sergerstrom Center for the Arts in Costa Mesa. 8:00 PM CT Bravo

15. What Not to Wear. A nanny with a “medieval peasant” style wants help landing a full time job and/or date. 8:00 PM CT TLC

16. Downsized. Todd’s son Cody pays a visit. 8:00 PM CT WE

17. New Girl. Season Premiere. Jimmy finds out he was a musical prodigy at one point until an accident ruined it, and now wants Burt, Virginia, and Maw Maw to help him regain his prior abilities. 8:30 PM CT Fox

18. Unforgettable. Series Premiere. A former detective is reunited with her colleague/ex because of a murder, and needs to use a rare ability to solve the case. 9:00 PM CT CBS

19. Parenthood. Kristina has concurs about Max reentering a mainstream public school, Sarah and Mark label their their relationship while Haddie and Alex grow apart, Julia acts irrationally, and Adam makes plans for the future. 9:00 PM CT NBC

20. Body of Proof. A fatal car crash’s investigation turns up the seedy underbelly of a neighborhood that looks otherwise perfect. 9:00 PM CT ABC

21. Sons of Anarchy. When some of the business goes missing, SAMCRO runs into an unlikely foe. 9:00 PM CT FX

22. Born to Dance: Laurieann Gibson. Season finale. A winner is chosen after the final three perform with Lady Gaga. 9:00 PM CT BET

23. The Rachel Zoe Project. Rachel persuades Joey to make a move to L.A., and Jeremiah is the one behind furnishing RAchel and Rodger’s new place. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

24. Big Hair Alaska. In the first hour hour, four brides and their respective bridal parties arrive at the salon on the same day. In the second half hour, Jessica looks for help with an additional stylist. 9:00 PM CT TLC

25. Top Shot. The teams learn trick shots from a world-famous pistol champion, and compete with the classic cowboy skill of shooting from the hip. 9:00 PM CT History

26. Teen Mom. Amber and Gary work on getting the no-contact order lifted, Maci wants Ryan out of her life, Farrah makes a choice unexpectedly, and Butch moves in with Catelynn and Tyler. 9:00 PM CT MTV

27. Conan. Simon Baker, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Matt Nathanson are the guests tonight. 10:00 PM CT Showtime

28. Web Therapy. Fiona makes connections with a media mogul. 10:00 PM CT Showtime

29. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Tonight’s guests include Gerard Butler, Whitney Cummings, and Kelly Clarkson. 10:35 PM CT NBC

Whats Hot on TV Tonight – Dancing With the Stars Premiere

WHOTV.jpgIt’s the anticipated season premiere of Dancing with the Stars, and with a really exciting cast this season, everyone’s just going to be watching one person – Chaz Bono. And all the people who are saying they won’t watch because of him are just going to cause even more people to watch. Another thing everyone will be watching will be the season premiere of Two and a Half Men with Ashton Kutcher. But you don’t have to miss Charlie Sheen; he’s being roasted tonight on Comedy Central. The comedy writers really didn’t have to work too hard for it, as Charlie pretty much gave them all the material they needed. Catch up on other TV you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. Live with Regis and Kelly. Guests include Tom Selleck, Eddie Cibrian, and Lawrence Zarian. Syndicated, check local listings.

2. The Quiet American. Screen adaptation of Graham Green’s novel starring Brendan Fraser and Michael Caine about a British journalist and American agent in Vietnam. It’s a great commentary of Vietnam from a different perspective. 9:30 AM CT Starz Cinema

3. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Harry Connick Jr. is among the guests which will also include some of the Emmy Award winners. Syndicated, check local listings.

4. Smokey and the Bandit. It’s the original one with Burt Reynolds, Jerry Reed, and Sally Field. I used to watch this tirelessly on HBO. Jerry Reed drives the illegal merchandise in the truck, and Burt Reynolds runs interference in his sports car with girlfriend Sally Field next to him. 4:10 PM CT RetroPlex

5. How I Met Your Mother. Season premiere. In the first half hour, Barney and Ted remember Punchy’s wedding, and Robin think about confessing her feelings. In the second half hour, Marshall fears his past videos will jeopardize his dream job, and Ted needs a date for the architects’ ball. 7:00 PM CT CBS

6. Sing Off. Season premiere. Eight of the groups perform together. 7:00 PM CT NBC

7. Dancing with the Stars. Season premiere. The couples perform for the first time. 7:00 PM CT ABC

8. Hell’s Kitchen. Season finale. The winner is crowned after a final challenge. 8:00 PM CT Fox

9. The Lying Game. A backlash comes of Emma and Ethan’s kiss, and Sutton possibly gets closer to finding out where Annie Hobbes has been. 7:00 PM CT ABC Family

10. Basketball Wives LA. Jackie and Dog get remarried … again, and one of the women goes missing. 7:00 PM CT VH1

11. NFL Football. St. Louis Rams at New York Giants. 7:30 PM CT ESPN

12. Two and a Half Men. Season Premiere. Exit Charlie Sheen; enter Ashton Kutcher. 8:00 PM CT CBS

13. American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior. OCC stars a build for Wyotech, the Gears of War 3 trike comes along, and the PJD group is undermanned 8:00 PM CT Discovery

14. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Adrienne’s family has to make difficult decisions, while Adrienne questions Kim’s sobriety. 8:00 PM CT Bravo

15. The Bad Girls Club. Nastasia wants revenge on whoever destroyed her contact lenses, and Judi wants to send one of the roommates home. 8:00 PM CT Oxygen

16. 2 Broke Girls. Series Premiere. A waitress and formerly wealthy coworker form a new business. 8:30 PM CT CBS

17. Hawaii Five-0. Season PRemire. Awaiting trial for the murder of the Governor, McGarrett gets an unexpected visit; Kono is suspended. 9:00 PM CT CBS

18. The Playboy Club. Series Premiere. A club regular helps a newbie with a dangerous situation, and the general manager of the club tries to prevent the mob from interfering. 9:00 PM CT NBC

19. Castle. Season Premiere. Beckett struggles to survive as Castle identifies the shooter. Ryan and Esposito have to adjust to a new captain. 9:00 PM CT TNT

20. Fashion Police: The 2011 Primetime Emmy Awards. A look at the fashion’s from last night’s awards. 9:00 PM CT E!

21. The Comedy Central Roast. Charlie Sheen is roasted. 9:00 PM CT Comedy Central

22. Most Eligible Dallas. Drew and Courtney try to come to a resolution between them as Drew’s ex spills. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

23. The Joy Behar Show. Rachael Ray, Jermaine Jackson, and Kendra Wilkinson are the guests tonight. 9:00 PM CT HLN

24. Hair Battle Spectacular. The contestants put magic tricks into their designs. 9:00 PM CT Oxygen

25. Weeds. “Qualitative Spatial Reasoning.” 9:00 PM CT Showtime

26. The Big C. On the night before Cathy’s big trip to Italy, Lee gives her a call. Paul finds out one of Myk’s secrets, while Adam finds out one about Poppy. 9:30 PM CT Showtime

27. Conan. Ryan Gosling, Nicole Scherzinger, and Tig Notaro are the guests. 10:00 PM CT TBS

28. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The guests tonight include Simon Cowell, Natasha Leggero, and Selena Gomez. 10:35 PM CT NBC