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Survivor Cagayan Premiere – Eps 1 and 2 – If They Only Had A Brain

As for the rest of the crew…

Brawn Team
Cliff – The former NBA star Cliff Robinson may be the tallest player to play Survivor (someone check the stats). He has instantly become a favorite on the tribe, and barring some big mistakes, is in a good spot. Unless he’s in a boat. Because he will capsize it. And based on his sitting out of the water challenge, he may not be a good swimmer either.

Sarah – She’s a cop, and does mixed martial arts. And she is good at puzzles. Seriously. Watch out for her.

Tony – Another cop even if he refused to admit it to the other cop. Why? No idea. Seemed to be a good fit. I like Tony. He has built a spyshack into the shelter to spy on the others – because why would they notice this little cubby of palm fronds five feet away. I also loved how he was smart enough to search the reward basket for the idol clue and then not only found the idol, but was so happy to do so he began to make out with the thing.

Lindsay – She’s a hairdresser, but a tough brawny hairdresser. She’s also got some crazy hair. Which may help or hurt her business. No idea. I didn’t like her mocking her fellow tribesmate’s teeth, so I am unsure if I am going to hate her or not. And I don’t want to because of the crazy hair and hotness.

Trish – The pilates trainer from Boston could wind up being a lot of fun, but it is equally likely this tribe will toss her aside at their first vote, assuming the Brains manage to not suck for once.

Woo – All we learned about him…he was an actual Cliff Robinson fan. His name is a Ric Flair sound effect. And he too can effectively capsize a boat.

Beauty Team
Morgan – She’s a former cheerleader and thinks she can get whatever she wants from dudes because of her giant chest. And yep, she’s pretty much correct. She actually put out a good lie after she failed to find the idol after being sent ahead to camp with the other “weak” players. Instead of telling them she chose the idol over extra rice, she said she chose the survival kit (essentially given to the tribe) over a comfort kit. Smart. Unless somehow Trish spills the beans on the actual choice presented. I don’t want to like Morgan, but, she’s right about us dudes.

Jeremiah – I can’t like him because of his name. For my whole childhood I hated when people expanded my name out to Jeremiah and sang about me being a bullfrog. Dude, you have a LOT to overcome with me.

Jefra – Already I can’t take her and her name seriously. She’s a three-time runner up of the Miss Kentucky pageant. Um, Jefra, they’re just not that into you. Although, she did begin a discussion with the others wondering how often they’ve peed and pooped. So, she did add that to the national discussion.

Alexis – I wonder how often Alexis has been among people where she is the least hottest of them all? Her contribution this week was to assume she’ll be around for a while because who wants to vote off the hot girl? Another one who has clearly never seen Survivor.

LJ – The horse trainer. He’s the “old” guy according to Morganna. He’s the one who sent her off as the weak link because he trusts cute a lot more than hot. There may be truth in that. He also saved their skins in the second challenge with his puzzle acumen. Or else the Vulcan was just that bad.

Brice – Morganna is in trouble. The only kind of man immune to her T&A is the gay man. And Brice fits the bill with his purple pants. He also seems to have some game, so I already like him. Don’t piss me off, Brice.

Remaining Brains
Tasha – The accountant wants to play Survivor and got stuck on the crappy tribe. I hope she gets a shuffle soon.

Spencer – He tied for first in a chess tourney – what no tiebreakers? He too needs a shuffle.

Vulcan – Wow. She somehow survived a week on the island.

Kass – For a smart lawyer she sure can’t keep her mouth shut.

My early prediction – Sarah, Spencer and Brice make it to the end. Based on what? Nothing. That’s what. Just a feeling.

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