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Survivor: Blood vs. Water – Ep 2 – National Lampoon’s Horrible Vacation

No, Chevy Chase has not found a job after he managed to piss off everyone at Community, the title this week comes from the gay Russell Hantz (according to Aras). Colton is rough to watch – and he often has more stinkers than good lines – but occasionally he manages to squeeze off a good one. And kudos to Aras, who wasn’t ever funny during Exile Island for giving us both the mental image of a gay Russell Hantz, and the mental image of Russell’s head exploding upon being remotely considered gay. No, this line was all about Colton showing that, no, he managed to learn nothing from the last time. He cannot play a different game. He is Russell Hantz – except not successful at Survivor.

Colton decided that his tribe is too nice for his own enjoyment. So he set out to sow discord. He would spread lies about everyone to everyone else. Later, when Kat – who actually was trying to work with him – was talking to him about this and something Tina said, Colton threw a fit and confronted Tina and Kat in night vision with this bit of drama. Tina’s had enough. So the next day she ropes in a five-person alliance with Aras, Gervase, Monica and Tyson. Colton was bitching about too many massage lines and not enough game play…well, you got yourself some game play. Now, he, Kat, and both Lauras are on the outs with this tribe.

Meanwhile, the family team decides that Rachel and her gorgeous eyes will be the next target of the “Five Guys” alliance. Ironic, to have an alliance on a show featuring starvation to share the name with the greasiest, most awesome burger chain in the land. It was clear that a woman would be next, but the selection of Rachel is interesting. Vytas came up with the concept – and it is an interesting one. Vote out someone on your own tribe with the hopes that a strong loved one on the other side will Pull a Rupert and take their place. In the case of Five Guys, you vote out one of your women and you put Tina, Laura or Tyson on the spot. Which is more beneficial to you? Clearly, the chance of Tyson making a dumb mistake is intriguing. It’s not like the guy ever voted himself out of the game before, right?

On RI, Marissa joins Rupert and Candice and fills them in on how much she hates the frowny face votes. Awww L – and about how she got voted out because of Gervase’s taunting. Candice rightfully points out that while Gervase was the excuse, it was her comments to Culpy at the very beginning that got her voted out. She embarrassed him in front of everyone, and he didn’t forget. Good for you, Dr. Candice. Just for that, I’ll root for you in the duel.

Er, the Truel. Because a duel implies two people. Truel is a made up word, for a made up thing. Interesting to see many of the people begin to cry immediately as both tribes filter in to watch the Truel. That’s a good change on RI from the first two times it was used. Candice winks at John to make him realize that she’s fine, while Marissa stares down her old tribe and calls them out for what they did. Gervase sees this as a sign that perhaps he should mend his taunting ways. And when I say that, I mean he did the exact opposite. He vows to rub it in even more going forward. He also chooses not to Pull A Rupert and switch.

The challenge is to use a long grabber thingy that you often see in dollar stores and grab a spool. You move it along a series of wires and stack at the end of the wires on a platform. You do this 10 times without spilling it all and you complete the challenge. First two survive, winner earns an immunity idol clue to be given to anyone they want. Last place, and you’re out. Rupert drops his first one instantly. However, he recovers and he and Candice take the lead and are tied after stacking eight. As Candice places her ninth, Rupert poorly stacks his and the whole thing goes over. The cut away is of Laura looking sad, and Gervase laughing next to her. Laughing! Next to the dude’s wife! This man is in desperate need of tact lessons.

So, Candice finishes, and basically drops the mike. Marissa is on her last one as Rupert is only just getting back to half a stack, and she finishes. Holy crap – Rupert is gone! I only had two episodes to deal with his act! So, Rupert becomes the only person to get eliminated pre-finals – other than for injury, breakdown, or family emergency – without receiving a single vote. Actually, there were two. Paschal and the Purple Rock. Rupert’s insanely bad strategy backfires – stunningly – and he’s the first to go. He’s the anti-Boston Rob. The other four-timer had his worst performance the first time out, before dominating two seasons, winning one of them, and only bowing out early the other time because Tyson’s an idiot. Rupert? Bad strategy each time, or lack of any strategy at all. He will always go down as an all-time fan favorite, but not here. If we can just ditch Colton, and maybe Culpy, early on…well, this could get to be fun.

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