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Survivor: Blood vs. Water – Preview – We Are Family. I’ve Got All My Survivors And Me

Laura Boneham – Age: 44. Lives in Indianapolis, IN. Rupert’s wife – she’s been on the show before thanks to the family visits. Outside of Survivor – Merchandiser. Not sure what that is. I think it may be similar to what Chandler’s job was. She calls Rupert her hero – and great, I get that. And all kidding aside, I respect immensely what Rupert does with his time and his mission in life, but come on, pick someone other than your spouse. She likes to scuba dive, so maybe both Bonehams will be fishing this season. She doesn’t like mean people. Ruh roh. Wrong show. She wants waterproof mascara – um, your eye makeup will be the least of your problems on this island.

Chances of Winning – I’m going to go out on a limb – Laura will outperform Rupert this season. Mark it.

Monica Culpepper – Age: 42 – From Tampa, FL. Outside of Survivor – former NFL wife. That’s in her CBS bio! Former NFL wife. Come on. She also says homemaker, and I respect that, but stop saying NFL wife. Brad’s out of the game. It’s over. I honestly have no idea why she is back – other than luring her ex-football player husband onto the game. Taj George must have been unavailable with her more famous ex-NFL husband. She was the fifth voted out of One World and I have very little to say about her. She’s pretty hot. That’s all I have.

Chances of Winning – It is often the unexpected returnees who do well, and she would fit that role. But I expect nothing.

Brad Culpepper – Age: 44. From Tampa, FL. Outside of Survivor – Attorney and former NFL player. He calls his 21-year marriage his claim to fame. And coming from a man who played professional football, that’s very sweet. Of course, he played for Tampa Bay, so it makes sense now. He thinks he is an outdoorsy type – like Ozzy, Colby and the first Skupin appearance. I assume he means the first Colby too. He lists as his reason for coming on the show – redeeming Monica for being blindsided by Colton. That could be interesting. When asked why he can win, he includes “growing up in a stilt house on Dog Island in the Gulf of Mexico.” So apparently, he is actually a character in a Hemingway book.

Chances of Winning – I think Brad is a much bigger threat than Monica, but I can see him being the one person of them all – maybe Rupert – who would trade places to save their loved one.

Colton Cumbie – Age: 22. From – Collinsville, AL. Outside of Survivor – Student Teacher. Of course, Survivor is bringing back Colton. Of course they are. He may have actually been the most annoying Survivor contestant ever. And that’s saying something. And he was only on six episodes before imploding internally. And yet, he’s back. Boy, I really hope he watched One World so he could see how horrible of a person he was on that season. I am sure he’ll be the same in a lot of ways – but perhaps just a few steps below the intensity he brought the first time.

Chances of Winning – Not a chance. None. Nada.

Caleb Bankston – Age: 26. From Collinsville, AL. Outside of Survivor – Post Office Manager/Farmer. Um, Post Office and Farmer? What’s with this season and the random combining of professions. He is Colton’s fiancé. He’s marrying him. That proves there is someone for everyone. His claim to fame is “shooting 12-point buck” on his first deer hunt. This becoming the first time this has ever been uttered by a gay man in history. He hates people who won’t put down their cell phones. No problem on Survivor. He would bring these three things with him – a duck call, his camouflage Alabama hat and a gallon of sweet tea. He’s a gay version of a character out of a Kid Rock song.

Chances of Winning – He is marrying Colton. That means he can do anything. He may win this thing.

Gervase Peterson – Age: 43. From Philadelphia, PA. Outside of Survivor – Cigar Lounge Owner. He owns what? Seriously, with these professions. Gervase is back after appearing on the iconic first season. He was a Pagong member – the tribe that failed to grasp the need for alliances. They were a fraction of a second away from going into that merge up 6-4, but even if they had, they still would have lost because their votes were all over the place. Gervase was rumored to have been the winner as that show aired before shocking everyone with his seventh place finish. Survivor today is light years from Borneo, so it is hard to gauge how he will adjust.

Chances of winning – I see him as an early out – of course, I didn’t think Skupin could play modern Survivor either, and we all know what happened there.

Marissa Peterson – Age: 21. From Chapel Hill, NC. Outside of Survivor – She is a UNC student. She’s Gervase’s niece and would become the youngest champion should she win this season. She relates to Parvati – but not for the flirting, but for the underestimating. Interesting. She has put herself through college, which is impressive. She idolizes the Mowry sisters, which is not. She is outgoing and passionate and also would like some Chapstick. I sense a product placement episode coming. Being a young player, she is kind of a blank slate. She will be fit enough to compete, but will she be savvy enough to do so? Oh, and she calls her uncle Gerv. Gerv. Now I will too.

Chances of winning – Don’t feel confident. Perhaps a jury placement though.

Laura Morett – Age: 43. From Salem, OR. Outside of Survivor – Co-owner of Morett construction. She was the third jury member on Samoa as part of Russell’s brilliant dismantling of the Galu tribe. The reason she wound up there… her mean girl attitude towards Shambo . She is also heavily religious, so we have that problem, as my dozens of fans know. She is another one who inexplicably gets a return invite. She was not very memorable on Samoa, but must have gotten this call because she was willing to drag along her kid. They are also both very easy on the eyes, so that helped.

Chances of winning – Who knows. She was pretty good at manipulating on Galu, but met her match with Russell. I see no equal in this lot to him, so you never know.

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