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Top Chef Masters Season 5 Ep 3 – Sex. Greed. Murder. And a Purple Shirt.

On the bottom – Canada and Sue. On the top – Neal, Doug and Sang. And for the third time in a row, Sang gets the win. Boy, those orphans are getting lucky. I mean, well, as lucky as you can get. Jeez – I’m falling into some bad territory here – better find a clip from “Annie.”

For the ELIMINATION CHALLENGE – we are going to have the “Days of Our Lives” cast involved in this one. For those who thought Kathie Lee was annoying last week…here’s several Kathie Lees for you. To honor the show’s 12,000th episode – really? – the chefs are getting divided into three plot twist categories. Sex. Greed. Murder. Odette is happy to be in the murder category – and that’s a little scary. She later talks about poison. She scared me a bit.

Canada’s sous chef won the challenge – the Sausage Queen of Chicago. So she is safe. Meanwhile, the three sous chefs who were on the bottom are causing Bot, Cap and Sang to have to endure a handicap for the Elimination. One member from each of the categories will be up for elimination.

Cap seems to be obsessed with foreplay. I mean really obsessed. So obsessed that I need to tip my cap to his very lucky wife. That’s his theme for the sex category. Sang thinks murder and dismemberment go hand in hand – and boy, that’s really just a subset of murder, isn’t it? Doug is using his shrimp to rise up and take over the greedy King Crab and his reign of terror on the dish. Dramatic.

An organ player joins the chefs and at three moments will play some classic soap opera chords and indicate that it is time for the penalties. Bot gets the first one – he has to spend 30 minutes in “prison.” He is happy to be first to be penalized. All he’s done is mise en place. He offers Sang $50 to finish it up. Sang does not. Cap is next and has to spend 30 minutes in a coma. He chooses to be a bit of a chatty coma victim though. Sang then has to be a victim of an attempted murder. This is odd, because Sang is sprawled out in the “crime scene” with some blood all over the desk. Didn’t Stone say “attempted” murder?

The challenge is judged by Stone, Lesley Suter, Gail and Ruth. What happened to Baron Von Sweater? The soap stars are also there to give their “expert” opinions. Sang failed to finish – he’s missing his chicken feet and sauce. Usually that’s the kiss of death. Not this time.

Jennifer’s looks amazing – she has a knife sticking out of the meat. Ruth felt it was like duck a la orange. Odette’s is out of the Borgias story and uses mushrooms as “poison.” This dish is one of her signature dishes, but the soap stars seem to be taken aback by its oozing. It also has bland issues. Sang’s looks really good, Stone loves the salty skin, but one of the actors didn’t care much for it. Cap’s foreplay is loved by the women. Good for him. Neal has a ménage a trois on his plate – Ruth thinks the red snapper was overmatched by the sauce. He should’ve stayed with the twosome. Canada went for a “snuggle” after the act- she wrapped duck with bacon and chocolate. Stone thought it was just too much. Bot went with sustainability and made salty shrimp in the end. Stone liked it though. Sue’s crabs and caviar was perfect Thailand. Doug had too much, and Suter didn’t get it.

Elimination Dishes:
Cap
Burke
Canada
Odette
Neal
Jennifer
Doug
Bot
Sang
Sue

Our winners – Sue, Jennifer and Cap. Jennifer earns the win for her charity – Work Options for Women.

On the bottom – Doug, Canada and Odette. That’s bad for Doug and Odette as Canada is immune. Hers needed to lose the carrots, according to Gail. It had a spongy texture. Odette’s showed skill, but was missing something. Doug had too much going on. In the end, Odette gets taken out despite making her signature dish.

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