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Top Chef Masters Season 5 Ep 3 – Sex. Greed. Murder. And a Purple Shirt.

Another week, another delayed blog posting. This time, my excuse was a good one…if you are a TV fanatic. I’ve been binge watching “Breaking Bad.” All the while trying not to live a life where the ends justify the means. Yo.

Also, I am going to start trying to streamline my columns, and a big part of that is going to be the elimination of listing all of the dishes. It is just too time consuming, and the Bravo site does a good job in showing all of the dishes, complete with a fancy schmancy photo of each. So, if you want to see all of the dishes in their delicious glory each week, click away. I will just post winners and losers.

Speaking of winners, this episode was dominated by one obvious winner – and that winner was Stone’s purple shirt. Whoa, doctor! That was one impressive piece of men’s wear. I had to adjust my color settings on the TV. Prince called and wanted to know where Stone found a brand new shade of purple.

Also winning this week? Dishes with huge knives sticking out of them. But that’s for discussion in a few moments. First, we go to our….

QUICKFIRE CHALLENGE

The sous chefs competed online in a challenge to make sausage. Here in Washington, DC, making sausages is something you can unfortunately watch on C-SPAN on a daily basis, and is in a large part the reason the U.S. Congress has an approval rating barely ahead of many reality stars. However, in this case it is literal sausage making. What they didn’t know was that their leftover scraps were going to be the main ingredient for their Masters to use for their dish. They had 30 minutes to cook, and had $5,000 on the line.

Cap had venison scraps, Neal started bragging about his package. Yikes – no sausage jokes please. Sue had pork on the bone. Again…please refrain. The Bot talked about hunting in rural Maryland and elected to make his dish a hunting theme – so he added coffee soil. Um, yuck. He has also never won a Quickfire before. I think that adding stuff you normally throw away from your morning cup of Joe is not a good way to end that streak. Might as well add a banana peel and egg shells while he’s at it. Jennifer seems to be cutting up a dishtowel in the pasta cutter. This is a strange one.

Stone brings in two ladies – Amelia and Erica – from the LA-based butcher store “Lindy & Grundy.”
Sang says they know a lot about meat. Goodness, I hope so. I want my butcher to know about meat the same way I want my urologist to know about…well…again, let’s refrain from sausage-making jokes.

During the tasting, Stone called Neal’s (which looked amazing to me) “aggressively seasoned.” Doug’s was a nice pairing, with a lot of fat on the duck. That just sounds like it should be a euphemism for something, doesn’t it? I thought Canada’s looked great, but it was called “very rich.” Sue had a huge amount of bread. Again with the bread, Sue? Meanwhile, Bot’s venison/coffee grounds/granola combo seemed to, well, not impress. Burke’s was in need of salt, while Sang’s huge lettuce leaf and simple dish was ballsy and impressed the butchers and the Purple Shirt.

Quickfire Dishes:
Cap
Burke
Canada
Odette
Neal
Jennifer
Doug
Bot
Sang
Sue

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