home Racing Amazing Race 22 – Ep 7 – License And Registration Please

Amazing Race 22 – Ep 7 – License And Registration Please

Needless to say, I was a bit peeved to see a team which I thought was starting to roll, AND a team for which I finally found a good nickname, managed to mangle the Detour so badly that they got themselves booted from the Race before the Mullets or YouTube. I had high hopes for Pwinnie – the Amazing Race has a great history of great kick-ass female teams, but the list of those great teams is just too small. Beauty Queens. Kisha/Jen. Knat. Pwinnie seemed like they could have joined that list.

Ah, but to be done in by a black cardboard cutout of a jungle animal. Alas.

It came down to this – the Detour had teams decide between leading a pack of donkeys to haul wood or to ride horses on a “safari” and spot 10 cutouts of jungle animals and then list them in order using tiles depicting the images. Both were fairly easy and straight forward tasks – except you had to make sure you saw and remembered all 10 animals and you had to get the donkeys started.

To me, the donkey task seemed the tough one. Donkeys are not the easiest animals to get along with. Just ask Shrek. The trick of the horse task was just to pay attention and split the memorization. Unfortunately, these are tired teams and Pwinnie had the misfortune of missing one of the cutouts. The final cutout was of a hippo with a bird sitting on top of its head. They rationalized their miss of the ninth animal by saying this hippo accounted for two animals, and thus their 10 was complete. Even when they had to go back and do it again – they still missed it and still used this logic. They must have thought their problem was in the ordering. By the time they failed the second time, the die was cast. They flipped the Detour but were woefully behind and doomed for last.

Their failure led to some relieved looks on the faces of the Newlyweds and YouTube – each of whom struggled mightily this leg with directions and with unforced errors. As did Underwood. It was one of those legs where most teams really were just trying hard to eliminate themselves. It reminded me of the AR3 leg in Spain where multiple teams put gasoline in their diesel tanks and thought they were dead. Just tons of errors this week.

The best one was the speed trap. To be perfectly honest, after watching Underwood and the Newlyweds fall victim to the Botswana police force needing to meet their ticket quota, I began thinking…it is amazing that this hasn’t happened more often. I mean, think of your own neighborhood – how many times have you and your friends gotten nailed by speed traps or hidden cameras? And you know the roads!! Plus you’ve likely gotten more than a few winks of sleep in two weeks and don’t have the pressure of racing for a million bucks on TV to worry about. You’re just trying to get home in time before The Bachelor starts.

Underwood was probably stunned they actually got the ticket. Not many police forces in the US would let the two tall, young blondes in form fitting jumpsuits open their checkbooks. If they were paying the bill, you know Max had no chance, even if he unleashed Katie on them. The teams had to actually pay right then and there and go to the police station. I guess they were a big flight risk for the court date. It seems the Newlyweds had enough local money to pay it, but Underwood didn’t. That made things awkward – Caroline was in the station and couldn’t leave. That meant Jennifer had to find someone willing to take $100 bucks and go exchange the money for them. That’s a lot of trust. They had no choice since team members cannot separate that far from each other. Luckily for them, the good Samaritan came back.

Max and Katie had no issues paying the bill, but that telephone pole sure had a lot to say about things. Max plowed right into it and would likely be paying his body shop a great deal of cash if it was his own car. Between the directions argument to start the leg, the ticket and the fender bender, Max was having some issues. And Katie was being the perfect backseat driver. I felt for Max here – this happens to me in the car sometimes. Once I make an error, I am extra susceptible to making another.

I should add, kudos to Wynona for warning her husband about speeding. No tickets for them.

YouTube just made the old fashioned wrong turn and went way out of their way. They were very lucky everyone else had troubles – I mean they were in the bushes and in someone’s backyard at one point. Their last minute donkey race with the Newlyweds must have been dreadful for those teams realizing they were likely racing for last. Of course, they weren’t. We knew that, but they sure didn’t. I must add, that a Newlyweds/YouTube feud will get tiresome fast. Oh wait, yep, it is officially tiresome. Man, that was pretty fast.

And now we are down to six teams – and can you tell me who deserves to win? I know. Pretty hard. The early legs were essentially dominated by the Dudes, Ribbon and Pwinnie. All eliminated. I’d say Slap Shot is a huge favorite right now because of the physical advantage. Mentally? Well, they play a sport for a living where hard concentrated rubber is often batted around at great speeds near your head. But they are probably the frontrunner now. The other teams, well, I am stunned YouTube and the Mullets are still alive. Underwood is pretty underwhelming. Newlyweds barely survived a non-elim. And the Derby Moms keep plugging along. Not exactly an All-Star season. No?

Fast Forward – Slap Shot got to the task first and grabbed up the Fast Forward. They had to waterski for one mile – and really ski, not get dragged – through crocodile waters. Now, if they were ever remotely near a real croc, I’d be stunned. But, nevertheless, they managed to do it on the first try. Granted, I think that boat could have gotten a ticket for going to slowly, but still. Task completed and first place granted.

Roadblock – Deliver two goats upriver in a traditional canoe-like boat. The Roadblocker had to gather up the goats and row the boat. The teammate held the goats and rode. Goats and camels are comic gold on The Amazing Race, and it paid off with the hysterical face off between the goats and Wynona. I was initially surprised to see the goats calmly riding the boats with the teams, but then remembered, you know, the crocs.

Wynona and Beth each struggle with the rowing, while my favorite was Caroline’s expression of excitement over the cute goats gradually disappear replaced with grim determination to capture them. I did kind of love the death lock that Jennifer had on the goats. Some comedy from Wynona sitting down will rowing with the long staff (shut up, I know what I said), and Joey actually using it as a kayak paddle!

Speed Bump – Newlyweds had to finish making and wear a beaded skirt and take part in a ceremonial seduction dance. Basically, Max and Katie had to shake their asses for a few minutes while wearing a grass skirt. And scene.

DetourBrains or Brawn. Brains was the horse and cutout task. Brawn the donkey and wood in the cart task. I said it before – the horses seemed the better option.

Sorry to see Pwinnie go – but as Pam eloquently said…Crying is for bitches. Boom.

Route Markers
• Bates sure likes to whisper the word, “Africa,” doesn’t he?
• Bates is also getting a bit too into himself – tone it back a bit, my friend. You’re not going to be threatening Ryan Gosling for magazine covers anytime soon, so chill with the boasting.
• I am actually pretty surprised it took this many legs for Underwood to start dropping some theist remarks. As loyal readers know, I can do without those. Now.
• I don’t know why, but I was surprised to see Bates unable to ski, since he can skate. Seems like the balance factor would be the same.
• And notice Anthony removed his teeth before skiing? Smart. Wouldn’t want to lose the plate in a croc ski accident.
• So close and yet…Pam was hopping up and down with excitement upon reading the Fast Forward.
• Things you never want to say to your wife on national TV, Chuck, “Spread your legs wide.” I mean, you are making the snark easy with that.
• Although I did love how they knew none of the animals but still got the task right. I mean, a groundhog?!?
• Can we talk about Joey’s pants and high socks? On second thought, let’s ignore them and hope they go away.

Detour – Horse group was Mullets and Pwinnie. However, Pwinnie flipped to the Goats to join Underwood, Derby Moms, YouTube and Newlyweds

Roadblock – Goats and Boats. Winnie, Wynona, Beth, Caroline, Joey, Max.

Order of Finish – Slap Shot ($7500 each), Derby Moms, Underwood, Mullets, YouTube, Newlyweds, and Pwinnie (ELIMINATED)

Next Week – We come to Switzerland and redo the cheese wheel roll. This time with snow.

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