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Amazing Race 22 – Ep 2 – Where Do They Find These Teams?

Except there may be new drama next week as Daddy Ribbon seems to have “ruptured” his Achilles tendon racing to the mat on bare feet on beach sand. He did seem to be in a bit of pain – but from what little I know of these injuries, a ruptured Achilles would mean he was in a LOT of pain. It is more likely he has a severe sprain – or bad tendonitis. As someone who currently has Grade One tendonitis, I can say it hurts like hell and feels like an Achilles injury.

But let’s say it is a rupture, which will effectively end their run on the show. We may get some propped up drama, a la the Hairs and their passport last season, this week as they try to make it work, but that would end them. That means the Dudes will have nothing to worry about and could dole out that XP to whomever they want, or not at all.

All this for an Express Pass. Put the same scenario into Survivor regarding the Hidden Immunity Idol and we are talking about something good.

As for the Race itself, we stay in Bora Bora and have some fairly contained tasks. The morning water taxi cuts down on the deficit for the two surviving canoe teams from last week – they trail by 90 minutes when they hit the course. The teams go first to a Wedding Chapel to go through a blessing ceremony – a bit strange for the sibling and parent/child team, but whatever. At least we are spared from any team bristling over doing anything religious apart from their own religious beliefs. It also gives a chance to see Racers go the rest of the day with leaves tied around parts of their bodies.

Next they have the water-based Detour. In one, they have to get the aforementioned pearls out of the oysters. In the other, they wear one of those head tanks that every resort has for walking on the ocean floor. You can breathe in it, even though it feels pretty weird when you submerge. While on the bottom, you have to take a trunk and set up a table, chairs and place settings for an underwater picnic dining experience. As one tends to do from time to time. Of the first wave of teams, only the Derby Moms do this one before Uterus eventually flips. Both late running teams head to this challenge as well – with the Honeymooners wisely keeping Team Underwood under a watchful eye.

Teams leave the Detour via Jet Ski and head to Motu Tapu, the most photographed island in the South Pacific. The Roadblock puts Racers on stilts and requires them to essentially dribble a coconut across a makeshift field. If you fall of the stilts, you have to go back to the start, but the coconut can stay where you left it. Slap Shot rocks the challenge and powers to the first place finish. Ribbon and Dudes also do well and pass Joey YouTube who struggles to stay on the stilts. My favorite part was when Pam, who had all kinds of trouble keeping her balance, fell off the stilts with the coconut mere inches from the Finish Line. It didn’t much matter as they were never in the same frame as Uterus, so they survive the week, but probably not with much drama.

Route Markers
• Dude John – “It’s a Race, not an honesty contest.” All it needs is a “Dammit Jim…”
• YouTube started off in sixth and must have had an amazing water taxi driver as they arrive at the Wedding Chapel in the lead.
• Love the goofy Phil shots – so him, in the tank helmet, was awesome.
• Ribbon became the first team to fail to read their clue this season as they hightail it away from the chapel, to the taxi and a ½ mile out to sea to dive. Except the gear was still at the chapel. Thankfully for them, they had the Roadblock penalty teams and the flailing Uterus on this leg to help overcome the error. They also rocked the challenges and actually finished higher in the standings this week before dad got hurt.
• Did Mona really make a 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea reference?
• Wet mullet. Hard to get better than that.
• Pam/Winnie are also afraid of the ocean. Two teams out of 11 on the Amazing Race afraid of the friggin’ ocean.
• Nice of Wynona to actually dive in and help eventually. She was basically turning this task into a Roadblock for the Mullet Man.
• Why would teams shuck the oyster in the water? How inefficient. And what about the oyster meat? What a waste of deliciousness. And what a missed opportunity for a Top Chef challenge!
• Team Underwood left the Mat over six hours after the Dudes left the Mat.
• Did you see how Chuck pulled his wife into the boat? And where he grabbed her? I’ll just say that it was by the paint. If you change one letter. I’m trying to forget that image.
• Love the Richard Simmons reference, regarding Joey YouTube. I miss Richard’s many Letterman appearances.

Detour Oysters – Dudes, Slap Shot, Ribbon, P/W, YouTube, Mullet, Uterus (at first). Picnic – Derby Moms, Underwood, Honeymooners and Uterus.

Roadblock – Stilt soccer. Anthony, Joey, Jessica, Connor, Chuck, Beth, Pam, Max, Caroline, One of the Twins (no idea, nor do I care at this point)

Order of Finish – Slap Shot (Trip to London), Ribbon, Dudes, YouTube, Mullets, Derby Moms, Underwood, Honeymooners, P/W and Uterus (ELIMINATED).

Next Week – We deal with Ribbon Dad’s injury and return to Middle-Earth.

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