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Lights! Camera! Action! – The Simple Life, Episode 5

Lights, Camera, Action! – The Simple Life, Episode 5

By: Chloe

The first shot is of the Eisner family peeking out the window at their approaching guests, Nicole and Paris. With their backs to the camera, they watch the dogs scamper around in the front yard. Andy Eisner, Dad, thinks if the dog poops in the yard, his neighbors will scoop it up and sell it on EBay. It’s the American Way!

In a side interview, Andy warns of foul language and a loud obnoxious family. Oooo, goodie! This could be exciting…not! Yawn! The family consists of a mom who fades into the background, one teenage girl who fades with her, a pre-teen drum playing son and a little show-off baby brother. Within a few minutes of Paris and Nicole’s arrival, the drummer is giving a rock concert to polite onlookers, Paris and Nicole. The little show-off models his Michael Meyers mask, slaps himself and then falls to the floor, all in an attempt to impress Nicole and Paris. Cute, but the dead air space in between his antics is painful. Nighty-night, baby brother!

The following morning, Paris and Nicole slump into a local news station to intern at the ungodly hour of 5:30. Gasp! Believe me, they look like they just rolled out of bed and left the hairbrush at home.

The first task is to write a spot on the Great American Smoke-out, to which Paris wonders, “What is the Great American Smoke-out?” We see another look of stunned amazement from yet another employer. Don’t they watch this show? Okay, sorry! I had a moment there.

They whip out the spot and the talking heads run through it quickly. Meanwhile, Paris and Nicole assist the cameramen and queue the talking heads. They do this by waving their hands around and dancing.

Next, they are sent to the control room to handle the teleprompter. They realize its great fun to speed up the prompter and see how fast the talking heads can keep up. This goes okay until the boss gets irritated and takes them off of it.

Steve, the weather man, takes over Paris and Nicole’s training from there. He guides them through the displays of the weather statistics and takes their word processing blunders well.

Later that day at the Eisner house, the girls decide to give makeovers to the boys. The parents agree, not realizing what will happen to their babies.

The kids get the full treatment of hair styling, coloring (in primary colors), clothes and ear piercing – not the baby, just the drummer.

Reception back at the Eisner house is a little lukewarm to say the least. They’re not overly enthusiastic to see their babies turned into punk rockers! No big! A little water, scissors and ditching the earring and they’re back to normal.

At the TV station the next morning, Paris gets to be the new weather girl. In her runway model outfit including her purse, which she will not let loose, Steve, the weatherman, trains her on the weather screens. In her charming, airhead way she actually does a good job.

After two minutes, she is bored though and decides to play matchmaker for Steve, the weatherman, by holding his picture up to the camera and announcing his availability. Poor man! He completely loses it and the sweat begins to pour. He is completely nerved out now, which doesn’t get better as the phones ring off the hook with prospective dates.

Paris and Nicole earn a good report from their station boss and receive $100 each. It’s back to the Eisner house for goodbyes.

The girls feel bad about the makeovers that went awry, so they cut a bit of hair from their own heads and put it into a locket for the drummer son. For the little show-off they give him bronzer makeup. Baby bro’ is touched and gives them a framed school picture in return.

And it’s on the road again…

I welcome your comments! Chloe@realityshack.com

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