While the other three ran off to find Da Vinci’s resting place (Which I assume will be part of the next Dan Brown book), the Twins have to do a Speed Bump. For this task, they have to torture a poor French woman. Um, I mean they have to lace up a corset on a woman pretending to be French aristocracy. At one point, they dig a knee into the small of the poor woman’s back, which I think I saw The Undertaker do at Wrestlemania 25.
Detour – Chow or Plow. Either make dog food for a pack of hunting dogs or plow a field using a horse and cart. I would do the dog food in a heartbeat, and not solely because of the awesome scene where the dogs haul ass and fall over themselves to eat the line of food. But because it seems like it would be quicker, a lot more fun, and full of a lot less mud. The Goats had a great strategy of slicing the pieces of meat that don’t have bones, and yapping with the Twins to throw them off. As Josh said, “alliances don’t matter when you’re knee deep in hamburger patties.”
Roadblock #1 – Who’s a fun guide? Nice one, Race. Racers have to go into caves and identify three different kinds of mushrooms and gather 10 pieces of each one. The trick is that there are tons of different mushrooms groups in the caves and from time to time the lights go out. But the big part of note here is that the Twins pass the Goats with the fungus finding and leave for the Pit Stop ahead. But it was bad navigation that puts the Twins behind the boys – some might say it was Race karma – and leads to their elimination.
Coney Island – Magic Mike and Texas get there first and can’t figure it out. They actually wind up going into the park – we don’t see if they ride the Cyclone. It is actually Lexi who figures it out first, while the Goats seemingly catch on once Trey suggests writing down the clue. Magic Mike struggles badly and fall into a hole which leaves them lagging the rest of the leg until James’ catches up during the flags.
Roadblock #2 – The straight jacket. Trey nails it first, realizing the key is to get your arms over your head and then methodically freeing yourself. Brent struggles a little bit, while Y seemingly yawns and the thing falls off. The biggest casualty of the challenge – Trey’s Texas headband falls off and likely found its way to the bottom of the river.
Lombardi’s – Texas delivers the really delicious looking pies easily, but Josh picks the wrong pizzas for two of the locations. And then Brent gives him crap about it in a very passive aggressive, long time relationship kind of way.
Roadblock #3 – United Nations. Lexi thinks the logo is a target. Sigh. They arrive with a huge lead and confident that their ample notes will do the trick. Unfortunately, they didn’t pay attention to the greeters. I wonder, again, why no one had guide books. Those books usually give you the basics in the various languages – at the bare minimum for Spanish, French, Russian, Dutch, or in other words, places often visited. Maybe Bangladesh would be hard to find – but come on. The teams all get Spain and France easy enough, and then Josh nails China, the Netherlands and Russia which puts him ahead and becomes the key turning point on the Race. Lexi breaks down, allowing James to pass her. Over two and a half hours later, Josh finishes first, with James seemingly not far behind.
The Goats shout for an IPhone as they search for a cab to Gotham Hall. It’s a shame they weren’t still in Chinatown – you could get one for really cheap there. Also, part of me wanted Gotham Hall to be a set from Batman. The Goats don’t lose the lead and cross the Finish Line. Abbie looks like she’s about to burst. Ryan and the Twins are also super excited. It is much more muted when the other teams come across – especially from Apprentice. Wounds were still pretty fresh, one would imagine.
Finally, the Goats kiss. On camera. On primetime CBS. We have come a long way from Season 1 where the Guidos could not. Good job, America.
Now for Winners’ Rankings – skip the next page if you don’t want to be spoiled on past Races.