So, the Race. If you didn’t really get an understanding of the hole Apprentice and Goats were in thanks to the airport madness on the way to Russia – Magic Mike left at 7:32 pm. Seventeen minutes later, Texas went and about 90 minutes later the Twins departed. Apprentice left over nine hours after the Twins. And the Goats went three and a half hours after Apprentice. So the Goats left more than 12 hours after Magic Mike -even airport scrambling couldn’t make up that gap.
That multi-hour gap between Apprentice and Goats also gives you a sense of what happened to Apprentice in Frankfurt (seriously guys – break the curse. Your next vacation is to Frankfurt – get right on that horse!). The missed connection – and I am still unsure what really happened there. Were they unable to work some Uchenna magic to get the doors to open? I don’t know. But they wisely had booked a backup connection thanks to their previous Frankfurt airport misery. Incredibly, that plane broke and they had to wait around for a new one. The Race Gods clearly had other ideas for Apprentice.
So, the teams depart and are given a flag to figure out which new location to head to – Magic Mike finds a computer. Smart. It is Holland and a trip to Amsterdam – also known as the Place To Get Pot Before Denver and Seattle Became Options. Texas asks their cabbie – who tells them to go to France. Heh. Computer or random guy? Which is the better way to find info? Y tells them they are wrong at the airport – strange decision to make at this time of the Race. Why not let another team fly to the wrong city?
The Twins elect to book a flight with a very short transfer time in Rome – and do not pay the price. Big move with high risk which enables them to hit Holland first and go for the Fast Forward.
Fast Forward – They make their way to the Van Gogh Café and board a bus called the Floating Dutchman. This is basically a “duck tour” which anyone who lives in an Eastern seaboard city is familiar with. It seems the Twins have never heard of this business as they are stunned when it goes in the water. The challenge is to eat a plate of herring (10 fish) in seven minutes while the bus is in the water. If they fail, the bus goes back to the start and they have a chance to try again. Is this the regular tour? That would be a strange attraction for tourists.
Magic Mike tried to do the FF, but upon seeing the Twins went back to the boats for the regular tasks. First, find another boat and have snacks. Yum. Then the Detour.
Detour – Back in Time or Organ to Grind – I was hoping Back in Time would involve making time travel possible, or something with Huey Lewis, but instead it was to make a tableau of human extras into a Rembrandt photo, with the Racers serving as two of the people, and doing it to the liking of a Rembrandt impersonator. Organ had the Racers operate a street organ – one cranking it and the other begging for 30 Euros.
Magic Mike made the correct choice by having Y doing the begging – dude has serious people skills. When it slowed down, they broke out the bowties, took off the shirts and got tons of donations. Mostly from dudes, this, well, was unexpected. Lots of camera phones made appearances, and some granny had way too much fun paying attention to Y. Texas did the same task and had Lexi screaming at the Dutch until they paid her to stop.
Roadblock – It is a Switchback to the Season 12 Switchback where Nicholas and Donald struggled. And I mean, Donald struggled. Everyone remembers poor naked and muddy Grandpa Donald failing over and over again to pole vault over the muddy water. Now teams get to do it again. Spoiler alert – no one struggled much. Josh did a bit, and it looks like he may have hurt himself a bit based on the previews, but no Donald issues at all.
• Moscow has more billionaires than any other city. Could you imagine the Super PACs there?
• Loved Ryan’s “we’re gold” claim after booking the connections and Abbie’s fourth wall breaking look of doubt.
• It is a good thing the Twins ate the fish in time, if they failed, I imagine they would have had to either wait for Magic Mike to have a turn, or they would have boarded the bus at the same time and raced each other to eat the fish.
• Ryan – I hate Frankfurt, and frankfurters, and Frankenstein. HA! Abbie – Quite frankly, we got…franked. DOUBLE HA!! No word yet on the status of Frankenweenie.
• Nice Phil dance with the Twins little first place shimmy
• Why was Phil whispering during the Double U-Turn explanation?
• Is it me or did the names Apprentice and the Goats gave to the “actors” sound a lot like the roster Captain America villains? Red Sash. Gold Helmet. Turquoise Girl.
• Trey – “I’m like a pole vaulter or something.” Oh, the wit of Trey.
• Brent to Josh at the Roadblock – “It’s just like when you were a kid!” What was Josh doing as a kid that involved ditch vaulting?
Roadblock – Pole vaulting – James, Trey, Josh and Ryan
Detour – Magic Mike and Texas crank the organ. Apprentice and the Goats Rembrandt it. Apprentice also cranks the organ.
Order of Finish – Twins ($5k each), Magic Mike, Texas, Goats, Apprentice (ELIMINATED)
Next week – Spain. Josh can’t play tennis. Texas tries to bullfight, and Lexi starts to cry.