OK, so that was harsh. So let’s talk about more fun things instead. I’ve outlined what I didn’t like about one team, so now, some good things about the other eight.
Apprentice – They seem to be having fun and are pretty good at Racing so far. Not sure about the whole grabbing your lady in a headlock thing, but whatever. If it makes them happy and no one gets hurt.
Texas – I’ll say this about Team Texas, Lexi’s got some spunk. While she may not have ever waited tables in her life, I still have no idea how she wore that giant lion’s head on that tiny body for so long.
Magic Mike – Not sure how I really feel about these guys yet. One minute they are charming, the next minute Y is incredibly annoying. But I will say this – I think the rest of the Racers are going to regret their comeback in the first episode because they are going to be hard to knock out.
Hairs – I’m digging these guys, they are mellow, they don’t take themselves too seriously and seem to be racing at a different pace than the others. It’s very Team Cha Cha Cha of them. And anyone who can make me remember the Chas are friends of mine.
Goats – So far they haven’t really gotten a lot of attention, but they probably should. They are always good for a quip and some cheery dispositions. Josh – “We’re farmers, we know fresh eggs. These were laid this morning.” Wouldn’t we all like to be laid this morning?
Twins – See everything I said about Magic Mike. Basically, with the Twins, they remind me of some classic TV characters…Kramer, Ron Swanson, Norm, Klinger, etc. They are great in the small bursts on their shows, but if you based a show around them…well, it would be way too much. That’s the Twins. At least for this week, they didn’t get on my nerves, perhaps because they were not the featured team. Let’s see what happens as they advance this season and there are fewer teams to share time with. One thing is for certain…this is a strong team. They showed that by overcoming some adversity following their near miss with the early train.
Truckers – Um…something nice. Well, they don’t seem to be mean to each other. That’s what I got. Move along.
Fantasy Island – If they can survive, they could be Ken/Gerard kinds of fun. The unlikely physical team making it deep in the Race and being fun and snarky all the while. My favorite moment for them was upon learning of the U-Turn, they incredulously wondered why. Will said, “We’re not considered a strong team.” Gary added back, “No, we’re not.” Aww…self-awareness mixed with self-deprecating humor. That’s a fine combination.
As far as the leg of the Race, this was one without major bunching as there was no airport moment. We had a midway partial bunching, which is fine. At least it divides up teams and grants better slots for merit on the Roadblock and previous leg, while giving the bottom teams a fighting chance at survival. For those interested, only about 90 minutes separated the Twins and Fantasy Island in the previous leg, no clue how far behind Amy and Dan were from them.
Not a big fan of the Roadblock, which was rather dull and boring and way too simple.
All they had to do was balance a bunch of plates and serve them. Anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant or served a full house of guests could have done this. However, I did love that the show managed to get one of the locals to stage a giant accident of smashing dishes. Opa! Only Lexi and Brent had any issues with the plates and the task only served as a time waster to keep teams from potentially making the early train. If they failed? Well, that’s a three hour delay. A three hour delay.
Detour – Lion’s Head or Egg’s Head. In Lion’s Head, teams do a Japanese lion dance (never knew there was one!), with giant forty pound lion heads on their shoulders. They had to go through a parade and do some dance moves and be done. The hardest part? In order to balance the head on their shoulders they had hold it by a mouthpiece. Um. Wow. Ugh. Yuck.
In Egg’s Head, teams seriously have this to do. Really. Have a husked coconut lit on fire on their head in order for someone to fry two eggs. Then they have to each eat the eggs. Why anyone would choose to do the Lion, I have no idea. Because, um, free eggs.
• My favorite Twins moment on the Race so far…Nadiya taking an extra moment at the U-Turn mat. Not for strategy or anything, but to see what picture of them they were using. Amusing vanity. That’s always enjoyable.
• I grant them all passes for not being able to pronounce that restaurant’s name.
• Goats think all of the Alpha Teams are too focused on winning. The rest are doing their best. Um, Goats. You should be focused on winning since that is the actual purpose of competing in a race.
• I like how a train vendor came by with the clues – I actually thought it might have been tougher to find. Good job teams.
• One team – not sure which one, but I think it was Texas – sounded like they asked for two tickets to Bangles. And if Susannah Hoffs is on the other side, I’m with you Texas.
• Twins’ code word for relax is “chataranga” – my question, what’s wrong with relax? Why can’t relax be the word they use for relax? How is this something that needs a secret code?
• Things you don’t like to hear at the train station when you ask what time your train leaves, “Now.”
• Why did the chicken cross the Indonesian railroad? To avoid being yelled at by the Blondes.
• So, the woman on the train who gave the front runners the stats on the train departure? Gorgeous, and all we could see was her face. But that woman, in the US, would be in magazines.
• Love the Chipmunks nickname for Magic Mike. But I am sticking with Magic Mike.
• Boy, it must really, really be hot there. I was sweating just watching them sweat.
• Magic Mike doing serious double entendre comedy at the Detour. “It’s sitting on your face, in your mouth.” “I don’t know how many dudes have had their mouth on this.”
• But the best line there – “I can taste Indonesia…and 900 years of culture.”
• Did that guy husk a coconut with his mouth? Get him on Survivor!
• Why does Texas see Apprentice as a threat because they can win $2 million? How does that affect their game? Apprentice is a threat because they won two of the first three legs. That’s more accurate.
• Be Dipherent. Hi Fil. Nice.
• I love how Gary handed a wad of cash to the “driver” so he could pedal faster. Dude was probably thinking, “Thanks, but I could use a tag team partner instead”
• “You just cost us the Race, bro.” Shut. Up. Brittany. And, no, you weren’t going to win anyway. Bro.
Roadblock – Serve plates. Lexi, Jaymes, Ryan, Brent, Nadiya, Hair James, Rob, Gary
Detours – Lion – Texas, Apprentice, Magic Mike, Hairs, Truckers, Blondes. And Egg – Goats and Fantasy Island.
Order of Finish – Apprentice (with a trip to Fiji), Texas, Magic Mike, Hairs, Goats, Twins, Truckers, and Blondes (ELIMINATED)
Next week – Bangladesh looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in a century.