But the action, once again, was on Matsing. After a disastrous week on the island, the Tribe of Four returned from voting out Roxy with Angie and Malcolm determined to cut out the snuggling which put them both on the hot seat. What they didn’t think to do? Tie down the raft. It seems that tribe’s energy was so awful, even inanimate objects fled. The tribe dynamic has come down to Malcolm and Denise as an alliance, with Angie snuggling as close, and as clueless as she can get. Swan is on the outside looking in, while he plays by far the worst game of the three returnees.
When the challenge began, I instantly predicted in my notes that Matsing would lose again. They were unable to sit anyone, while Katie, Dawson, Abi and Blair all sat out. This meant we had a physical swimming challenge featuring Angie. She did not fail to disappoint. She went out to the rope in order to swim down to the first of eight puzzle pieces in about two feet of water. And she failed miserably. After Swan went out for the second one and struggled to actually climb the ladder out of the water, it became the Malcolm and Denise show. However, this was not before Angie was asked point blank if she could go out for another attempt. She clearly said that she couldn’t. Remember that.
So, despite Swan failing to get more than one, and Angie barely getting one, Matsing was still trying solve the puzzle at the same time as the other tribes, albeit behind in time. But of course, it was to no avail. They were done again, and on their way to Tribal Council. It became a choice of whether or not they wanted to oust the weaker Angie, or the outsider Swan. As soon as the sad piano music began we knew that we were going to get some poignant Swan introspection. Yes, Brandon fans, Swan talked to God. Just in case you were wondering if the Big Guy wasn’t invested in this season. And yes, he managed to equate his upcoming Tribal Council performance to that of his ancestors dealing with slavery and Jim Crow laws. But, I won’t mock that! Why? Because I have Angie.
The Queen of Platitudes spent her time trying to deny what we saw on subtitles – that she quit on the challenge. I counted five different times in about 30 minutes of airtime that Angie tried to convince the other three that she did not say what we all saw her say. And at Tribal Council, Matsing decided that even though Swan is completely useless in the water, at least he can do more than Angie. Look at me! I didn’t make a floatation device joke! Um, well, I guess that was a floatation device joke. Aw damn.
Anyway, the show just got a whole lot less pretty with Angie’s departure, and a whole lot more competent. Oh Angie, you’re beautiful, but ain’t it time we said goodbye?
Treemail Top 10
• Can we have a moratorium on “throw under the bus” in reality shows? Please! I must say, how did that expression really start. Was there an epidemic years ago of tossing people underneath mass transit?
• At this point, I am hoping for a tribe shuffle for Penner, for RC and for the poor remaining souls on Matsing. I am also now convinced that RC, Denise and Kent, if permitted to remain on the show, could develop into stellar Survivor players.
• Wise PBP line (I know – stunning) – The alliance is only as strong as the day it was made. Many, many Survivors have fallen because they believed in an alliance which had crumbled without their knowledge.
• Nice sitcom humor from Denise calling back to Malcolm in the Middle. Who knew that dad would move on to cooking up meth!
• And calling back to Skupin bleeding from the face, which happened because he dove head first into the water while wearing the tribe SCUBA mask. My question – where did they get a mask? And Kalabaw had one too. My only assumption is it was part of last week’s reward, but I honestly don’t recall.
• Speaking of that challenge – great job by Kent, Penner, Tattoo Lady, Denise, Malcolm and RC in diving down and retrieving. Perhaps one or more of them will turn into a merge challenge monster.
• One thing I noticed – at the end, Penner gave a “good job” to Artis, crossing tribe lines. First, I wonder if that is foreshadowing to a future alliance. Second, isn’t that what got Matt ousted by Boston Rob a couple of seasons ago?
• I feel like I should mention Artis’ confessional, because it is such a rare sight. But it was only him bashing Skupin for the mask. Meh. Perhaps it will rise to power status, but I have never been less impressed with a budding alliance as I am with PBP/Abi/Artis/Blair.
• Malcolm – I’m stuck with the goon squad! But Goonies never quit.
• Lastly, Swan did manage to come out fighting at Tribal, and in the process drove poor Angie to tears. “I was willing to put my life on the line for my tribe, little girl…Miss Angie can’t hold a candle to me.” Ouch. At least he apologized at the vote for making her cry. Perhaps they can emerge from the “heartbreaking” status they are in, at least according to Malcolm, before they are Ulonged from existence.
Votes – Angie 3 (Swan, Malcolm, Denise), Swan 1 (Angie)
Next week – Matsing is still intact and may have One. Defining. Moment. We’ll see.