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My name is Janel, I have been writing and published for many years. I wrote two poetry books. I was the Associate Editor of my college newspaper. I hope to write my life story one day and finish it.

Total Blackout, May 23 – Feeling Up He-Man in the Dark

On tonight’s episode of Total Blackout, three players will compete in three extreme challenges with a twist. They must do everything in pitch black. 

Host Jaleel White introduces tonight’s brave players. Marie, 23, of Randolph, NJ, is in communications. Marie is definitely a Jersey girl and her attitude will come out during the competition. Next up is Paris, 25, Seattle, WA, in timeshare sales. Paris believes he will win despite the fact he startles easily, as he can remain calm under pressure. Yeah, yeah. That is what they all say until they turn out the lights.

We have the very optimistic Spencer, 40, Boston, MA, a health consultant. Spencer is going to win because he is the kind of man who preserves through any challenge! Go Spencer. The last player is Sophia, 21, Sun Valley, CA, a student. Sophia believes she is going to win because her family history originates from Sparta. So does this mean she is going to rely on Kirk Douglas for help?

In the first challenge the players must wear a metal glove. Their job is to find the creature that eats from the glove. Okay I would be leaving now. They must find the meat-eater and feed it. Oh, hell no! But there is a twist for these poor scared folks – none of the creatures are meat-eating killing machines. The animals and mammals located in the cages are a dog, a person, a harmless little bunny rabbit. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the fake alligator?

I guess they are lucky JAWS was too big for a cage. They must find the meat-eater in the fastest time possible and deal with the dark. Sure, that sounds simple. Paris is freaking out trying to remain calm. Marie’s Jersey girl persona is not helping her; in fact it became rather elusive.

Paris wants to know what he is doing in spandex feeding a random animal. Well, I believe they explained this to him in the first segment of the show. “Holt geez that,” is all Paris has to say. Spencer is worried he is going to lose an arm and keeps repeating “Eat the meat, eat the meat, sort of in a Buffalo Bill voice. It is kind of scary.

Marie and Sophia are taking their time. There is not as much screaming, which is a relief for viewers and Jaleel White. Well, just when I thought there was no screaming, the human touches Spencer and Paris and they both scream! (Extremely loud!) I just wonder what they think after they go home and watch the show to see just how they act. 

This is challenging because the players can’t see anything at all. The meat-eater is the dog. The dog took a bite from Marie. Paris and Sophia were also able to feed the nice dog. Spencer is trying to re-gain his composure and doesn’t want to scare it by screaming … so stop screaming. He finally manages to feed the dog.

The contestants make it out alive for one of them to jump through the black hole. Paris takes a dive through the black hole leaving Spencer, Marie and Sophia for round two. 

In the next challenge, the players will be getting up close and personal with four unusual items and must guess their correct weight. Okay, nothing like having to deal with semi-naked people in the pitch black.

Each player thinks it is going to be easier, but it is not. Maria is first and is in front of the first semi-naked person and must guess the weight. She guesses 350, but he is 340. Sophia guesses 80 pounds. Interesting that she says 80 pounds when this is a big dude. The next person is a 120 pound girl. Maria guesses 115, and Sophia feels violated. Spencer is next and is cursing more than guessing.

The last dude is big and buff, and Maria asks all the viewers not to tell her boyfriend. Hello, this is on television. Spencer says, “Imagine feeling up He-Man in the dark.” Spencer guesses 210, but in reality He-Man is 245. The last man is very hairy and weighs 175, but they all guess incorrectly. Sophia thought she was touching a gremlin. Spencer wonders if they found an ape or a monkey to join the show.

They all were really off with their weight guesses; let’s hope they don’t ever join the fair as weight guessers. Spencer looks like he is going to puke. Hopefully  he won’t, or so will everyone else. But wait, Spencer guesses the hairy gremlin man’s weight correctly.

With that wonderful round complete, one player must dive into the black hole leaving the other two to compete for the five thousand dollars. The remaining players are Spencer and Maria. Sorry Sophia, it looks like the Spartans were not on your side. 

The last challenge involves tarantulas. Why must they do this? Arachnophobia! There are one hundred fake spiders in a maze, and they must connect as many spiders as possible. But wait this is Syfy; you know there is a twist!

There are two, yes two, live tarantulas that do not like to be touched. The two tarantulas are safely locked away in glass cases away from the player. No way, no way, no way! I would not do it! Each player is frantic and making me nervous. I am going to fall off the sofa, I can’t handle this whole spider situation, and Spencer is petrified.

Maria gets through by thinking of her grandfather and how he would never let anything bad happen to her. Spencer begins grabbing all the webs and is losing it now because he has the entire fake web all over him. They have thirty nerve wracking seconds left. Oh lord, help them.

This show is intense tonight. The players are really going for it! They only have a few more seconds. There can only be one winner. They take the final plunge into the black hole Spencer is five thousand dollars richer having survived Total Blackout. Sorry, Maria!

Don’t miss next week’s all new episode of Total Blackout, Wednesday at 10/9c on the Syfy channel and may your nightmares inspire you. Oh and a word of advice, check under the bed for spiders. 

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