When Adam Met Dirk – American Idol 4 – 1/19/05
Simon, Paula and Randy (attired in his best pink loafers) arrive in St. Louis to a large enthusiastic crowd of contestants confident that this is going to be the best season for American Idol yet. Tonight’s episode gave us a few good singers and plenty of bad ones who continue to be totally oblivious to how bad they really are.
First up is the Maynard Triplets who harmonized a wonderful version of It’s Raining Men. The girls admit that Erin is the best of the three which leads to their own demise as the two are dismissed but not before Simon tells them they all look like overweight Jessica Simpson’s. After the judges decide to also pass on Erin she exits to the hallway where her sisters are in tears because Simon called them fat on TV. One of the sisters claims they are not fat. She goes on to say “Mandy weighs 160 pounds.” Bickering ensues as one hears Mandy’s voice scolding her sister for telling her weight on TV. The sister assures her, “They won’t play that on TV.”
Next up is Katrina Reese who admits to having eaten human flesh in a college class (“It tasted like bacon.”). She also shares that her family had a “panic room”. Simon impishly implies this must be where her parents hid from her. Katrina also tells the judges that her job is to talk to mental patients all day. Simon is beside himself with laughter and says things aren’t looking good so far. Katrina’s song is Whitney Houston’s “I Want To Dance”. Her performance is average and Paula thinks her voice won’t stand up to the previous talent they’ve seen. Randy says she can sing but is on the fence. Simon passes but not without one more fat joke.
After Ryan Seacrest throws the opening pitch for the Cardinals’ game, we are introduced to Osborne Smith II. Osborne is son to Cardinals’ Hall of Famer, Ozzie Smith. He says he’d like to be just as successful as his father and from the way he belted out Stevie Wonder’s “All I Do”, it’s my bet he’ll succeed. Paula said he had great tone and grabbed their attention. Welcome to Hollywood, Osborne!
Next up was Johnny Hayes who sang “My First Love”. Johnny had stated that his family adored him “since the age of three” but I think that his family was probably a bit biased because Johnny was simply awful. His nasal-ish voice prompted Randy to reassure him that there must be other things in life he could do well.
Arriving at the competition is a voice teacher and her student. Both are trying out for American Idol. The teacher, Angel Higgs, goes first with an adequate version of “Ain’t Nobody”. The judges didn’t sound very enthused but put her through to the next round. Later in the show, her student, Jeremy Wakefield, is rejected by the judges with his version of “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”. Angel is inconsolable when she receives the news and wails that she should have never come. Jeremy takes it all in stride.
Jessica Pontius says she has the looks, confidence, kindness and voice to be the next American Idol. However, her squeaky and off-tune “Over the Rainbow” says otherwise. In the words of Simon it was “honestly excruciatingly awful”. The judges did suggest she try voice over for cartoon characters. Jessica walks out while Paula is attempting to explain the virtues of voice over work.
Joe Shane showed up with his own fan club. He sang “My Girl” and sounded much like a cruise ship entertainer. When this was pointed out to him, he didn’t take it very well and declared he only did cruise ship singing once. Joe was aggressively insistent about his talent and felt he should be given a chance since he put his “heart and soul” into this audition. He snaps at Simon and questions “What’s that look for???” Simon was clearly not pleased.
Then along comes Justin Smith who had endless smiles and energy. He was filled with infectious fun and he made me smile with his dancing. However, he couldn’t sing. He attempted “Rollin’ On a River” which made the judges moan and complain that too many of the contestants pick that song. After being treated to a montage of terrible voices singing how they left a good job in the city, I could see why the judges were moaning.
I wasn’t quite sure what to think of the next contestant, AA’Shia Jackson. AA’Shia enters the room rappin’ some fast lyrics which she later claims to be her “originality”. Immediately after she goes into a chipmunk version of “I’ll Be There”. Randy says she’s definitely unique and gives her the thumbs up. Paula also gives her the nod and says she hopes she makes it to the top 12. Simon was thinking more like me as he told her she sounded like she had inhaled helium. He said they would fight this out in private but she is going to Hollywood. AA’Shia left the room and immediately told the cameras what she thought of Simon. Every reality show does better when there’s someone you love to hate. This could be it for me.
My favorite for the evening was Carrie Underwood, a farm girl who had never flown before. Looking gorgeous in pink, she sings “I Can’t Make You Love Me” flawlessly. I’ll be cheering this one on all the way!
Then we are treated to a touching story of when Adam met Dirk. These two remind me of the guys you did NOT want to ask you to dance at the school parties. They met earlier in the week and became inseparable friends, rooting each on. Dirk is up first and admits to the judges that he’s obsessed with Baywatch. His choice of song is (surprise!) David Hasselhoff’s Current of Love. It was pretty bad. Randy said it sounded “almost as good as Hasselhoff’s version”. Dirk had a good attitude and quickly refocused his energy to support his new friend, Adam. Adam came in and did a very bad impression of Simon and then sang “This I Promise You”. It was bad too.
All in all, the St. Louis auditions netted 32 contestants who will move on to the next round. I’m kind of sad that Adam and Dirk didn’t make it. The show closes with a shot of the new best friends walking off into the distance under the St. Louis Arch with “That’s What Friends Are For” playing in the background.
I welcome your comments. Annie@realityshack.com