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Every Breath You Take…, The Bachelorette 3, Episode 2

By Rachel

The second episode of The Bachelorette 3 starts with Chris telling the guys that there will be three dates: two group dates of seven guys each, and one lucky gent will get a one-on-one date with Jen. Chris hands the guys a video that has the names of who is going on the first group date. Ben, Ryan from NY, Michael, AW, Fabrice, Jason, and Jerry find out from the video that the will be seeing the sights of NY with Jen.

The first group date starts with Jen and the guys on a double decker bus touring the city. On the bus, the guys ask Jen a lot of questions about Andrew Firestone, such as why they broke up and if she is still friends with him. She seems a bit overwhelmed by their questions, but answers them all honestly.

Later the eight go on what appears to be a dinner cruise, and during this time Jen spends some time alone with each of the bachelors. Fabrice says something to Jen that sounds very sexy and romantic in French, but when he translates it to English, it’s pretty lame: “Your father must be a thief. He stole the stars and put them in your eyes.” I thought French guys were more slick than that. Maybe it’s just the language that makes it sound good. While talking to Michael, he tells Jen that he likes to cuddle, and usually he spoons his dog at night. I think his attempt to sound cute fell flat with that one. If he’s spooning his dog at night, is Jen supposed to sleep at the foot of the bed? During their time on the boat, Jason tells Jen that he is better known as a Virgin. Jen doesn’t see anything wrong with this, but wonders if Jason isn’t a bit too conservative for her.

Back at the bachelor pad, Keith finds out that the one-on-one date is his. This pleases him, because he is aware that Jen’s friends were the ones that chose him and that he really needs to prove himself to Jen. Their evening starts out with a carriage ride which takes them to The Plaza Hotel for dinner and drinks. For most of the beginning of the date, Keith seems to be happy and having a great time, while Jen looks uncomfortable and ready to run for the hills. Later into the date, Jennifer confesses to Keith that she is freaking out about the huge decision she is going to have to make (at the next rose ceremony, she is sending seven of the 15 home). She tells him that she realizes that she needs to calm down and be herself. Keith is sweet and tells Jen that he will do whatever she needs in order to feel more relaxed. After this exchange, Jen seems to loosen up.

The men get the third video and find out that Wendell, Matt, Mark, Stu, John Paul, Josh, and Ryan from California will be attending a Knicks game with Jen. Stu the Stalker is of course miffed that he didn’t get the one-on-one date with Jen. You almost expect him to go sit in a corner and sulk. The gang gets to watch the game from a press box, and Jen takes the men aside one by one to chat with them privately. While talking to Jen, Stu shows his stalker stripes. He tells her that he wants to know everything about her, like her favorite color, ice cream, and even peanut butter. Peanut butter? I don’t even know my husband’s favorite peanut butter, nor do I feel that I need to. Needless to say, Jen is turned off by this display. When Jen chats privately with Matt, we find find out how articulate he really isn’t. Between Stu wanting her blood type and Matt staring at her and stuttering, Jen says she wishes that everyone would just relax and have a good time. Enter Wendell. When he talks to Jen alone, he confesses that he has a huge crush on her, but he keeps it light and the two share some laughs. Jen looks as though she might have a crush too, and seems more interested than she has all evening.

Back at the men’s apartment is where the really interesting stuff is happening. The guys sit around and discuss who they think will get a rose, and who won’t. Jerry says that Stu won’t get a rose because of the “Stalker Factor”. Apparently this is something that everyone is noticing. Fabrice says that Josh will not get a rose because he isn’t what Jen is looking for. Later when Josh is back at the apartment, he confronts Fabrice, and Fabrice denies everything. Josh says that Jen needs a lover and a warrior, and he is a warrior. I was amazed that he didn’t start pounding his chest.

As the night progresses, the men get rowdy and pretty loud. A neighbor comes out and yells at the guys, telling them to shut up, it’s 1:30 AM for Pete’s sake, and if they don’t quiet down, he’s calling the cops. Apparently he’s not lying, because a few minutes later the police stop by and tell the men to quiet down or someone is getting arrested. And then they leave. So all of the hoopla in the previews is for two minutes in TV world for a noise disturbance. I think we were all hoping to see Stu dragged away in handcuffs for violating anti-stalking laws.

It’s finally time for the rose ceremony, and seven men will be sent home tonight. Before the ceremony, Stu tells the camera that Jen is completely in love with him, and he’s going to make sure she knows it. Will someone just arrest this guy now? And he’s a lawyer. He probably knows just how far he can go before getting thrown in the slammer. So, how is he going to “make sure she knows” that she’s in love with him? Hypnosis? Torture? By buying her favorite peanut butter?

We soon find out that Stu isn’t the only one that is a little nuts. Matt sits down with Jen and tells her that he wants to remember their group date forever. What exactly does he want to remember? The time in his life when he made an ass of himself in front of a woman that he was interested in and a few million televisions viewers, too? In any event, he decides to commemorate the occasion by asking Jen to kiss and autograph his Knicks ticket. What? Jen wonders if Matt looks at her as a celebrity or a potential mate. Don’t worry Jen, you weren’t the only one that questioned that. Jen autographs the ticket but refuses to kiss it. Who knows where that ticket has been.

Our next psycho contestant is Mark, who gives Jen a heart shaped charm. It’s not the charm that is giving us the willies, it’s the story that accompanies it. Mark tells Jen that he has a charm, too. It’s his mother’s. His mother is dead. She is buried with his, and he carries hers. It’s a guardian angel charm. Now he wants Jen to have one. Whoa. That’s something you give her when you’re one of the last two standing, not one of the last 15.

It’s finally time for Jen to hand out the roses. She chooses Wendell, Fabrice, Ben, Keith, Ryan from California, Jerry, John Paul, and Josh, in that order. No one passes out this time, and the only one that looks awkward is Fabrice. Yeah, we too were surprised that she kept you after that pathetic line you gave her.

After the ceremony, Stu is pissed and no one is shocked. Jen made a mistake. A BIG MISTAKE! He said it was ridiculous. He was nothing but honest and sincere and attentive, and then she did this to him. You’ll rue the day, Jen! No, he didn’t say that last part. Let’s not forget, though, that he knows where they live. Will he come back to make their lives hell? I have to confess that I hope he does. It’s just good TV.

Not quite as exciting as Stu, Jason tells the camera that he believes he got canned for being a virgin. Unfortunately, he’s probably correct. He should have taken a cue from Josh who is a virgin AND a warrior, and didn’t feel the need to tell Jen about his lack of history between the sheets. Warriors don’t tell things like that.

Next week, the men play four on four basketball to get one-on-one dates with Jen. Also, this time Jen has six roses and will send two men home.

I want to know what you think! Who will be the next to get sent home? Will Stalker Stu come back for vengeance? Will Fabrice tell Jen that she must be tired from running through his mind all day? Will Josh the Virgin Warrior be sent off into the sunset on his stallion? Send your emails to rachel@realityshack.com .

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