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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race, May 6 – Captain Poopy Pants Wins the Race!

Normally at this point I’d be prognosticating who I think will win this season of The Amazing Race, but it’s been so crazy, I don’t know what’s going to happen. By all rights it should be either Border Patrol agents Art and J.J or Blonde Rachel and Dave winning, as there haven’t been many legs that one of those two teams didn’t come in first. However, in this Race, crazy things tend to happen, and in such a crazy season as this, the win could also easily go to Big Brother team Rachel and Brendon or Vanessa and Ralph.

The first team to leave Cochin, India, are once again Blonde Rachel and Dave. Their clue tells them to fly to Hiroshima, Japan, where they will head to Miyajima Island to get their next clue. Winning is important to Dave, but he finally admits his relationship with his wife is more important. They head to a travel agency, and the agent asks how they liked his country. Rachel tells him it was very nice, and Dave admonishes her for bothering the man while he’s working. He then tries to make it better later, saying he doesn’t view her necessarily as his wife, but more his teammate and equal. However, it didn’t sound like that just now. The only flight they find gets to Hiroshima at 8:10 tomorrow night.

Without any departure drama, we catch up to all the teams on the flight to Hiroshima. Redhead Rachel notes that at this point, a mistake could mean the end for her and Brendon. J.J. feels he and Art are the best team. Their greatest fear is standing in front of Phil Keoghan and being told they are the last team to arrive. They have faced that fear, leaving J.J. no doubts that they’ll be in that final three. Vanessa ended up spraining her ankle on the last leg, and it’s painful, but she’s going to try and run this leg hard anyway.

The flight arrives in Hiroshima, and the teams hurry to get bus tickets. Border Patrol and Vanessa and Ralph get their tickets and board the bus, while Big Brother does it backward, arriving at the bus and asking where to get the tickets. Of course no one is going to help them. J.J. doesn’t even think they bother to read the clues; he thinks they just run. Blonde Rachel and Dave get a local to help them secure their tickets, while Big Brother has difficulty with this. Blonde Rachel and Dave hit the bus, while Big Brother misses it.

Redhead Rachel chews out Brendon for not listening to her when they have to catch the next bus. She tells him she’s done making decisions and that now he can make them all. He asks her to lower her voice on the bus. She counters that he acts like every other male and doesn’t respect her decisions, thinking he can do it all on his own.

The first bus arrives, and the teams look for tickets to get to Mijajima Island. While Ralph is asking around and representing the group looking for tickets, Dave points out a kiosk to get tickets on their own. Ralph somewhat pooh-poohs this, as Dave and Rachel sneak off to do it on their own, as he explains he’s not much of a follower. Ralph is told they need to get tickets from the kiosk. Rachel and Dave, however, have no idea how to read the Japanese instructions on the kiosk. They group together with the other two teams and take off to find help.

Big Brother are still on the bus and Brendon has struck up a friendship with a local who has lived here her whole life. Their bus arrives, and Rachel isn’t talking to him. They head inside to get tickets from the kiosk and get their tickets quickly before the other teams have found out how to do it yet. Border Patrol remarked earlier that Big Brother only ran and didn’t bother to look at the clue. Here it seems that they did more than the others.

While the other teams are arranging for their tickets from agents, Big Brother is already boarding. The train leaves at 22:00, and the other leaves at 22:40. All the teams but Blonde Rachel and Dave make the train. While waiting for the next train, Dave keeps talking about how they’re not followers. That’s great, but sometimes you need to be to keep up with the others. Rachel tells him missing the train is nothing to pout about. He just wants to focus on what’s important right now. Would that be the fact that everyone else is ahead of you because you insist on not being a follower?

The other three teams’ train arrives, and they get tickets for a ferry to Miyajima Island, and it’s turning into no easy feat to get there. The ferry leaves in three minutes, and it’s the last one of the night. Blonde Rachel and Dave are running to make it, while Border Patrol is of course hoping they don’t make it. Vanessa and Ralph celebrate when the other couple doesn’t make it.

Redhead Rachel says after the other couple won six legs of the race, it’s good to not see them in the lead for once. Maybe, just maybe, someone else can win a leg … like her and Brendon. Blonde Rachel and Dave find out the next ferry doesn’t leave until 6:25 AM and call it one minute wasted for a million dollars. She again blasts him for pouting, saying there’s nothing to do but wait it out. They look for a room for the night to stay for a few hours.

J.J. mentions that the only teams to make the ferry are he and Art, Big Brother, and “Conan and Kardashian.” They all depart the ferry to start looking for the clue. Ralph warns Vanessa to be careful of her foot. While everyone searches, Redhead Rachel finds a sign saying, “Your clue arrives with the Rising Sun.” They all realize this means it won’t be until tomorrow morning. There goes their lead over Rachel and Dave.

Early the next morning, while it’s still dark out, Rachel and Dave board the ferry, as he explains they talked last night about a few things and resolved some issues, deciding today is a new day, as they want to get back into the top two or three, if not first place. Once they depart the ferry, they meet up with Vanessa and Ralph who tell them they have to wait until sunrise. Blonde Rachel thinks “Dave can take his poopy pants off now.” Umm, that would be Captain Poopy Pants to you, ma’am.

A local arrives with a cart and baskets, as well as their clue. The clue tells the teams to make their way to Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park to look for the Atomic Bomb Dome. This is the site where the bomb was dropped. It holds a building that was partially destroyed by the bomb, but still stands as a reminder. Dave knows it will have a lasting impact, and Vanessa is resolving to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. It’s become more tangible to her to see the evidence here. As a physicist, Brendon studies radiation, but they use it to try and help people rid themselves of cancer. To see the destruction it has caused is hard to comprehend. Redhead Rachel mention the triumph of human spirit that is something to be admired, and thinks the Japanese cultivate it in their everyday lives.

All the teams quietly receive a clue telling them to travel by bullet train to the city of Osaka where they need to head to the TV 8 Studio to get the next clue. Once they arrive in Osaka, the teams differ on their ideas of how to arrive at TV 8. Blonde Rachel and Dave are deciding to travel via subway because of traffic, while Vanessa and Ralph are deciding to take a cab. Big Brother also takes the subway, while Border patrol catch a cab. Art mentions they asked locals who said the quickest way was by train, while Dave points to the crowd they’re traveling with, saying 100 locals can’t be wrong.

Vanessa and Ralph are the first team to arrive at TV 8 Studio, while Border Patrol are stuck in traffic. It’s a false alarm for the dating divorcees, though, as they’re at the old studio. Meanwhile, Border Patrol has found the new studio and the clue, a Roadblock. One person from each team has to play the game show “Bring That Chicken Home.” Art is the lucky one on this team. He comes out wearing a sparring helmet and knee pads, and J.J. thinks he looks so ridiculous, that it makes J.J. warm and fuzzy inside. Art will need to get three chickens from the ceiling while running on a huge treadmill.

Art isn’t exactly fleet-footed. He grabs a chicken, but falls down, then starts running again. J.J. laughs his ass off the whole time. He finally gets the third chicken, but has to figure out how to get to the end of the treadmill to jump off. He needs to take a breather.

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