Total Blackout , a new Syfy show hosted by Jaleel White (Dancing with the Stars, Family Matters), features contestants being placed in crazy situations, but there is a catch. They must perform all of the tasks in complete darkness with no light at all. it is difficult enough for most of us to make our way to the bathroom in the middle of the night in the dark, so for these folks to perform crazy tasks in complete darkness must be insane.
On tonight’s season premiere, four ordinary people will be tested in ways they never even imagined. They go through hell and do everything in complete darkness. There is more screaming on this show than in all of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre films combined. The contestants take on three extreme challenges. The prize is five thousand dollars; I don’t think I would do this for five grand.
So let’s meet these nice willing victims, shall we? Patrick is a deputy sheriff. Awet is an administrator from Boston, MA, and believes she is going to win this game because she said so. Chynna from Arizona is a pest control sales associate. Her winning plan is to sing church songs in her head. Good luck with that. Last but never least, we have Marq from the Philliphines, a photographer.
The first question our host with the most asks is “Who’s afraid of the dark?” Let’s all raise our hands, shall we? For the first challenge, the contestants must identify different objects that are placed in a tank in complete darkness. Awet is up first and is already screaming. She reaches into the tank and it’s not good at all.
Who would put their hand into a fish tank in complete darkness. A screaming Marq tries to put his hand into the tank and can’t get past doing anything but screaming. Poor Jaleel should have ear plugs. These people have four tanks to investigate, and they can barely get through one, so this may take forever.
Chynna and Patrick get one tank correct and guess cockroaches. Hell no, I would never stick my hand into a fish tank full of roaches (insert gagging sounds here please). Awet and Marq are in full blown panic mode, and according to Marq, everything smells. He is pretty sure nothing will kill him; he does know he is on the Syfy channel, right?
One tank has a pineapple in it, and Marq decides he is just going to go for it and grab it. He does and guesses correctly that yes it is a pineapple and not an iguana. Awet waves her hand over the tank as if she were performing a magic trick; she picks it up and drops it right away. If they only knew it was just a pineapple, what do you think they would do? Laugh, would be my guess.
Awet makes her way to another tank and is scared as hell. Patrick, the good deputy, is trying not to act scared, but he finally admits he is. Chynna is really digging into the third tank and feeling around, comes to the conclusion that there are body parts in the tank. Really? Body parts! Marq finally guesses what it is, an octopus, not body parts.
Chynna moves on to the last tank and feels around, quickly guessing that it is a bra, and she is correct. The clock is ticking. The contestants have some time to check the other tanks, but they fail. It is time to move on. Three contestants will move on and one will be dropped down a black hole. Marq out-screamed Awet by at least one hundred screams. Awet screams all the way till the end, leaving Marq, Patrick and Chynna still in the race for the money.
The next challenge is pretty fascinating. The contestants must eat random food off of human beings, and I am nauseous thinking about this. They must identify four different foods, then eat the food. They are only allowed to use their hands to find the food. Oh this is gross. Chynna is freaking out There are four bodies lined up with food on them. Patrick is ready for the buffet.Okay, all together now, ewwwww.
Marq finds food and tastes it, decides it is beer, but is wrong. He tastes it again and decides it is champagne and is correct. Oh, thanks to the Lord. Chynna is so grossed out; she just can’t handle this. Patrick tries to taste the food but looks a little sick. Chynna tries to sing church songs, but decides she just wants her mom.
Patrick tries to find the food again and guesses fish eggs and is correct. Marq also guesses caviar, as does Chynna. Marq and Chynna decide the stinky stuff is blue cheese and are right. It really is gross, but funny. Marq guesses the last one is a cherry. Chynna also gets it right, but Patrick decides the cherry taste like a fish eye ball.
Now there are just two as Patrick falls down the black hole. Marq and Chynna must prepare their sense of smell taking on things that stink, sounds like fun. In the final battle, they must identify the most items using only their sense of smell. Once again, it is in complete darkness. They have five minutes to complete this, and only Hannibal Lector himself could guess this correctly in less than five minutes.
Chynna is convinced that her nose is not working and her mind is playing tricks on her. Marq discovers a human armpit and decides it smells like poo. No way could you get me to do this. “Gosh dang it,” Chynna says after trying to figure out what a smelly shoe was. The final contestant must jump through the hole. Let’s see who is left standing.
It is Chynna. Congratulations Chynna, you are the last woman standing on Total Blackout, and win five thousand dollars for smelling a stinky shoe.