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Real Housewives of Orange County, Ep. 11 – “What’s New Pussycat?”

Performance anxiety, careers, and killing with kindness.

Alexis invites Gretchen over for opinions on her Fox 5 segment. Gretchen’s opinion is so very important because when you love someone and they love you back, you wanna know what they think. Well, Alexis does anyway.

Gretchen, the good friend she is, admits the Fox 5 people first offered her the segment, but she turned it down and thus they’re stuck with Alexis. She gives Alexis some less than anticipated thoughts. I anticipate this “friendship” dwindling throughout the season.

The famous actress I’m not the least bit familiar with, Heather, has an audition. Time to plan how motherhood, being a wife, and holding down the household, and that restaurant idea is going to work out together.

Heather’s schedule seems full as is. Now to dive back into her acting career is going to bring some compromises. I’m sure she can afford it though.

While folding the laundry, mainly Slade’s things, Gretchen calls up the girls to make sure they attend her Pussycat Doll performance in Vegas. Vicki may or may not show up for this thing. For one: it’s Gretchen’s event. Second: Bunco party tension is still unresolved. Third: Vicki can be a stubborn thing.

What happens if Heather actually gets the part on the show? It shoots in Canada. She’ll potentially be on set for as long as twenty hours. What about the family? A talk with her husband, Terry, has her reconsidering the series she auditioned for.

Terry’s the most supportive husband on earth. He’ll hire a full-time nanny and teachers to be on set with Heather for the kids. The family will pack up and go to Canada if necessary. Wow.

Speaking of supportive husbands, Jim is still totally against Alexis “working” and having a “career.” The next logical step after Fox 5 is getting an acting coach because…well that’s how Alexis’s mind works. She aspires to host her own television show.

Vicki’s new perspective on life has choosing kindness over fighting. She’s being supportive and nice towards Gretchen and even Slade. Of course it’s weird. But she’ll avoid the elephant in the room for as long as she can.

Everyone is caught off guard (read: wondering what the hell’s going on) by Vicki’s sudden kindness. Hello — scream-off match on dead-beat dads Bunco party night. Seems like Vicki’s actually planning to kill with kindness.

Gretchen’s rehearsal of “Fever” for The Pussycat Doll show … looks nice. Yes, she looks good. She’s a pretty girl. The dancers are great, as expected. Now as for the singing…um, not so much. Gretchen’s right: singing in the car and singing in the shower are completely different from singing on stage. Because singing onstage actually requires that you be a vocalist. That’s a rarity today.

The complexities of being a performer have Gretchen second-guessing this gig more than ever. If only she could stand there and just look pretty. She has that down. But moving, being sensual, singing, and dancing, while remembering how to handle the microphone, is a little much to take in. Performing isn’t all that easy after all.

Alexis has a make-up artist to work wonders on her face. She has to mask the noticeable change in her nose, oh and there’s still some bruising from the healing process. The make-up artist completely makes up Alexis’s face. Layers and layers of foundation that doesn’t quite match the skin tone.

“I don’t know, maybe she thought I was auditioning for ‘Planet of the Apes’.” Nice, Alexis.

After trying to rework what the make-up artist did, Alexis and Jim run late in meeting the other couples.

Tamra notices Jim’s chin and makes a comment about a chin implant “It looks great!” Love the sarcasm. While Alexis on the other hand, “looks like a drag queen.”

Brooks declares his affirmation for Vicki once everyone’s seated at the table. Bullsh*t, bullsh*t, bullsh*t. I think everyone’s on the same page on that. But Vicki doesn’t care what the other women think. She’s in a good place in her life. Her tank is full, remember?

Moments before Gretchen goes onstage, Alexis pulls her aside to pray. Yes, pray. Can God help this performance for Gretchen?

On the next episode: Gretchen’s big performance in the Pussycat Dolls burlesque show.

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