home Guilty Pleasures Real Housewives of New Jersey, Apr. – “High Tide, Low Blow”

Real Housewives of New Jersey, Apr. – “High Tide, Low Blow”

Jersey Shore, the cookbook, and rumors.

My favorite wives are back! Jersey takes it to the Jersey shore in the season 4 premiere. Remember the heated season 3 reunion where Teresa played the Devil, and Caroline, Melissa, and Kathy were all against her? That little cookbook of Teresa’s stirred up more than just Italian dishes.

We pick up at the reunion, notice Jacqueline absent, and now rewind four months earlier to the summer where all is relatively good.

Everyone knows about Teresa’s cookbook, and though it pretty much bashed family and friends, the Housewives family are trying to keep the peace. No one plans on confronting Teresa, at least not in this episode. Joe Gorga, Teresa’s brother, is clearly upset, but he’s come a long way to repairing some sort of relationship with his sister.

The Manzos were obviously upset over the cookbook in season 3’s finale. Crickets invade when Jacqueline comes over and says Teresa is stopping by for dinner. The loud and obnoxious, yet familiar, voice of none other than Teresa permeates the halls of Casa Manzo.

No warm greetings, hugs or genuine kisses here. Teresa quickly takes Caroline aside to briefly discuss the cookbook and — I guess — apologize. For what, I do not know. She stands by her cookbook one-hundred percent.

“This is a family cookbook. Family,” Teresa tells Caroline.

She personally hands Caroline her copy of the book with their beautiful picture inside. Here comes the rain. No really, it literally begins raining, so the women head inside for what I can imagine an awkward dinner with forced laughter for the guests.

The Gorga’s, Wakiles, and Giudices pack for a family daytrip to the Jersey Shore.

Joe Gorga tells Melissa what Teresa said, “Your wife would leave you for a richer man.” Melissa can’t really confront Teresa about it because she’ll be the bad guy in that situation. Just fuel for the fire later this season.

The three families arrive on the Jersey Shore with their gorgeous children. My God, these people are so good-looking. I’m going to take a minute to gush about the kids because little Milania Giudice stole a segment of the show. “WOW, dad, HOLY… look how STRONG you are! You’re like a dragon!”

The Gorga’s and Wakiles have a small dinner before meeting with Teresa the next day. Topic of discussion: Joe Giudice’s alleged infidelity. We viewers get captions from magazine articles about Teresa putting her family down, again.

I agree with Joe, “Teresa is in serious denial about life. Life isn’t perfect.” Everybody has their problems. There are, or were, rumors circulating about Joe Giudice cheating on Teresa. Joe had to go to jail, and there was only Teresa and her four girls.

Caroline goes to the doctor for constant migraines and gets a diagnosis for menopause in return.

At the Laurita residence, Jacqueline’s life coach pays a visit. The Ashlee drama isn’t quite as bad as it was previous seasons, but she’s still causing stress on the family. Speaking of Ashlee, what up with the new look? The once brunette is now blonde with fuller lips. Chris, Jacqueline’s husband, has a little chat with his step-daughter.

Simply put: Ashlee has got to go.

“Are you serious? I have friends home from school … plans tomorrow,” Ashlee whines.

No not tomorrow! Let her have the day with her friends. Re-schedule kicking her out. I think it can wait. That plan has held for over a season now, so what’s one more day … or a week?

Alright, I identify with Ashlee completely. It’s an awkward and messed period of life, the transition to adulthood. We’re at that age, but you still have to make an effort. You can’t be a complete jerk to your mom and extended family, even though you want your independence, but don’t want the responsibilities of being an adult. I get it. Really.

On the next episode: Jacqueline and Chris kick Ashlee out of the house for her own good. The family starts to confront Teresa about the blasted cookbook.

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