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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race, Apr. 8 – Camping and Arguing Go Together

Viewing the scenery, Brendon feels it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Kentucky and Blonde Rachel and Dave take off next, and enjoy watching the wildlife below. The last two teams take off, and Ralph says his daughter would be very jealous right now. They get to fly over the most amazing sights, and the teams put animosity behind them for a short bit. Nary, though, falls asleep.

The first flight lands, and the teams get a clue telling them to choose a safari vehicle and navigate the driver to Ngorongoro Crater. There they will find a warrior who will hand them their next clue. And guess what happens here? Border Patrol find themselves telling their driver to follow Big Brother. Fancy that. Both teams then end up getting out to ask directions and remark about the locals carrying spears. Redhead Rachel is thrilled to finally be on a safari and calls it “so cool” seeing the zebras.

The second flight lands, and Mark tells their driver “this place is beautiful. These teams also stop and ask the locals for directions. Blonde Rachel can only guess they’re going the right way as there are no real roads. Mark comments that he’s been wanting to visit this area as his great-great-grandfather is originally from the area. He knows his mother will be amazed.

Border Patrol finds the warrior, followed closely behind by Big Brother. The clue is a Detour – Marksmanship or Courtship. In both they’ll need to choose a bicycle and pedal their way there. In Marksmanship, teams will learn to hunt just like the locals. They’ll master the use of a unique weapon to shatter a clay target. In Courtship, teams will join a group of warriors in a jumping ritual. They’ll need to jump for an exhausting minute, and when they complete it, they’ll get the next clue.

Border Patrol chooses Marksmanship, while Big Brother chooses Courtship, natch. Apparently they are once again not following. Border Patrol begins pedaling, and Rachel has a hard time with it as her bike has a very high seat. And she’s a tall woman, so the others might have even more of a problem. The third flight lands with the “Kindergarten teachers” waving to the locals, and Ralph not understanding why the locals seem so happy to see them.

Border Patrol reaches the village, followed closely behind by Big Brother. They get cloaked in traditional garb, and Border Patrol gets started right away trying to break a clay target. J.J. remarks that he played quarterback for a law enforcement football team, so he tries to sling it like a football. He cracks one, but doesn’t anihilate it enough.

Big Brother gets to their jumping ritual and start jumping. She notes the locals jump really high and don’t even have tennis shoes. They’re just wearing sandals. This is by far the easier task, but you have to be in shape, as one minute can seem much longer. Nevertheless, they complete it very quickly and get the next clue to travel to the Simba Campsite. Border Patrol is still working on it, and finally break their targets.

Blonde Rachel and Dave find the warrior, and Dave wants to do Marksmanship. As predicted, she finds it even more difficult to use this high-seated bike and calls it “scary as hell.” Big Brother and Border Patrol are finding it not so easy to bike up the hill. Blonde Rachel and Dave are already arguing on the way down. He tells her not to misconstrue his support for yelling. There really isn’t a fine line in that.

Kentucky gets the clue from the warrior, and Brendon, who has just reached the vehicle again with Rachel, yells out to them to take Courtship. They take him up on his hint. Big Brother is following behind Border Patrol, who aren’t happy with it, but seriously with only one road to travel on, what do they expect them to do?

Blonde Rachel and Dave reach the village and start throwing at the clay targets. He instructs her to watch him, but he doesn’t hit it, so I’m not sure why she’s supposed to watch him. Kentucky show up and start jumping, with Bopper yelling out, “White men can jump!” Mark notes they could have jumped for ten minutes, as it was just fun. He does hope it didn’t mean he and Bopper were courting. They finish right away and head back up the hill on the bikes. Rachel and Dave finally break their targets and start heading up the hill as well.

Nary and Jamie reach the warrior and get their clue deciding on Marksmanship, as Vanessa and Ralph decide the same. Vanessa has a hard time on the tall bikes. She complains she can’t even “mount this thing.” He tells her to just get on and push. She tries but keeps falling off. She decides to just walk it, and he complains that they’ll fall behind, even though they’re currently in last place anyway. He tells her to try and get momentum going downhill, but she keeps falling off. He concedes that she should just walk it.

Nary and Jamie work on Marksmanship saying they’re great with targets and are great shots. They don’t hit any in the beginning. Border Patrol are driving to the Campsite and can’t believe the Japanese tourists that they see taking pictures. Big Brother stops for directions and find they need to go back the way they came. They turn around, while Border Patrol continue to go in the wrong direction.

Rachel and Dave end up being the first team to reach the Simba Campsite and get a clue telling them to unload materials stacked on a truck, then construct an elaborate safari tent complete with a working bush shower. Once they complete this, they will race to the nearby pit stop. They start constructing it, as Dave says this might be in the deep recesses of his Army skills. He thinks his OCD will help him as well.

Mary and Jamie finally break their targets and take off back up the hill as Vanessa and Ralph finally arrive. Border Patrol finally stops and asks for directions and find they are going the wrong direction. They were so obsessed over Big Brother following them yet again that they didn’t seem to notice they turned off and went in the correct direction awhile ago. They were in first place, and now think they’re fighting for their lives.

Vanessa breaks a clay target, while Ralph struggles, and finally hits it. She, of course, has to walk her way up the hill. Big Brother are arriving at the campsite, followed closely behind by Kentucky. Redhead Rachel says she’s no African safari bushmaster, but she’s camped before. Ralph and Vanessa get to the top of the hill, and he asks if she realizes they just lost, then tries to tell her he’s not mad and is proud of her. Yeah, right.

Border Patrol lands at the campsite, following closely behind are Nary and Jamie. Dave’s poles fall, and she tells him having a fit is clearly not the way to go at this point. Redhead Rachel runs to the tent that is set up as an example and lays down. Brendon asks what she’s doing, and she says she’s measuring. He tells her to use her feet, but she seems to be doing okay with her method.

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