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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race, Apr. 8 – Camping and Arguing Go Together

The last episode of The Amazing Race was a pretty good one, although I had to read through my past recap to remember it. CBS skipped airing the show for a week, then I was out of town last weekend. I’m just now unburying from that mess, and now I’m remembering that last episode. Joey and Danny were eliminated, and Border Patrol finally lost their hold on first place. Will they get it back this week?

The first team to leave the pit stop in Baku, Azerbaijan are Blonde Rachel and Dave at 9:15 PM. Their clue tells them to fly to Kilimanjaro, Tanzania. They’re excited to go, since they’ve never been to Africa. They stop at a travel agent to look up possible flights and find a flight leaving tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM via Nairobi, then to Kilimanjaro.

Border Patrol agents Art and J.J. leave at 10:45 PM and still feel like the frontrunners. They’re hoping they can get rid of some of the dead weight, i.e. the Big Brother team of Redhead Rachel and Brendon. They’re getting tired of them following them and are “getting a little cranky about it.”

Kentucky team Bopper and Mark leave ten minutes later, and Big Brother leave one minute after that, as she celebrates their upcoming trip to Africa. This is her dream, having wanted to go on an African safari her whole life. Bopper asks whoever thought two country boys would be on their way to Africa.

Border Patrol is booking their flight, and when Big Brother walks in, they ask the agent to not mention their flight out loud, as they know the other team will try to listen. Sure enough, Rachel sits right next to them, all ears. She mentions the animosity and claims to not have done anything to deserve it. She thinks Border Patrol just doesn’t believe they belong there. Kentucky arrives, and Bopper is excited to see a candy dish and pockets some of it.

Federal Agents Nary and Jamie leave in fifth place at 11:32 PM. Jamie explains that a year ago she was in a training accident where her gun went off and shattered her femur. Nary slept in a bed right next to her and never left her side. She appreciates the support. Vanessa and Ralph leave three minutes later.

While waiting to book their flight, Mark asks what teams are behind them, and Bopper tells him the “Teachers” and Vanessa and Ralph. Border Patrol contends “they’re not teachers.” Redhead Rachel asks why, and is told it’s just a hunch, but Border Patrol believes they do something in law enforcement. Art had been talking about “UC operations” on the last leg, and that’s code for “undercover.” Jamie asked what kind of UC operations Border Patrol does, and it was apparent she knew exactly what he was referring to. Border Patrol and Rachel discuss that teachers are more friendly and bouncy.

Once it’s Big Brother’s turn to book their flight, Rachel asks what flight Border Patrol got and asks if the agent was told not to tell them. While in the cab on their way to the airport, J.J. is still complaining about them, saying, “Do something on your own for God’s sake. Pull up those little boy britches and be a man.” Brendon tells Mark he doesn’t care if Nary and Jamie are cops; they can be FBI agents for all he cares. If he only knew how close he was. They’re nicer than the Border Patrol guys. Border Patrol laughs at the pot they just stirred.

Sure enough, Nary and Jamie enter, and Brendon mentions right away that Border Patrol told them they were cops. He mentions cops or not, they’re still nicer than Art and J.J. The “teachers” say they can still run faster than Border Patrol anyway. Brendon wonders who Border Patrol is chasing and claims that’s going to be where he crosses, through that hole in the fence they patrol. Jamie figures if the gig is up and the truth is out, that’s okay, as their agency is better anyway, and they can kiss their ass.

Vanessa and Ralph enter to wait in line for airline tickets as Big Brother is leaving. Redhead Rachel says she wishes there were a quicker flight than 10 AM. Vanessa laughs and says she’s not going to buy that. Observing Rachel, she thought it seemed like she was in a bad acting class. The other teams book their flights, and Vanessa comments that she hears Nairobi is nice this time of year. All teams make the same flight.

The flight lands in Nairobi, and Brendon and Ralph collide, and Brendon puts his finger in Ralph’s face, who says it was uncalled for. Border Patrol talk about Brendon flipping Ralpha off. Border Patrol uses this time to bring up Big Brother following them. Rachel then picks up the beef and tells Vanessa and Ralph to get out of their faces. Everyone is upset at Brendon for flipping them off, and Rachel says it was Vanessa who ran into her. Vanessa says Rachel shoved her, as she doesn’t take up that much space, in other words attacking her size.

Vanessa tells Rachel to just to put on more sparkles. Rachel hopes insulting people makes her feel better about herself, and Vanessa hopes running her mouth helps Rachel feel better about herself. Rachel asks her how old she is, and Vanessa says she’s 38, but still looks better than Rachel, then tells her to get her nose done next time before her boobs. Ralph turns around and tells Vanessa to stop. Mark compares it to a bunch of kids in school in a lunchline. J.J. can’t believe they’re even in the same race as Big Brother. Rachel is upset about being insulted, and J.J. just laughs at her. She encourages him to learn some humility. Rachel goes back to her Big Brother days and cries that everyone is picking on her.

Border Patrol calls over the Federal Agents and asks them what job they really do, saying they know they aren’t kindergarten teachers. He tells them no one talks about UC operations and caseloads unless they’re in law enforcement. Jamie asks if they really want to get into this amongst all the other confrontation. Nary and Jamie stick to their story, but it really doesn’t change how anyone feels. J.J. is happy, though, to get “them juices flowin’ before we hit that road runnin’, Baby.”

The flight touches down in Kilimanjaro and everyone takes off to catch cabs to the Arusha Airstrip. They’ll sign up for one of three charter flights. Big Brother discusses how much they hate Border Patrol, as Redhead Rachel calls them “Snobby McSnobsters.” Vanessa feels it’s a shame that “Team Big Baby” got ahead of her and Ralph. He just wants to worry about themselves for a change. What a novel approach.

Border Patrol arrives at the airstrip first and signs up for the first flight at 9:30. Big Brother is next, grabbing that same flight, followed by Kentucky and Blonde Rachel and Dave, who get a 9:45 AM flight. Blonde Rachel cracks up seeing Border Patrol and Big Brother on the same flight. Federal Agents and Vanessa and Ralph get the last flight at 10:00 AM.

Border Patrol and Big Brother board the charter together. J.J. jokes they’re their best friends, and Redhead Rachel says not only is she motivated to beat them, she’s motivated to destroy them. Art thinks someone will end up crying by the end of the day. J.J. just hopes it won’t be Art.

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