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Swan 2 – Episode 8: The Pageant Waits for You

Tonight’s episode had two more hard-luck stories. Amy Williams is a 27 year old single mom and waitress who had to move back in with her parents. She feels like a “loser”. At 27, I was a single mom, living with my parents. I understand how she feels although I wasn’t a waitress.

Dorie Webber is 40 years old. She’s married and has no children. She’s been trying for 10 years to have a baby. At one point, she got pregnant (after taking some fertility treatments). She miscarried at 12 weeks and was devastated completely by that. I had lost a baby at 22 and know that pain.

I was emotionally invested in both of these women. I hate that because that means I’m probably going to cry during this episode. My husband would laugh at that, because I cry at a lot of things like Christmas specials, commercials and movies of all types.

I’ve been crying a lot this season. I cried for Twila last night on “Survivor”.

But I digress. You don’t need to know how much of a crier I am. (But I bet it gives you new perspective on me, huh?)

The experts enter into the “briefing” room. They check out Amy Williams first. She lives in Texas, near Houston. She wants to be a singer but was devastated when someone told her she “had a face for radio.” She has no confidence in herself.

She knows that she’ll struggle with being away from her daughter, but she wants to move forward in her life.

Dr. Haworth, her plastic surgeon, and Dr. Worth, the oral surgeon, both see some challenges ahead. She has an undefined jaw line and a lot of tooth decay.

Her program includes, but is NOT limited to:

*brow lift
*chin implant
*jaw implant
*eye surgery
*liposuction
*tummy tuck
*10 ROOT CANALS (OUCH!)
*veneers
*Nutrisystem Diet
*150 hours in the gym
*weekly therapy and coaching

Dore Webber lives in Las Vegas, NV. She is a building contractor. She lives with her hubby. She was teased as a child because of her nose. She met her husband on a blind date and felt he only stuck out the date to be nice. She has some serious confidence issues.

She also longs to be a mom. She’s always wanted to be a mother. She’s undergone a lot of fertility treatments and tried just about everything in the past 10 years to be a mom. She is still grieving over her miscarriage and is sad that her husband doesn’t even want to consider adoption.

She wants her 40s to be a new chapter in her life. Since the fertility drugs have messed up her metabolism, Debbie (the trainer) wants her to workout 2 hours a day in the gym. She has a bit of weight to lose and is put on a 1,200 calorie a day diet.

The rest of her plan includes:

*brow & upper eye lift
*chin implant
*breast augmentation
*liposuction
*zoom bleaching
*veneers
*rhinoplasty

She doesn’t get a tummy tuck just in case she does get pregnant in the future. A tummy tuck can be ‘undone’ by pregnancy, Dr. Dubrow tells us. Dr. Dubrow is very sweet to think of her dreams like that. He impresses me more and more every week.

The ladies sign their Swan contracts. Dore reads her letter from her hubby and Amy has to put down the one from her family. She misses her daughter terribly.

Amy meets with Dr. Haworth for her surgical consultation. He tells her that he wants to feminize her face and that he’s giving her jaw implants. She’s thrilled as she’s always wanted a jaw line.

Dr. Haworth tells the cameras that it’s a risky procedure. It’s high risk for causing infection and it is technically demanding. Not a lot of surgeons perform it.

Dr. Dubrow, who meets with Dore, tells her that most of her work will be done in the gym. She has a great attitude and says, “I’ll commit to anything.”

Meanwhile, Amy’s having trouble at the dentist. Dr. Worth has to extract 4 teeth. One of which broke off in little pieces. MEEEE OUCCHHHHHHH!
The dentist is terribly vexed by the level of decay she says in Amy’s mouth at such a young age. She also brought in a specialist who did 5 root canals. She’ll have 5 more at a later date.

Dr. Worth consults with Dr. Haworth via videophone(?) and tells him that Amy has a serious mouth infection and can’t undergo the jaw implants at this time. They decide to postpone her plastic surgery about 2 weeks so Dr. Worth can work to get rid of that infection.

Dore has her surgery as scheduled the next day. She had lots of stuff done. At least Dr. Dubrow kept a sense of humor. Dore says to the doc, “I’ll see you at the pageant.” She’s maintaining positivity and it’s helping her recovery process.

Amy’s surgery does happen two weeks later. The night previous, she got a package from her family. Her daughter sent her her special stuffed frog for luck and love. It was so sweet. Amy took it with her into the OR.

Dr. Haworth was settling in for a long surgery as the jaw implant could take some time. She had extensive surgery and will go through a lot of pain. Dr. Haworth cautions her to keep her mouth extra clean and to watch out for infection. She will have a very difficult recovery. A few days later, she goes home from the hospital with round the clock care. She can’t chew and is spoon-fed liquid. She tells the cameras she’s in too much pain to talk.

Dore’s recovery is going swimmingly. She’s happy though that she’s not near a mirror because she figures the sight of herself would freak her out. She’s probably right!

Amy misses her daughter so much. She said it’s harder than she thought and doesn’t know if she can make it without seeing her baby.

Dore gets a birth announcement of a friend’s grandchild. She’s sad and feels like she’ll never belong to the “mommy club”. She and Dr. Ianni are working on that in therapy as well as the grief from the miscarriage. They also must face the hard fact that Dore may never have a pregnancy again at her advanced age.

She feels cheated and angy. Dr. Ianni tells us that Dore can’t change the situation but can change how she reacts to it emotionally. (That’s true for all of us in any situation!)

Cut to week 7 — Amy is still on a liquid diet (poor girl!). She says, “I hope this is all worth it.”

Dore is working out in the gym. Debbie says she’s working hard and is trying so hard to lose weight, but it’s hard due to her sluggish metabolism.

Amy’s preparing for her final surgery on her eyes. They’re putting a lens in there. The specialist says Lasik wouldn’t even help her. Her vision is so bad.

At the end of the surgery, Amy hugs the surgeon in relief. She can see without the aid of glasses for the first time since 3rd grade.

Now, for the reveals.

Amy is first. Amanda told her she looked “hot.” Amy said the jaw implant was the hardest part. She had to learn how to chew, how to open and close her mouth and the liquid diet was rough.

She sees herself in the mirror and all the hard work is worth it. She’s happy to “have a waist.” She things the whole package works and Nely said, “Amy looks like a rock star.”

Now, it’s Dore’s turn. Dr. Dubrow says he wanted to “preserve her exotic Polynesian look but turn back time.” He did that. Dore marvelled when she saw herself that she looked 10 years younger. She had such an amazing figure. It’s obvious she worked hard in the gym. She said that the Swan taught her to respect and care about herself. For her, the therapy was the hardest.

In the end…who do you think was the final swanling to go to the pageant?

Hmmm…..

Let us think……

Dore is 40………….

Amy is 27………………….

Dore looked better and worked harder in the gym ………………..

Amy got more surgery……………….

It’s a no-brainer — AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huge surprise, right! I can’t believe that the ‘most unique pageant ever devised’ would not want a woman over the age of 40 in it!

So, what do all the Swan hopefuls have in common…

I think they’re all blond….
In there late 20s to late 30s
and ……….they look suspiciously plastic…almost like Barbie dolls.

Despite this fact, I’ll be watching the pageant next week. It’s two hours (next monday, y’all!)

I can’t wait for my recap. Swans in swimsuits.

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Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. Do you disagree with me? Great. Don’t email me at panndyra@realityshack.com. If you love the Swan, why not buy the Swan Curriculum by Nely Galan and Bronwyn Garrity. It’s reviewed at the Reality Shack Holiday Gift Guide by moi, who else?

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