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Amazing Race 20 – Ep 5 – Once Upon A Time…

The Roadblock took place at an ice rink where teams play Eissteck-Schiessen – an ancient German sport. Better known as curling, without the brooms. Teams slide the Gnome across the ice and must have it touch a small blue circle to move on. The professional Eissteck-Schieesen player will give t he clue. Professional?!? There’s a pro league? I wonder if that league has bounties on players.

JJ and Danny finish quickly, and Ralph employs a neat bank shot to wrap it up. Nary is next, and she is supposedly great at targets, or so Jamie tells us. She is not. Brendon passes her, and Army Wife gets a bank shot of her own. Mark lands one as well. That left Nary and Kerri to battle it out. At one point, we see a graphic that Kerri had taken 69 chances, and Nary an astounding 180 chances. Wow. Kerri gets it first, and the Cousins are off. I am sure their navigation skills will not hurt them, right?

Upon arriving at the Pit Stop, JJArt wins a trip to Thailand and learn that they have a 1 in 7 shot at the million. Of course, that totally spoils the fact that this will not a second consecutive non-elimination leg. But the best part of the Pit Stop was – by far – the nasty spill taken by Brendon. The BB fool runs up to the mat, leaps with two legs, and slips and lands right on his coccyx. Heh.

In the end, the Cousins get lost. Of course. And the Feds catch up and pass them to stay alive. Kudos to Jamie for not giving her partner any hell for her inability to curl a gnome. And, on that sentence…on to Route Markers.

Route Markers
• I am looking forward to hearing the Dumbbells talk about something other than flirting, clubbing or anything else stereotypical. Fitness is a mad Tweeter, or at least a mad Re-Tweeter, and I really want to like him, but I’m waiting to see anything other than caricatures.
• Ralph and Vanessa are not old and have four divorces between them. Four. That’s just crazy. That’s Ross from Friends hysterical. Except I am sure it is less madcap funny, and more real life pathetic.
• Baby Rachel continues to claim that Brendon likes to quit things. Again…YOU said it first last week. Not him. This woman is frustrating. Thanks to LauraBelle for giving me a bit of history on them from Big Brother – knowing that Baby is smart and chooses to look and act stupid is frustrating as hell.
• Loved the beard guy who told JJArt that they were in Bavaria – drinking beer was a must. Clearly it was – it was the first thing in the morning and all of the beard dudes were downing some brews.
• Baby thought they were in Bolivia. Of course she did. Of course, I have gotten to the point where I believe nothing that comes out of her mouth. I still think she is playing this part – a la Johnny Fairplay – as a reality show character. Either way, it’s annoying and I would like it to stop. And take off those stupid fur hats!
• Uglier than mud rail pants? Did I hear that right? I hope so, because that’s funny.
• Best moment – upon finishing the Gingy task, the Cousins went for a celebratory hug and wound up smashing faces. HA! HA! HA!!!! Love it!
• Danny was never in a castle that old before. His only castle experience probably contained a sack full of burgers.
• Phil. Pitstop. Cows. That is all.

Detour – Beard: JJArt, Army Wife, Dumbbells, Stalker, Feds. Gingy: Baby, Cousins, Bopper.

Roadblock – Gnome curling. JJ, Danny, Ralph, Nary, Brendon, Army Wife, Kerri, Mark.

Order of Finish – JJARt (again), Dumbbells, Stalker, Army Wife, Baby, Boppers, Feds, Cousins (ELIMINATED).

Next week – Azerbaijan. Fire, water and spa treatments.

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