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Sell The Crap Out Of This Crap! – My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, Episode 4

by LauraBelle

As is the point of the whole My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, actor William August sets out to make fun of everything, from the nine contestants left on the show, to the world of big business, to the billionaire he purports to be, N. Paul Todd. By the end of the show, no one has learned anything they thought they would, and are only more embarrassed and confused.

After Elli had been let go, Whitney walks into to the temporary home she shares with the other eight contestants. Elli had promised the others if she won, she would walk in the door wearing Whitney’s frog costume. Knowing this, Whitney walks in wearing the suit, says nothing, and allows the others to believe she is Elli. The men don’t seem to care who walks in the door, as the only thing holding importance to them is that the women’s team is down yet one more person.

Oddly, there is no Executive Privilege this episode, and a phone call is received by the contestants with news that limos will be sent to pick them all up that evening. They are taken to Wolf’s Flea Market.

Inside, being met by N. Paul Todd, they are told that it’s time for a shakeup. He is bored with the whole men vs. women theme behind the two teams, and is noting at the same time that some of the team members are prettier than others N. Paul Todd will switch the teams at this point, aided by his faithful assistant, David, known for having quite a hankering for men. Todd says his goal is to have an equal number of attractive and non-attractive people on each team. As he moves them around like chess pieces, they are left to wonder who is being considered a king or queen, when in actuality, they are only pawns.

The teams now set, they are informed of their next challenge. They will be selling four bogus items, things that no one is their right mind would buy. They will be selling bottled air, a spray that makes foods lower in carbs, re-usable toilet paper, and ecologically safe tampons. N. Paul Todd peppers his talk with the insertion of the word crap wherever possible, and tells them their missions is to, “Sell the crap out of the this crap.”

Returning home that night, these wannabe business execs find boxes of these bogus items to get close and personal with, in order to better sell them the following day. As Rob is saying he doesn’t know if he can sell this “crap,” the others say there’s a sucker born every day. Rob begins referring to his mentor as F. Paul Todd.

The next day, not finding it easy to sell the ecologically safe tampons made of things like leaves, Tonia tells people they kill off odors, while most begin to tell their potential customers that they will increase a woman’s libido. Not coincidentally they are sold to mostly men. Trying to sell the reusable toilet paper, Whitney comes up with the character of Heather Simpson, telling people she is the sister of Jessica, which no one seems to question.

The next item up for sale is the bottled air. The contestants find it quite easy to lie and tell people it’s like a multi-vitamin that has our essential nutrients in it that our systems need. The men on Femron find it even easier to act as pimps, and sell the sex appeal of Whitney and Annette on their team. Whitney in a a tight t-shirt, even does jumping jacks to a make a sale. The last item up is the low-carb spray. Damian wants so badly to make a sale, and begins jumping around hawking it. The others on his Concad team feed of his intensity, and begin to make sales as well. Whitney and Annette sink lower, and begin to disrobe for their sales. A last ditch effort, when told a man will buy six, Whitney pleads with him to buy the remainder of her inventory of eighteen, which he does.

Everyone returns to the warehouse part of the flea market to determine the winner. N. Paul Todd makes a flippant remark that he doesn’t know why it’s hard to concentrate, obviously referring to scantilly clad Whitney and Annette. Jaime and his Concad team find with a total profit of four-hundred and thirty-nine dollars, they have lost to Whitney’s team with a profit of six-hundred and fifty-three dollars. The winners will go to a high end restaurant in Chicago for dinner, while the losers will dine in an abandoned aqueduct, with William August noting the purpose of this is to make the losers feel punished. As Todd, he also tells the losers he has tired of his catchphrase of, “Get the hell out of my office,” and between now and their board meeting, they will need to come up with a new catchphrase and hand gesture for him.

The winning Femron team feasts at the high caliber restaurant, reveling in their huge win. Meanwhile, losing Concad is dining on bologna sandwiches, wearing hard hats with stuff dripping on their heads underneath the aqueduct. They feel it’s quite unfair since they were beat by one last minute huge sale.

Night thirteen finds Concad in N. Paul Todd’s boardroom, finding out who will be let go next. Team boss, David, still feels his team played the best game and was beaten in the end by that one large sale. Tonia feels Femron got by relying on the attractiveness of the women, but adds she hasn’t stooped to that level, as it’s not her style. Non-politically correct N. Paul Todd tells her he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what it takes, if mother nature gives you breasts instead of brains, you have to use them.

N. Paul Todd then returns to asking them each what their choice for his new catchphrase and gesture should be. David has come up with “You’re gone!” with a thumb slitting the throat, and Kerry has come up with, “Ding Dong, the door is for you.” Damian resurrects a relationship breakup as his choice is, “It’s not me, it’s you.” with a clap. Tonia’s is a simple, “You’re dismissed,” with a little gun action, and Robert likes, “Hit the street, Kid.” while gesturing outside.

David now need to name his two firing nominess, and chooses Kerry and Tonia. Tonia because she has a lot of heart, but doesn’t produce, and Kerry because her creativity isn’t as strong. Asked by Todd if the guys are sticking together, David says no. Tonia disagrees, to which Jamie says, “Welcome to Corporate America, Lady. Don’t let your head hit the glass ceiling on the way out.” N. Paul Todd turns completely around in his chair, not facing them, and says, “Who cares?” Kerry speaks up and says, “I care. I one hundred percent want to work for you.” He replies, “So what?” Tonia speaks this time, and talks of that attitude not putting a roof over people’s heads, and not making people’s needs come true.

N. Paul Todd meets with his adviser on who to let go. Returning to the board room, his assistant David asks who, and Todd tells him he’s not going to give him a hint. As Kerry and Tonia are called back in the room from the reception area, Todd tells them he has good and bad news. The good news is that he has chosen one of their catchphrases, and the bad news is he will be using it on one of them. He says in another life they could be friends, but in this ilfe he is a billionaire, and his friends are presidents, dignitaries and kings. He looks at Tonia and says, it’s nothing person, but “You’re dismissed.” adding her little gun action afterwards, using her own catchphrase and gesture on her. She thanks him and leaves, leaving Kerry the new boss of Concad. As she leaves the building, Tonia says what she has learned is she is not interested in business.

The longer the show goes on, it seems the winners are those let go first. They weren’t as humiliated as the people are now becoming. How will Whitney feel to find she bared her body for a job that doesn’t even exist? Tonia is now abandoning her dream of a career in business because she believes she doesn’t want a part of that pretend world of N. Paul Todd. Yet, even as these lives are being ruined, it’s hard to stop watching it. William August makes it so delightful to watch him destroy these people. Drawing the obvious comparison to The Apprentice, it makes you wonder who loses more in the end, the people who were legitimately fired from a great opportunity, or those that are only being played with for our viewing pleasure.

I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com.

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