Meanwhile, Salami has a power team forming. Not just the women, but specifically Kim and Chelsea. And if these two beautiful women last a long time this season, well, I’m not going to complain. Kim really stepped up her game this week. She formed a sub-backup alliance with Jay and Troyzan in case she needed it. She sought the idol. Finally. I was wondering when one of the women would search for that damn idol! And she found it.
And then she put it in her crotch.
She really did. Because these women don’t wear anything other than tiny bikinis. Again, not complaining. But it does leave a lot to be desired in the pocket category. She came back and told Chelsea – “I just found the HII and it’s in my crotch.” You can’t make this up. I’m sure she will say nothing else that could be used as a joke about her crotch.
“To literally reach in there and feel it — maybe one of the best feelings I’ve had since I got here.”
Ok, maybe she will. Awesome.
If that wasn’t enough comedy for you, then Tarzan decided to step in and fill the void. As the Evil Queen spread the word that the physically-impaired tribe would be voting out its most fit woman, he came to Tarzan. And the older man was incapable of remembering Monica’s name. He had to be reminded of the existence of Monica Lewinsky to remember her. And the good Democrat in me cringed. Why couldn’t he go for a Friends reference?
At Tribal, we learned that not only does Tarzan have a kick-ass vocabulary, (and Leif does not) but he also suffers from aphasia. The inability to remember names. Thus the reason he kept calling Jonas, “Jason” last week. Not good in a game where you have to write down the names of the people around you in order to advance further in the game! Tarzan tried to explain why he has accepted the Evil Queen as his sovereign. He said he dropped his assertiveness to a different load star, to a different member, yada yada, but he can’t say who because the game is afoot. Probst tried to translate – and admitted he loved it, because it was like a game. Probst likes Tarzan in the way he loved Coach. The whole thing was punctuated with an awesome Scooby-Doo Zoinks moment when the Evil Queen whispered to Tarzan, “Do you remember what to do? (Vote Monica)” And Tarzan’s eyes bugged out in an incredibly comedic way.
These guys are crazy.
I felt bad for Monica, who never saw it coming. I didn’t think she’d be much based on her bio, but she proved to be one tough lady. And she had natural leadership skills – she just ran up against an a collection of dumb asses. She also became the latest in a long line of Survivors who got totally screwed by a tribal shuffle. Monica joins Silas, Bubba, Brian, Michelle, Aaron, Marcus, and Jacquie as some of the past Survivors whose departure was directly a result of a tribal shift. Cha is in bad shape now, and the other five could be on borrowed time as well. Most merges happen at 10, some with 12 left. With Monica out, there are 13 players left. Unless the next few challenges have puzzles and/or quizzes, Manamana could wind up at the Merge with down anywhere from 7-5, to perhaps 7-3.
Treemail Top 10
• Even if you never saw the previews, having Alicia yapping the first scene of how the women are seven strong and unbeatable, and how the men just handed them the prize, you knew that there was a “drop your buffs” moment coming.
• As if the vote out wasn’t bad enough – Monica took some terrible falls during the Reward Challenge. The challenge was essentially filling a bucket with a hole, Dear Liza, a hole. The weaklings held tight and almost won with some good hole-filling strategy, but in the end, they lost the PB&J sandwiches, coffee, and worst of all, the use of the camp. That’s right, they had to build a new one.
• This led to one of the few group “Peanut Butter and Jelly” chants ever. It also led to the Evil Queen comparing the two tribes as the Greek Gods vs. the Peasants. Or the Village People.
• Mike, Troy and Jay are in trouble and don’t even know it. Again, the muscle is expendable as their physical advantage is so strong over the other tribe that if they lose any challenges, they can sure afford to lose one set of muscles.
• Mike has crabs. No, really, he has crabs. And giant Jurassic Park crabs. And Troyzan tackled a chicken and is happier than he’s been since being the QB on the Central Valley Bears in 1979. Clear eyes, full hears, can’t lose. They have more food than I have. Meanwhile, Cha and Monica trapped a chicken, celebrated, and while they were, the bird escaped. HA!
• Poor Jay thinks that this is not still men vs. women. He may have a blindside of his own coming.
• I’ll say it again – why are they letting the Evil Queen get away with the things he says and does? He adds nothing to the tribe – he does no work. Why are they putting up with his crap – other than that they all think they can win against him in the end.
• Another nugget of truth from the E.Q. – in taking out Monica before Cha, he reasoned that everyone loves Monica, but no one is on Cha’s side. Monica could be dangerous, while Cha is always going to be on her own. In other words, she’s a free vote later on. Good point. But I’m still mad you took out that bikini, and left Tarzan’s in the game.
• I was stunned that Leif actually got to speak this week! Other than blabbing strategy to Bill. Of course, he said nothing other than made up words. Explinate? Really? I think we now know why he is getting the Brett Edit.
• One of the best Probst moments – after Alicia went on and on about how awesome Monica is, she paused and Probst saw what happens next. “I smell a but here.” That’s right, he smells a butt – and I am giggling like a pre-schooler.
Votes– Monica 5 (Evil Queen, Jonas, Tarzan, Leif, Alicia), Tarzan 2 (Monica, Cha)
Next week– Cha and the Queen fight. And someone gets hurt – but enough to get removed? Only Fans vs. Faves had two get removed for injury in the same season. History?