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Real Housewives of Orange County, Ep. 6 – “The Party’s Over”

Surgery, “nose job”, scream match, & hypocrites.

Tonight we pick up at Tamra’s Bunco party, where she introduces her special guests. No they’re certainly not ‘80s strippers. The husbands and boyfriends enter the restaurant clad in ‘80s style. Among them are Tamra’s boyfriend, Eddie, Heather’s doctor-husband, Terry, and Gretchen’s boyfriend, Slade, in all his douchebaggery (i.e. mullet, shades, leather jacket, smug attitude). Slade aggressively defends himself when confronted about his insults at the comedy improv.

“Are you suddenly a comedian?” Vicki’s keeping her distance and trying to stay calm while confronting Slade. “Since when?”

Um, I guess since the other night when he hopped on stage and told what he thought were funny jokes. See how well that went. Apparently it was a sold-out show and people laughed their asses off. I must have blinked and missed that part.

“I’m out. Bye. He’s a piece of sh**. My daughter is important. Not that guy.” Vicki tries to make a graceful exit, but finds herself drawn back inside to have the last word. She marches back in, eyes bulging and ready to tear a hole into Slade, and then Gretchen for jumping in at his defense. The two women get into a screaming match where Gretchen accuses Vicki of being a hypocrite.

“You are smoking crack, Vicki?” Gretchen has had it.

“Are you a mother?” Vicki’s taking things out of left field. Other worries are on the brain, understandably. “You are NOT a mother. You have no idea what it’s like!” She soon gets back on topic, “My boyfriend is none of your business!”

“That’s funny because Slade is none of your *bleeping* business!” Gretchen strikes back.

Vicki’s voice practically shatters glass. Ding, ding, ding! I declare Vic winner of this scream-off. Gretchen is left in tears and vents out her frustrations to Slade and Alexis. Basically Vicki can dish it out, but can’t take her own crap when it’s handed to her.

If Tamra had known Slade’s presence would upset Vicki so much, she wouldn’t have invited him. Why do so in the first place? She follows Vicki outside of the restaurant and tries to calm her down and keep her from leaving the Bunco party. “Don’t let someone like him get under your skin.”

Tamra already invited all of the guys — with the exception of Alexis’s husband, Jim — and couldn’t get Brooks there for some reason. So she couldn’t un-invite Slade. Really, Tamra? Really?

Vicki ends up leaving the Bunco party to see about her daughter and to get away from the drama. Heather’s shocked by what happened. It’s a school night and she’s being exposed to that monstrosity. Who needs that? God.

Gretchen tries her best to verbalize why she reacted as she did earlier, but that explanation goes around in a few circles and over my head.

Tamra asks Terry about removing implants. Gretchen brings up Lex’s nose surgery to take out her sinuses. Terry drops some factual surgical knowledge. Alexis overhears and decides to open her mouth. She immediately goes on defense mode when Tamra mentions her nose job.

“Tamra, I’m owning it. I have no problem saying ‘Yes I’m getting my bump fixed’.” Alexis claims this, but puts up a fight declaring she isn’t getting a nose job. She coughs up lugies and pulls strings from her mouth and has to take medication. We get it. Sure. Alexis will be getting her sinuses done, and wants to go ahead and take care of the hump in her nose. She’s killing two birds with one stone.

Heather walks over and quietly explains what the conversation at the table was about. They weren’t poking fun at Alexis or trying to get in her business. Alexis isn’t hearing that though. Plus she’s irritated with Gretchen for not sticking up for her. And she goes on, and on, and on scolding Gretchen for it.

Whew! So glad that Bunco party is over. On to more serious things, like Vicki’s daughter’s health problems.  Briana explains to her step-dad, Donn, why she’s going through surgery. He takes the news better than Vicki, which is a relief to Briana. And us.

Tamra comes by Vicki’s job with coffee — because it supposedly smoothes everything over — and tries to hear Vicki’s side of things. Brooks went to jail for the same thing Vicki keeps throwing in Gretchen and Slade’s faces, not paying child support. This comes across as a bit hypocritical, Tamra points out.

Alexis is actually going under the knife for her nose and the tears are pouring out. Vicki is trying to handle her own daughter getting surgery on her larynx to check out a lymph node. Briana heads to the hospital to have her thyroid removed. This procedure will finally settle whether Briana has cancer or not. The unknown will soon be known, and it’s frightening for the family wondering “what if …?”

Vicki is freaking out while driving her daughter to the hospital. Briana’s sitting in the passenger seat cool as a cucumber, and she’s the one going in for surgery. She’s the one in this potentially life-or-death situation. But it will affect loved ones and in turn, others of the O.C. bunch.

On the next episode: Tamra may want her implants removed. The conclusion to Alexis’s nose job — I mean, her surgery for health matters. The results of Briana’s surgery are to be revealed.

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