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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race, Mar. 11 – “Run Her Hard and Think Deeply”

The twins were eliminated last week after being indecisive on the Detour. You have to make commitments in this Race. It will cost something, even if it’s just positioning. Vanessa and Ralph barely came in before them, and hopefully they learned a thing or two. Perhaps it should have been more important to work on the task than make fun of Redhead Rachel. You think?

The first team to leave the pit stop in Paraguay are Border Patrol agents Art and J.J. at 5:10 PM. Their clue tells them to fly to Turin, Italy and choose a Ford Focus that they will drive to the Lingotto Building to get the next clue. After jokes that they didn’t bring their Italian loafers, Art thinks they should head to the travel agency to get their tickets. J.J. still doesn’t think they should ever be anything other than number one, feeling no one else has the intellect and strength that they do.

At the travel agency, Border Patrol hears about a flight that leaves at 9:15 AM and arrives the next day at 10:35 AM. Realizing this flight arriving the next day is the one that arrives the earliest, they know it will be a “mad scramble in Italia” as well. They arrive at the airport with plans just to get something to eat right away.

Big Brother team Brendon and Redhead Rachel leave nearly five hours later at 9:59 PM. They’re hoping this quick tour through Italy will be a nice preview of their upcoming wedding. Joey “Fitness” and Danny leave one minute later, and Danny admits he doesn’t know too much about Paraguay, except that “the girls are hot as hell over here.” Joey points out Italian girls aren’t too bad either, and Danny replies he’s not picky.

Kentucky team Bopper and Mark leave at 10:08 PM, as Bopper says, “We is going somewhere tropical!” He mentions that his 7-year-old daughter is very sick and on seven different respiratory medications, so this is the best opportunity he ever had to better her health. He jokingly asks Mark how many times a year he goes to Italy and hears, “Oh, about three or four.”

Federal Agents Nary and Jamie leave one minute later. They’re excited to go to Italy and decide to go to a travel agency to book their flight. Kentucky is headed to the airport and whistling at the pretty women while they go by, saying, “We’re not in Kentucky anymore.” Blonde Rachel and Dave leave one more minute later, and are also headed to a travel agency. Mississippi team Kerri and Stacy leave at 10:45 AM.

Brendon and Redhead Rachel are at a travel agency finding the same flight Border Patrol did. Joey and Danny arrive and are trying to play their game, just following them. The Federal Agents arrive, followed by Blonde Rachel and Dave. They discuss where other teams are, and he says he thinks Kentucky headed straight for the airport. Blonde Rachel figures they won’t get the same flight as the rest of them.

Kentucky enters the airport and eye up Border Patrol wanting to celebrate about going to Italy. They mention tickets, and Border Patrol gives them the bad news that they needed to get tickets at a travel agency first. They tell them to go all the way back. Art figures they’re great guys, and if they found themselves in a position to reciprocate, they would.

Vanessa and Ralph are the last to leave at 12:15 AM. and know they need to head to a travel agency. He refers to their last leg as the worst day of their lives. She never wants to see another watermelon as long as she lives. However, it’s given them a whole new appreciation for life today.

Back at the travel agency, Mississippi gets tickets for the flight. Vanessa and Ralph arrive and are told about two separate flights. She checks on the flights, and while she does, Vanessa and Ralph decide to pick apart Redhead Rachel’s wardrobe again. He asks if she’s wearing sequins, and in fact it does seem to be a glittery skirt over leggings. Vanessa makes mention of getting distracted by sparkly things, then says, “Holy disco thing, Batman.”

Kentucky enters a different travel agency and Bopper asks Mark to calm down. He says he is. Vanessa and Ralph make the same flight as everyone else, as Bopper and Mark celebrate with their tickets the fact that they’re going to Italy. Does this mean they didn’t get the same flight, but that we’re not being told about it yet?

Everyone is waiting at the airport, and they all start sharing tickets to compare seating assignments. Dave notices that Kentucky is leaving at 10:30, not 9:15 like the others. Danny tells them to see if they can switch their flight, but when they try, they’re told it’s full. They try to get on standby and are told everyone showed up. They bemoan being an hour an fifteen minutes behind everyone else and decide to pray, refusing to give up. Bopper knows they have to “run her hard and think deeply.”

The first flight arrives in Italy as all the teams rush to hop in their Ford Focus’. While he drives, J.J. complains about a lack of street signs. Brendon is having a hard time navigating the one-way streets, as Redhead Rachel remarks “Now I know why Italians hate Americans; we’re idiots.” Danny doesn’t trust Italian women, but Joey’s girlfriend is Italian, and he trusts here, so it seems to be an exception to the rule. Dave and Blonde Rachel argue over the visor being down, and he tells her not not be a wiseass. She pulls over and orders him to drive instead. Mississippi is far behind the others while they figure out the stick shift.

All the teams start arriving at the Lingotto Building at the same time, and it appears to be like a parking deck. The teams have to race up the ramp to the top, as Vanessa complains she’s going to die. The first team up is Border Patrol, and they find there is a Fast Forward. The team that completes it can skip ahead of all the other tasks and go straight to the pit stop. One of the team members must operate a remote-controlled helicopter while their partner wears a model of the Lingotto on their head. They need to land the helicopter on the hat. Border Patrol races for it.

and Redhead Rachel arrive next and seeing Border Patrol already going for the Fast Forward, decide to just go straight for the Roadblock. One member from each team must rappel down the inside of the spiral structure that resembles a parking deck and grab a clue within two minutes. If they fail, they must go back to the top and start over.

It looks like Redhead Rachel, Danny, Vanessa, and Jamie decide to do this Roadblock. I think that’s three in a row for Rachel. She did the cows, bottle dance, and now this. Border Patrol can’t believe this is all being done with a toy helicopter. Art is the pilot, and J.J. is wearing the building on his head.

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