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Survivor: One World – Ep 4 – Squashing The Beef, Or Whatever That Means

Holy moly. That’s the beauty of Survivor. 24 seasons and new crap happens. There have been dumb moments on Survivor. There have been moments of massive ignorance. This week, there were massive amounts of stupidity and ignorance that I honestly have no idea what to lead with. Lead with absolutely the dumbest move by a group of people in the history of the game, or lead with the stunning display of ignorance that ANY Survivor has ever shown.

No matter how dumb the tribe’s move was, it was really the ignorance of Gochran that fueled this episode. For those who didn’t see, I altered the nickname to Gochran from Gay Cochran the other day (editing last week’s column) after a former Survivor complained to me. I realized that some could take that as my making fun of his sexuality, when in reality, what I was really doing was making fun of his derivative nature. I saw him as just another Cochran. I can see I was wrong and so he needs a new nickname. You see, naming him after Cochran is simply an insult to Cochran! Cochran wasn’t an ignorant jerk, so why sully his name by linking them. Done. Finished.

To be fair, Colton also has managed to put himself into a position of power, something Cochran could never do. And before we get into the awful things he said and did this week, I need to ask a question – how the hell did these seven other guys allow Colton to assume the role of The Godfather? How? We watched Days 9-11 this week and Colton was in full control of the goings on in camp. In the first few days of the game, Colton was an outcast. So much so that the ladies gave him the Men’s assigned immunity idol. Flash forward just a few days and Colton is in control. Was it from his leadership? The example he set in camp? His challenge domination? His ability as a fisherman? His sparkling wit and personality?

No. It is either based on the amount of eye rolls that he produces per minute, or it is based on his possession of the idol. Clearly, it has to be the idol. And if so, why? Having the idol is certainly helpful and if used properly, it is something that can take you to the end. However, as several past Survivors can tell you, especially James, it also makes you a target. Colton seems to have let perceived power go to his head. Why are the guys kowtowing to him? It’s not like he’s made any brilliant moves. The Misfit Alliance was so obvious I came up with it. He’s spent tons of time with the women, and he does absolutely nothing to earn his keep. Why are they following him? That question needs to be answered before I call these guys anything but stupid.

It is such an obvious thing for them to have done – get rid of Colton now, or just the idol. Let’s just talk about the Misfit Alliance – Tarzan, Troyzan, Jonas and Leif. Remember, they have that extra member now – Jay. That’s five. Colton was blinded by his hate of Bill. He was voting for Bill. Boom. Vote for Colton and he’s gone, and you still have a 5-2 advantage. Or if Jay goes back to the Gym Rat Alliance, then you have a 4-3 advantage. If Colton gets wind of the plot, what can he do? Play it? Then split your vote – get Bill and Mike to vote for Colton, and break off two of your alliance to vote for Bill. So Bill goes, Colton has no idol, and you go after him at the next vote, and deal with his attitude.

But that’s not what happened. So why did that not happen? One thing I think could be the case – Colton’s game is a game plan designed to go far, but not win. These guys are looking at Final Tribal and taking a guy everyone hates to the finals. But they are not thinking about how they are going to get there. Colton is going to screw them over. They have to see that. The first chance he gets – whether it’s in a tribal shift or at the merge – he is linking up with the women. Our only hope as viewers are that the ladies will use him for his vote and then toss him aside. That would be poetic justice. One can only hope.

It’s the inevitable move from Colton to the women that could very well be the motivation for the single dumbest tribal move ever. The men won the immunity challenge and CHOSE to give the women the immunity idol instead, presumably for nothing in return. They volunteered to give up their one person advantage. Why? From what we saw it was so Colton could oust a guy he didn’t like. Was it just that? The logical part of my brain refuses to believe that eight men would choose to potentially surrender a million bucks in order to satisfy one small-minded individual’s spite. And yet, that’s what the show would have us believe. Part of me believes that Colton had more on his mind – hurt the men’s numbers in order to help the women after his eventual flip. At least there’s some strategy there! Instead, it is just bigotry.

Bill learned from Leif earlier in the episode that Colton had targeted him at the last Tribal. As a result, he sought out Colton to try and “squash the beef” with him. Now, I must admit that I have never heard of that expression – or Bill was just fantasizing about food. Anyway, so Bill tried to talk to him and Colton simply refused to talk to him and basically insulted him. Bill got into his face and called him a stuck-up brat and to be honest, it was really close to being physical as Colton tried to flee from the confrontation and Bill desperately tried to get heard.

According to what we saw, this is where Colton crafted the wacky plan to trade the immunity for nothing. The guys all seemed incredulous at first. Jonas said, “We just won immunity, and now give it away? I’m like, what?” And Jay, “Say what? Shut up. I think that’s a hasty decision.” No kidding! Kat said it well for her team – have they really lost their mind? Monica was amazed, “They have drama in their house after a win!?!”

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