Reward Challenge – The tribes line up and battle one on one, head to head in a memory challenge. Probst lines up some random trinkets. There are two handles in front of the two contestants. They race forward and attempt to memorize the order. Once they do they pull the lever and a curtain drops over the items and they return to the start to recreate the order. The quicker you memorize, the quicker you pull the lever and prevent the other tribe from memorizing. The first one to five wins.
Sabrina wins the first leg over Matt. This is symbolic of what was to come for Matt – especially since he finished first and was wrong. Just about as smart as thinking four beats five.
Monica repeats the same style win over Gay Cochran. Alicia demolishes Jay, and then the awesomeness of Kat vs. Troyzan begins. Seven times they have repeated the challenge because they keep getting things wrong. It’s high comedy – and it’s eventually won by Kat. Cha then beats Bill to close it out. Five-Zip. Losing streak is over.
Immunity Challenge – The classic standby. One person serves as the caller and must lead the blindfolded tribe through a course. They need to pull a rope and get doused with dyed water, freeing up puzzle pieces. Once they get them all, the caller has to solve a weird puzzle shaped like a tree. Bill and Sabrina serve as the callers, and it is a tale of two challenges. Bill rocks the first part, as Sabrina, for some reason, does not yell very well. The dudes open up a huge lead and have a several minute lead for Bill to solve the puzzle. He can’t. The ladies catch up, copy Bill’s work, and then Sabrina solves the rest of it quicker than he is able to. Two in a row.
Now, can the ladies keep the momentum? Just one more immunity win and this game is tied, and the first two episodes of futility matters not. I still hope for a tribe jumble soon, but I’ll settle for at least a fair fight.
Treemail Top 10
• Kat reminds me of the 80s movie The Legend of Billie Jean. Not sure if she can be Invincible.
• Jonas – “There is a massive ass storm coming in.” I really don’t want to know what an ass storm is.
• The ladies should have traded some canoe use for fire. It’s a very fair deal – especially since they didn’t have to include the fishing gear. Maybe the guys can fish like bears.
• Gochran is a Republican who doesn’t believe in handouts. I am really, really, really going to try hard to mock him for his bad Survivor play rather than for being a gay Republican.
• Bill had his buff wrapped around his head making him look like the weirdest Russian grandma in the world.
• Did I actually hear Bill tell Tarzan to do a reach around? Can they even hear themselves when they speak?
• Matt said he spent eight days creating power and now wants to execute someone. It’s as if he’s on a different show than what we were watching.
• Matt – Is my presence destroying the strategy? Tarzan – Yes it is. If Matt didn’t know he was doomed there, the next step was to smack him over the head with the immunity idol.
• I do give Matt credit for making a Dodgeball joke and calling the Misfits the Average Joes. I do not give him credit for the convoluted, bizarre chicken and rooster analogy he tried to sell to Troyzan. I mean, am I wrong, or did he just call himself a c*ck?
• Tarzan and Matt get into it at Tribal, allowing us to get Tarzan’s attempt at a Shakespearean line – “My heart is broken, he misinterprets me.”
Votes - Matt 7 (Tarzan, Troyzan, Leif, Gochran, Jonas, Jay, Bill), Bill 1 (Mike), Gay Cochran 1 (Matt) – Interesting that the Gym Rats are officially dead, as Bill voted for Matt and Mike for Bill. Self-preservation.
NOTE – I have gone back in to revise the column and re-nickname Colton. I received a tweet asking me to not use the nickname Gay Cochran. So, I am revising it to Gochran. I must make it clear, I was not mocking Colton for being gay, I was mocking him for being derivative. To my viewing eye, he simply reminded me of Cochran, and his sexuality, which he wears on his sleeve is a rather defining characteristic of the man. I take sensitivity seriously, even if I fear some of our society’s borderline obsession with political correctness. I can make my joke a bit more abstractly by merging the two words and being less obvious about it. I’d like to add, it was not Colton who requested this change, but another past Survivor whom I respect enough to make the change as per his wishes. So, Gay Cochran is gone, Gochran emerges, and maybe, just maybe, he shows me he is not derivative at all and I change the nickname. Since he shares the name of my Elementary School, I can probably find something else to call him. That is all – please respond when you see fit, everyone, and call me on my crap. I want this to be fun. Ok, enough seriousness, I’ll leave you with something ridiculous.