by Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos
Announcing kid-friendly Reality TV shows!
Yes, folks. We’ve listened to you and have decided that it’s high time that you have some reality tv shows that you can watch with your children. We believe that children have the right to deserve their own batch of Reality TV shows. (Call it payback for all those SpongeBob Squarepants marathons on Nickelodeon, folks!)
Coming in Fall of 2005, you’ll see the following shows on major networks:
* Trading Lunches — follow a group of 2nd graders as they bring healthy lunches from home and negotiate for twinkies, cupcakes and other unhealthy fare. See mom’s reactions when they discover exactly what their kids ate!
* Grade Swap — this show is still in development. Producers can’t decide whether to have children swap their grade levels or their actual grades on a report card. Either scenario is bound to lead to drama.
For example, Little Joey is a smart guy in kindergarten with a bladder control problem. They send him to AP Calculus at the local high school.
—Will he make it through class without a nap?
—Can he do differentials while keeping his pull-ups dry?
Another scenario has Jake, the dumbest kid in class. (Sorry. Not dumb. He’s a ‘slow’ learner!) switches his grades with Harriet. She gets straight A’s.
—Will Harriet jump out her second-story window when she sees her report card?
—Will her parents sue the district?
* Safety Patrol — follow a bunch of hall monitors and safety patrol types as they go through their rigorous training. Will little Susie be able to help Johnny, Becky and Jo cross the street? There’s a bus coming. Watch out!
* Last Class Clown Standing – see a group of school-age comedians compete for fabulous prizes (like coupon books to local restaurants and pencils). Each week there will be a head-to-head competition — in detention. Teachers vote on the most disruptive act. Special bonuses are given to the students who can make milk come out of their classmates noses.
* He’s a Bully – follow a new nerd-turned-bully each week. See the transform from nerd to king of the ‘herd’. At the end, the nerds must compete in a competition where they
– stuff each other into lockers
– come up with an aggressive marketing plan for garnering lunch money profits
– and much, much more!
** Yes, I really am this sick. Contact me at email@example.com with questions, comments or just to say….”HEY, your writing makes me shoot coffee out my nose!”
Scrambling to get your holiday shopping done? Interested in reading some witty and informative product reviews? Check out the RealityShack Holiday Gift Guide today!