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Real Housewives of Atlanta, Ep. 14 – “No Bones About It”

Fashion, Bonding, Sex talk, and African Safari pt. 3. 

Fresh off of their emotional trip to the orphanage, the ladies find themselves in a place of peace and harmony with one another. They come together for breakfast and get along, surprisingly, reflecting on the trip thus far and realizing how blessed they are. And Marlo needs the waiter, please! Raise a toast ‘to giving’. For more culture, Phaedra plans a trip to a local museum for the women. We learn that if a man wants to fetch a woman, she has no say about it. That doesn’t sit too well with the Atlanta wives.

They visit an herbalist, who from here on out will be known as the medicine man. “The woman doesn’t touch his medicine. Only men.” Well, I’d never! He pulls out some “bones” and tells the women about their lives. Honey, Phaedra needs her Prayer cloth.

As for the “readings” from the bones:

-Phaedra politely passes on a reading from the medicine man’s bones.

-Marlo has yet to find the right man. Not that she believes in this mumbo-jumbo crap anyway.

-Cynthia is happy where she is, but as for a happy marriage, that’s up in the air.

-NeNe does not like the relationship she’s in, even though he’s a good man according to the medicine man.

-Kandi will marry the man she lives with—even though she doesn’t live with a guy at present and her last love passed away. Hmm.

-Sheree’s too old and will not marry again because of that. Uh, that’s pretty rude, Medicine Man.

Well, we know where women stand in this culture. Ready to go back to Atlanta, anyone?

Sleepover at Marlo and NeNe’s “old mansion”! Can you believe it? Can you believe all 20-something pairs of high heels Marlo’s decorated the old-fashioned room with? Me either. It’s like a shoe store in their room. Where’s my shopping bag?

Pull out the wine because it’s time for girl talk, or shall I say, sex talk. Marlo even demonstrates a position on Kandi. Hot stuff. It’s just amazing how sex brings everybody together and laughing, getting along. There’s tea-bagging and I’m quite sure no sweet tea is involved whatsoever. It’s a good time, and then Kandi brings up how Marlo flaunts her fashion labels. Light mood. Now killed.

I have to say, it’s so refreshing to see NeNe and Sheree being cordial and civil towards one another again. And leave it to Cynthia to announce it. Well it’s not going to last long now that they’re aware of it. Thanks a lot.

Marlo gives a Jennifer Lewis-like yell and explains how she “loves fashion and bleeds it.” Fashion is her life. We get it.

Something happens between the previous night and the next morning because Marlo wakes up terribly ill. Diarrhea, vomiting, nausea, the works. Germaphobe NeNe decides to stay with her fellow Tall pal. The rest of the women commence on their safari outing. Maybe the Witch Doctor a.k.a. Medicine Man with his special “bones” put a hex on Marlo for not believing in his powers. Suspicious.

While in the jeep, the women miss most of the animals on the safari trail, running their mouths about Kim (where the heck has she been?) and Marlo. Even when absent, Marlo makes an appearance in conversation. Cynthia implies she doesn’t like Marlo’s personality. Which if I’m correct, means you don’t really get along with the person. Since their personality is a big part of that.

As soon as Phaedra, Kandi, Cynthia, and Sheree sit down to a pleasant and quiet lunch, the sound of another jeep catches their attention. I knew it was too quiet. Just too pleasant. And stepping out from the jeep is none other than NeNe, complaining about bugs and whatnot. Now that Marlo’s taken care off at the “old mansion,” NeNe can’t let The Smalls persuade Cynthia over to their side. In the presence of the Tall Boss, Cynthia changes the script and likes Marlo again. Make up your mind, girlfriend.

Since Kandi brings up Marlo—yet again—NeNe informs the Smalls that Kim is their captain.

Speaking of the captain, Kandi, Sheree, and Phaedra report to Kim and update her on the African safari trip. Correction—Sheree dishes to Kim all the details of the trip and throws Kandi under the bus in the process. Basically Kandi didn’t think Kim would come to Africa, let alone the orphanage, and hold black babies. Or at least that’s how Sheree put it. Well Kim is Sheree’s bestie and that’s where her loyalty lies—forget the other Smalls.

Kandi addresses the elephant in the room (i.e. phone convo with Kim), during dinner. This is pure entertainment for NeNe. A divide in the Smalls dealing with boss lady, Kim. Kandi—yet again—decides to come forward and verbalize some issues they’ve all had with Marlo, particularly her flaunting the designer labels. Night ruined. Again. Kandi’s on her own with this one as no one else steps forward to co-sign. Even though they had a mouthful to say about Marlo in less than positive light when she wasn’t around, or agreed with what was said about her. Looks like a dent is forming in some friendships. The Talls and Smalls aren’t as strong as they were before the trip. This was a great episode to have a drinking game to: any time you hear “Marlo”, take a guzlet of your drink, as Andy Cohen would say.

Next episode: The women return to Atlanta and civilization and Kim actually reenters the pictures. More screen time. It appears there’s going to be some friction between Sheree and Kandi as they report to the boss about that phone convo in Africa. Kim isn’t pleased.

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