Surreal Life 3′s last episode – The Best and Worst Moments – is predictable, but a good send-up of the six different personalities living in the house. Mostly, as the cast details their best and worst moments, it doesn’t answer questions, but instead confirms the already heavily suggested. Dave Coulier said it best when he said that all of the characters in there are larger than life, and in light of that, he’s never found himself to be more normal.
Asked to pinpoint their best moment in the house, half of the cast picked the day they had the Battle of the Bands, when in pairs, the celebrities were grouped with child musicians to create their own bands. Flav-A-Flav points to the band he created with Jordan Knight and winning the battle, as his high point, pointing especially to his child accordion player. She says Flav-A-Flav taught her she could really rock that accordion.
Brigitte Nielsen also thought of her day of working with Dave and the child musicians as her high point. After the competition, the boys in their newly created band encouraged Brigitte to push the emcee, Brady Bunch’s Barry Williams, into the pool. As she helped him into the pool, the young boys told her, “You’re so cool!” Working with them, she said, made her think of her own kids, and made her cry.
Ryan Starr also felt her best moment in the house was that day. She and Charo had formed a group with a very talented young female rock singer. Madison had been a fan of Ryan’s from American Idol, and by the end of the day, Ryan felt she was a bigger fan of Madison’s, than Madison was of her.
The day they learned to surf with the famous surfing Willis brothers, was what Dave chose as his favorite moment in the Surreal Life house. When he came back to shore, after surfing for the first time, everyone had told him that was amazing. Jordan also chose a day that pointed to a personal accomplishment, the day they cut the Surreal Life single. But instead of pointing to his own success, he pointed to what he had to put up with, Ryan crying and Charo screaming.
Lastly, Charo chose a personal highlight of her own too – the day before they learned to surf when she played a concert in the casino with her housemates all in the front row. She was excited to be there, as the stage is her home. At the end of her one-woman show, Charo pulled the whole Surreal Life cast onstage with her, then played a special song she had written just for Brigitte, and told the audience Brigitte had bigger boobs than her.
Both Dave and Brigitte felt the evening spent at the haunted hospital was their worst moment. Dave says it freaked him out, and that normally not many things scare him. He says it was the weirdest, most awful thing he has ever experienced. Brigitte, who had investigated the hospital along with Flav-A-Flav, says they still don’t know if it was real or not, or whether they had been set up. She adds she had nightmares about it that evening.
Flav-A-Flav talks of the day he acted like a spoiled child as being his worst day. He had wanted to drive home from the casino, but without a driver’s license, the other passengers wouldn’t let him. He says he stopped brooding only because he wanted it to be a happy show.
When Jordan couldn’t find his own room with a working door on it waiting in the house just for him, he thinks that was his worst moment there. He eventually hijacked the phone room into being his bedroom, and stacked boxes in the doorway to act as a makeshift door. When a drunken, sleepy Brigitte tripped over the boxes wearing only an apron, chef’s hat and thong, Jordan thoughtfully placed the boxes outside of the room. Oddly, this is the moment Brigitte is most proud of, as she says that’s the real her.
Ryan’s worst moment was date night. Each of the three women spent alone time with each of the three men. Ryan felt Flav-A-Flav was particularly rude to ask her personal questions. When Ryan wasn’t succumbing to his charms, Flav-A-Flav asked if she was a lesbian. He followed this question by asking if she was a virgin. Ryan says her mistake was holding her anger in, and not letting him know immediately when he upset her.
Curiously, Charo never mentions a worst moment, but both she and Brigitte feel one of their most favorite moments was their last dinner together. Walking in and finding displayed across the table pictures of their stay in the house, the cast read out loud cards they had written for each other. Brigitte wrote to Ryan saying if she was a man, she would be in love with Ryan. Ryan felt a little weird after that, and wondered if Brigitte was bisexual, in love with both her and Flav-A-Flav.
Ryan, for her part, decided to let bygones be bygones, and wrote a thoughtful card to Flav-A-Flav. She told him in the card that it had been a wild ride with him, full of ups and downs, but she saw moments of sweetness and caring, and respected him for his talent as a musician, and added a P.S. saying hopefully he learned how not to speak to her. Flav-A-Flav seemed sincerely touched by this, and thanked and hugged Ryan.
Flav-A-Flav obviously still angry about Ryan’s words about him during the Dirty Laundry show, wrote cards that weren’t very heartfelt towards anyone but Brigitte. He told Ryan to be good to herself, told Dave it’s been real, told Jordan he wasn’t the oldest kid on the block, told Charo he loved her, and saved the warmest for last and Brigitte, as he told her he loved her, and wanted her to keep loving him, and said there was no place for anyone else. Clearly, he was warm with the only person he felt would not reject kind words from him.
Dave’s note to Brigitte said that it was tough for him to around her and the nudity and cigarettes, etc., but putting that aside, he found her to be caring, open, and intelligent, straightforward and true to herself. True to Dave’s nature, this was the most honest words spoken the whole night. He seemed to be the only one in the house that could cut through the lines of BS.
As the show wound up with their advice to the Surreal Life 4 cast with such meaningless things as “bring earplugs”, I thought of how my feelings of these six had changed. Flav-A-Flav, I had no pre-existing thoughts on, but felt he was too scared to be himself, so was too often over-the-top. Jordan, my thoughts didn’t change much on – he doesn’t have much going other than his New Kids On The Block. Charo is much more than a seventies Love Boat joke; she has amazing talent and is very maternal. Ryan is more complicated than we were shown on American Idol. Brigitte covers up her loneliness with the booze, but is very caring underneath, And Dave, oh Dave, he was certainly not the one-schtick routine I thought of him as since Full House. He has so much more going for him than that, and it boggles my mind that his career has been in obscurity since Full House ended. Listening to the song Jordan wrote, as the show closed, perhaps Jordan has more going for him than I have been giving him credit for. The whole season can probably best be summed up with those words he wrote and Ryan skillfully sang, “I just want to live my life.”
I welcome questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com