Every reality show has a prize at the end. Although it’s not monetary, Surreal Life’s prize is nonetheless valuable. Every one of the six celebrities took something valuable away.
As the final show opens, Bridgette and Flav-A-Flav are in bed together, with Bridgette obviously naked. Dave is playing roller hockey alone on the tennis court, Ryan and Jordan are still asleep, and Charo is attacking a watermelon in the kitchen. Flav-A-Flav jumps out of the bed and starts shouting and banging on the drums. After originally bouncing around naked to the music, Bridgette calls him on it right away, knowing he is doing this loudness, solely to irritate Ryan after she dissed him on the Dirty Laundry Show with Sally Jesse Raphael the day previous. Bridgette advises Flav-A-Flav to apologize to Ryan. I’m not quite sure what she wants him to apologize for. There’s not one big thing he’s done, just several little things that infuriated her.
The Surreal Life Times arrives with the headline, “The Last Supper! Cast to Break Bread For Last Time.” On the inside, the paper is asking if Jordan will ever forgive Flav-A-Flav for using his toothbrush on his gold teeth. Jordan and Flav-A-Flav both look astonished, and it is never cleared up for us whether this is true, or a put-on by the Surreal Life times people.
Later, Dave is on the phone with Luc, his son. They discuss Dave getting to keep the Surreal Life house puppy. When asked the puppy’s name, Dave, realizing the puppy has been called Boogie, Fatso, Poochie, Buster and Bosco, tells his son it hasn’t been decided yet, but thinks when they return home, he can be called, “Winger.” Flav-A-Flav, who last week was show beating the puppy, tells Dave he doesn’t like the name Winger, and that it should be Bosco. Dave says his son wanted to call him, “Heckler.” Flav-A-Flav tells Dave that’s a corny name. Dave tells Flav-A-Flav his son should have the privilege of naming the puppy what he wants.
Flav-A-Flav is grilling ribs, and as Charo approaches him, he gets mad that “the grill” burned his ribs. Of course, he couldn’t accept responsibility for it to be HIS fault. Charo, as Bridgette did, encourages Flav-A-Flav to make it right with Ryan. Apparently Flav-A-Flav has other plans. He says Ryan is a spoiled kid that was only on American Idol, and didn’t even win. He feels he is an icon and a legend, and feels Ryan has a long way to go to reach his status. Funny, as before Surreal Life, I had heard of Ryan Starr, but not Flav-A-Flav.
?The three women – Bridgette, Ryan and Charo – are getting ready for dinner, and Charo throws a towel at Ryan, who squirts water at Charo. This erupts into a full-fledged pillow fight between the three women. Ryan says she feels like she is in Girls Scouts again. Their pillow fight over, no real winner decided, the three do their hair together. For the first time, I really, really like Ryan. She is so much more comfortable this way.
Everyone but Flav-A-Flav enters the dining room for “The Last Supper.” They enjoy looking at the pictures that are laid out of their time in the house. Flav-A-Flav enters and makes an immediate ass of himself with his shouting. As they eat, he won’t stop shouting, and the other five are getting angry. Even Dave admits Flav-A-Flav is getting out of hand. Bridgette asks Flav to not eat so sloppy, and Flav-A-Flav gets upset with her for trying to change him. Bridgette tells him if he’s not interested in changing, he can’t be interested in her.
Charo tells Flav-A-Flav it’s their last dinner together, and tells him to lay off. Even Dave tells him to “Just shut up for awhile.” Flav-A-Fav gives in and says, “I quit. I quit.” He is silent for a few minutes, then shouts out his name … once again. The tension is cut somewhat, and Ryan finally lets loose, just like she did with the pillow fight, and starts a cake fight, throwing it at everybody.
Flav-A-Flav and Bridgette enjoy their last hours together with a late night swim. Once again, a fight erupts out of Flav-a-Flav digging in his heels, not wanting to change, and Bridgette insisting if he wants to be with her, he has to change a little. Ever since learning his real name is William Drayton, Bridgette has insisted she likes Flav-A-Flav, but loves and prefers to be with William.
The last Surreal Life times arrives with the headline, “So Long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen, Get Out!” At 4:30, Jordan is waking Flav-A-Flav, telling him it’s time for Jordan to go. As Flav-A-Flav walks him to the door, Jordan says the show has helped him break out of his shell. He admits he’ll always be a private person, but feels he learned how to have close ties and a deep personal connection with people.
As Flav-A-Flav walks Charo out, he tells her she touches him, and that he’s learned a lot from her. She adds that she’s learned Flav-A-Flav is okay, and just wants to be loved. Deep down, below his over-exuberance, I know this is true. His narcissism, yelling his alter ego’s name over and over, is brought out by his insecurities. Ryan tells Charo she’ll definitely keep her in her life, and that she’d be honored for Charo to be her mentor. As she is driven away, Charo says, “There is so much love in these peoples.”
As Ryan leaves, she says she’ll stay in contact with everyone, including Flav-A-Flav. She can talk to him about music, as they can connect on that level. I think the music brings both of them out and away from their insecurities. As, all along, what has kept them on edge with each other, is their insecurities with themselves, and seeing themselves in the other. As she is driven away, Ryan says she feels like the luckiest person in the world, to have spent time with all these talented people.
Bridgette is leaving, and Flav-A-Flav tells her, “Can’t nobody do what you did to me.” Bridgette says she loves Flav-A-Flav, and she feels she has been herself for the first time in her life. After her departure, Flav-A-Flav yells, “Dave and Flav!” and adds their friendship will be the one that will definitely go on after Surreal Life. Dave says he knows Flav-A-Flav is sensitive and means well. Flav-A-Flav says his time in the house was, “Mackadocious!” With him gone, Dave notes how quiet it is, picks up “Winger,” and says he has learned a lot as well. He has learned that even though these people are so unlike him, he can still learn a lot. No need to extrapolate on that. Dave said just the right thing … again.
This wasn’t the final finale. Next week VH1 will air a Behind the Scenes show of the best and the worst from Surreal Life 3.
I can be reached for questions and comments at LauraBelle@realityshack.com.