by Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos
Tonight’s first Swan was Erica Moore, a 25 year old girl from Washington. She was adopted and teased for it as a child. Her mom is Japanese and she made a comment that “Erica will never be a fashion model.” Hmm? Wonder if there’s any mommy issues? Erica lost 90 lbs over the last several years. She weighed 240 at her all-time high. She said her ex-boyfriend was a ‘black cloud’ in her life. (I think many of us have exes like that, or is it just me?)
She said that, on the inside, “I’m dying.” She wants the “wow” out of life, but seems to be looking at external factors for getting it. Dr. Ianni wants to help her ‘grow up.’ Thank you, Dr. Ianni. I’d b**ch-slap her, but that’s why you’re the therapist and I’m just a “D-list” reviewer.
Nely feels she has to help her find her mission and to stop blaming others for her problems. Alleluia, you sing it, Nely. I’m wid ya.
Erica’s Swan Program includes:
*breast augmentation (and lifting!)
*workouts twice a day, 6 days a week
*1,200 calorie a day diet
Christina Ozuna, the second Swan, is 30 years old. Her husband’s in the Navy. She has low self-esteem and doesn’t feel she’s good enough for him. She also has an 8 year old daughter and some serious abandonment issues stemming from her father’s departure after her parents’ divorce when she was still very young.
Her husband mentioned that Christina feels worse about herself and is more self-conscious since she’s lost 30 lbs. Dr. Ianni and Nely are concerned about that and really want to work with her internal transformation.
Christina wants to show her daughter how to have a good self esteem because she can’t teach it to her now, but hopes that the Swan Program will give her the ability to do so.
Christina’s Swan Program includes:
*full mouth reconstruction (OUCH!)
*photofacials to even out her skin tone
*1,700 calorie a day diet
*workouts 2 x per day, 6 days per week
both of the ladies need to lose about 30 lbs on the program. Christina feels daunted; Erica feels excited. She says she’s going to lose the 30 — and more. She’s even saying she’ll win the pageant. Yeah, let’s see how you feel after surgery!
Christina is putting up some major resistance. She says the trainer is “absolutely insane”. In the meantime, Erica tells the dentist she doesn’t want veneers. I can’t understand why. She says she wants to ask her parents before making her decision. Oh, grow up. You’re 25! In the end, she decides to go ahead with the veneers and cries afterwards that, “I didn’t expect the Swan Program to be this hard!” I’m not sure what show she’d been watching, but the Swan Program ain’t no picnic.
Christina tells her plastic surgeon that she wants DD breasts. Other than that, she’s pretty anxious about the whole surgery thing. Erica’s going to have some boob issues of her own. Hers don’t match and they droop a lot. Regardless, her attitude is more positive than Christina’s.
After surgery, Erica begins the recovery process and is doing well; Christina decides not to wear her chin strap. She’s in a lot of pain and she develops some nodules in her neck. The doctor warns her that if she doesn’t wear the chin strap she could get blod clots or worse and really harm herself.
In therapy, Erica does a role play. Dr. Ianni wants her to work on being more independent and to make her own decisions. She’s still got about 18 lbs to lose so it’s not all perfect for Erica.
However, Erica is working harder at the program than Christina. Nely decides to pay her a visit. She shows Christina her audition tape and asks her “where’s your commitment?” She also wonders “why are you sabotaging your well-being?” She also cheated on her diet too.
After Nely’s visit, Christina renewed her commitment to the program.
Now, it’s time for the reveal.
Christina was first. MY GOD! Those DD’s were a poppin’. Geez. Nely mentioned that Christina was so concerned with her family that she didn’t surrender to the program fully. Hmm. Guess I already know who’s going to the pageant, do you?
Christina cries when she sees herself. Of course, she does. I think the Swan’s sponsor should be waterproof mascara. They’ve gotta go through buckets of the stuff.
Hostess Amanda Byram asks Christina, “Was it worth it?”
Christina is like yes. WHen someone asks her what she likes best, she replies, “It’s a toss-up between my boobs and my teeth.” It always is, isn’t it? (No, I’m not sure what the means. Give me a break, it’s late!)
Before Erica is revealed, we hear that she’s done a lot of growing up. She enters and just looked so pretty like the burn victim from the first week. She was a knock-out and seemed to shine so bright. She cried in the mirror and said, “Oh My God! I’m so beautiful!”
God, shoot me, okay!
Then, she checks her breasts and says, “They look so perky.” Now, that’s a sentence I don’t want to hear uttered on National Television. UGH!
Erica went to the pageant. Christina’s husband didn’t get to see her, he was away at sea. I bet he’ll be happy when he does finally get home, however. His wife’s hot!
Christina did say her biggest lesson was: “Don’t forget about yourself” (or your DD boobs. Ouch!)
***Next week, there’s a twist. Two sisters will go through the Swan Program together. They have to compete. Only ONE goes to the pageant. Uh-oh! That’ll be the strangest sibling usage in a Reality TV show since BB5.****