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The Cat Who Choked On The Canary – Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 8

[i]by atarus[/i]

We start off the episode in the Lopevi camp. They are talking about the TC, and Chris says “we stay five, we’re solid and we can go to the end.” Julie says that she was glad that she was still there, she thought she was going home. We then get our dose of sexual tension, as Julie snuggles up to Sarge at the campfire. Chad remarks “at first I thought she was just cold, but the fire started blazing and she still snuggled up to him.” Chris says Julie is just wanting to solidify another three days. Sarge is excited, he says he doesn’t get to spend much time with 22 year old models. I’m with you there, Sarge, I wish I spent more time with 22 year old models as well. Next up, Sarge baring ass. Twila, Julie, and Sarge all get butt naked, literally. Chris and Chad see the trio mooning the Vanuatu coastline, and Chris yells “SARGE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Um, hello, he’s getting in trouble with his wife right now, that’s what he’s doing. Julie, in a confessional, says that if the guys want to keep her around for visual stimulation, that’s fine with her. And it’s fine with me too, Julie, it’s fine with me too.

On Yasur, we are given a long rant by Rory about how bad the Yasur women are. He says that if Scout and him stopped working, nothing would get done, Ami, Leann, and Eliza wake up late and sit on their asses, Leann wakes up crabby all the time, even with coffee, Eliza is a little kid and he has to teach her how to boil water all the time, and that Ami is riding her queen role and he wants to knock her down a peg. Yeah Rory, you are da man.

At the reward challenge, Scout goes on and on about how glad she is to see Twila. Twila just looks like she’s about to smack Scout upside the head. The challenge is a relay race, tossing water between buckets. The winner gets cookies, milk, and chocolate cake. Apparently Chris is a real milk lover. At the beginning of the challenge, everybody sucks. Near the end, just Ami sucks. Chris and Chad get a system going, and while Rory wrings out everything but his underwear into the bucket, Lopevi wins the reward.

Post-cake, Sarge feels awful, the sugar really made him sick. Twila mouths off about how Scout needed to shut up, and that the men would have to be stupid not to pick up that she’s still with the women. Next shot? Chris and Chad saying that Twila and Julie are definitely with them. Chris thinks Twila is too stubborn to go with the women. Rut roh. Chad makes a deal with Chris for final 2, saying that Sarge is unbeatable in the finals. Chris says that “I think both of you have a leg up on me.” And then both of them burst out laughing. Chris says that he’s just reassuring his position in the game, he’s also made final 2 deals with Julie and Sarge. If one happens to be taken out at merge, the other two will still have his back. (Does anyone else see an eerie similarity between Chris making final 2 deals at merge time and what Boston Rob did with Alicia right before merge? Hmmmmm….)

At the immunity challenge, the idol is broken. But luckily, they’re merging! The color is orange, and people are happy. Guess what? Another water/swimming challenge. Guess what? Another balance beam challenge! There are two heats and stuff, but I’ll spare you the exciting recap of the challenge and just say that Sarge wins handily.

Chris says that they merged, and for the first time he’s going to put the game behind him and have some fun with these people that he’s never met. Scout “missed Twila in places she can’t talk about.” And Eliza loves the leftover chocolate cake. It’s a party at the Lopevi camp. Rory pulls Sarge aside and starts telling him about Ami and what she did to him over at Yasur. He then talks to Chad as well, and the men all solidify the fact that even though they may have had problems in the past, they’re still solid, and their target is Ami. Rory feels like he’s the “cat who swallowed the canary,” he’s so excited.

The women paint the flag and each other, and Scout comes up with the merged tribe name Alinta, an Aboriginal word meaning “people of fire.” Eliza had missed the girls, especially Julie. Sarge is starting to realize it could still be men vs. women. Way to go Sarge, starting to use that brain of yours, huh.

Scout remarks that the guys are feeling uneasy. Chad and Twila get into an argument over Ami vs. Rory. Twila wants Rory, but Chad says Rory will help them with the numbers, Ami is the leader and needs to go. Eliza says the women are up in number 6-4, it would be stupid not to stick together. Chris says that Rory gives Lopevi the numbers, and that Twila is scared and insecure, and you need to strategize for her. Sarge then remarked that Ami has an aura, and when the girls get into it they do what she tells them. Sarge fears Ami is affecting Julie, and tells Twila that’s why they need to get rid of her. Chris says that “picking off the girls is what it’s all about” and that he has the numbers. Um, hello Chris? You are down 6-4 to women. Whoops. Ami thinks that Twila and Julie never left the women’s alliance, and Twila says somebody is going to be pissed at her, but she needs to cut their throat before they cut hers.

At TC, stuff happens. Julie flirts with Probst by painting Jeff with a heart on her chest. Rory says Vegas wouldn’t give him odds to get out of Yasur alive, and Ami says that she has a good attitude about twenty gazillion times. Leann votes for Rory, Rory votes for Ami. The votes are read, and in a 6-4 vote, Rory gets the boot. Chad and Chris and Sarge look dumbfounded. Actually, Chad and Sarge do. Chris just smirks and looks like he saw it coming. Eliza, on the other hand, has this dumbass grin on her face, and she turns to look at the men and she can’t stop grinning. Grrr I want to smack her.

On the next episode, Sarge gets his teenage angst on and he’s tired of the “I love you, you love me” vibe the women give off. And Eliza gets a pig and Sarge wants to eat it, but she doesn’t want to let him.

Rory’s final words: He’s a victim of a gender war, the women bamboozled the men, and he’s not a million dollars richer but he’ll never forget the Island of Fire.

My e-mail is atarus33@yahoo.com. Please e-mail me if you despise Ami and Eliza and are rooting for the guys to somehow turn this around.

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