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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

What’s Hot on TV Tonight – Joan Rivers Tries to Relax

What exactly is Joan Rivers doing here in this picture? You’ll have to tune in tonight to Joan & Melissa to find out. Catch up with all the TV you may have missed at TV-Links.

1. The View. John Stamos is today’s guest. 10:00 AM CT ABC

2. From Justin to Kelly. The movie that nearly killed Kelly Clarkson’s career before it started. TPTB wisely stopped there before a From Clay to Ruben. Think we’ll see a From Scotty to Lauren? 11:55 AM CT WoMax

3. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Simon Baker, Kristen Bell, and Adrian Romoff are today’s guests. Syndicated, check local listings.

4. Big Trouble in Little China. 3. A good movie, whether you’re into martial arts or not. Kurt Russell goes on a magical tale through Chinatown as seen in San Francisco. 3:25 PM CT Retroplex

5. College Basketball. Michigan State at Illinois. 6:00 PM CT ESPN

6. College Basketball. Clemson at Virginia. 6:00 PM CT ESPN2

7. The Biggest Loser. The Red and Black Teams compete with medicine balls and a trampoline, and the Aqua Teamq siblings come back to be weighed in. 7:00 PM CT NBC

8. 90210. Dixon gets arrested, leaving Annie to make a decision that could expose her escort career, Adrianna and Silver try ti fix things, but it ends up hurting Silver and Greg, and Vanessa plans a relaunch of Liam’s bar. 7:00 PM CT CW

9. Glee. The Warblers and New Directions rivalry intensifies as they get closer to the Regionals, Rachel and Kurt get news about their NYADA admission, and things between Mercedes and Sam heat up. 7:00 PM CT Fox

10. Switched at Birth. Kathryn and John invite Angelo for dinner, and Emmett moves into his dad’s place. 7:00 PM CT ABC Family

12. Texas Multi Mamas. In the first hour, despite the recent drama surrounding the group, Candace plans an all-day wine tour for the multi-mamas. On the bus, Tonia and Candace are appalled that Stephanie, Suz and Teryn won’t put down their phones. Casey arrives, and Stephanie breaks down and confesses that her marriage is in shambles. In the second hour, Candace agrees to meet Stephanie for lunch to talk things out, but the lunch turns into Stephanie rattling off everything she despises about Candace. Despite their rocky marriage, Stephanie and Jerald meet with their landlord and sign a lease for their new home. 7:00 PM CT WE

12. NBA Basketball. Denver Nuggets at Memphis Grizzlies. 7:00 PM CT NBA TV

13. Celebrity Wife Swap. The wives of Mick “Mankind” Foley and Antonio Sabato Jr. trade lives for a week. 8:00 PM CT ABC

14. Ringer. Bridget hosts the fundraises her friend holds for Juliet’s school, Siobhan is surprised how easily settled Bridget is in her former life, Malcolm starts working for Andrew, and Henry mourns his wife’s death. 8:00 PM CT CW

15. New Girl. Nick feels anxious when Julia doesn’t want to put a label on their relationship, Jess wants Julia’s help to get out of a traffic ticket, and Schmidt wonders why his shower towel is always damp. 8:00 PM CT Fox

16. Jane by Design. Jane needs to transport an important item to Paris, and Billy’s brother comes up with a criminal scheme. 8:00 PM CT ABC Family

17. Sorority Girls. Five sorority girls from American travel to Britain to launch their first ever sorority at Leeds. 8:00 PM CT TLC

18. Hidden City. Marcus Sakey explores three of Austin’s stories: In For Love or Money, Celeste Beard and her lesbian lover, Tracey Tarlton, have Steven Beard killed and end up in prison; The Most Hated Woman in America, Madalyn Murray O’Hair made many enemies when she led a landmark case which ended prayer in public schools and founded the American Athiests; and The University of Texas Tower, former Marine Charles Whitman barricaded the doors of UT’s tower and started shooting at people below, killing 16 and wounding 32. 8:00 PM CT Travel Channel

19. Dance Moms. Abby choreographs a dance with a bully theme and replaces Brooke. Brook goes on to learn a difficult lesson while cheerleading. 8:00 PM CT Lifetime

20. Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best. Melissa’s chaotic house is about to get a little too crowded when her boyfriend’s parents come for a visit. Joan shows the “in-laws” Hollywood as only Joan Rivers can – with a VIP tour of Madame Toussaud’s wax museum and an improvised “tour of the stars homes” that she makes up on the spot. As Joan’s patience begins to wane, she is desperate for a little break over a glass of wine with her friend Lynne, but Lynne has other herbal plans to get Joan relaxed. 8:00 PM CT WE

21. College Basketball. Vanderbilt at Arkansas. 8:00 PM CT ESPN

22. Raising Hope. Burt becomes obsessed with gambling when he tries to reclaim the t hings he lost twenty years ago. Jimmy and Virginia try to prevent it, only to end up with their own gambling habit. 8:30 PM CT Fox

23. Southland. Sammy leave a gang territory uncovered on Hood Day as a violent gang war erupts. Ben is haunted by a mistake, Ruben practices a speech, and Cooper and Tang investigate a robbery. 9:00 PM CT TNT

24. Justified. Raylan eds up on a collision course with Dixie Mafia’s new head, and Boyd fights to get part of his family’s empire back, leaving his crew in danger of falling apart. 9:00 PM CT FX

25. Ink Master. Naked women enter the scene, and a fight is caused by a another head tattoo. 9:00 PM CT Spike

26. Tabatha Takes Over. Tabatha visits Pat’s Hair Shopper, trying to change the attitude of the owner and staff. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

27. The Undercover Princes. Three bachelor princes travel to Brighton England to find Princesses, and to do so, go undercover as ordinary people. 9:00 PM CT TLC

28. America’s Supernanny. Deborah works with a family in Minnesota with four out-of-control children. 9:00 PM CT Lifetime

29. Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. Baby Hattie enters the world, and the family moves to a new home. 9:00 PM CT Oxygen

30. Teen Mom 2. Kaitlyn has her hearing postponed, while Jenelle is sentenced. Chelsea tries to get over Adam, and Corey learns Leah was unfaithful. 9:00 PM CT MTV

31. NBA Basketball. Memphis Grizzlies at Portland Trailblazers. 9:30 PM CT NBA TV

32. Conan. Chris Kyle and Simon Helberg are tonight’s guests. 10:00 PM CT TBS

33. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Tonight’s guests include First Lady Michelle Obama, Mark Harmon, and Imelda May. 10:35 PM CT NBC

 

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