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Swan Reunion: Mirror, Mirror on the wall…

I am a big fan of the Swan. I admit. I like seeing trolls turned into goddesses. I know that’s harsh, but some of these poor women really do need these makeovers. The one thing I hate about this show, despite the fact that they say to the contrary, is that it seems to say that if you’re beautiful on the inside it shows because you’ll be beautiful on the outside.
That’s not always true.

Most of these women were beautiful before their transformations. They just didn’t know it.

The reunion gave a recap of what the ladies are up to since the pageant and a brief preview of Season 2, the first episode of which I will review shortly.

Hostess Amanda Byram, a true beauty herself, walked out on the pageant stage, looking oh so stunning. (I hate her! Nah, just playing!)

They start by mentioning that Kelly Alemi got engaged. She and her boyfriend proudly told America that they made up for all the lost intimate moments they hadn’t had before because of Kelly’s low self-esteem within the first week of her return. Thanks.

Kelly, who looks a bit like Barbie (TM), said, “I”m happy with who I am now and no one can take that away from me.”

Self esteem does come with huge tatas, I suppose. When I was pregnant, I felt awfully ’empowered’.

Next up was Belinda Bessant, the former model. She lives in Las Vegas and is so happy now that she’s a Swan. She has a boyfriend and confidence. They show her talking to her son and he says, “Mommy, I’m getting bigger and you got little.”

Her quote: “I’m so happy. I love my life now.”

That’s great, Belinda.

Beth Lay had the husband who kissed another woman and she couldn’t get past it. She wouldn’t leave him either because, as she said, “I was afraid that no one would ever love me.”

Thank God this program includes therapy. These ladies need it.

She was also the 1st runner-up in the pageant. She’s gained a few pounds and feels self-conscious about that, but otherwise, everything’s great. She has more confidence in her life and her marriage.

Kathy (can’t remember last name) was the rocker-looking chick. Now, she’s working in fashion and she’s secure in herself. Wow! You go, Swan.

Cindy Ingle was next. Remember her? She was the lady who had to shave and had a ‘witch’s nose’. As a “witch”, I hate it when people refer to a nasty hump nose as a “witch’s nose.” I know it’s the stereotype, but really. I don’t have a hump on my nose. It’s actually on my a@@, idiots.

Regardless, she’s modeling now and trying to get some work on television. She and her husband are like girlfriend/boyfriend again. Awww. How sweet? I guess she cast a spell on him. It’s amazing what botox and new boobs will do to a man.

Marnie, who looked like Michelle Pfeiffer even before her transformation, felt like she had a new beginning. She’s getting lots of attention. Even an audience member in the Q&A period asked her out on a date. She said she feels better largely because she treats herself better.

Kelly Becker wanted to set the record straight. On the show, it appeared as if her boyfriend, Ethan, wasn’t supportive. Ethan says, “I was just scared I wouldn’t recognize her.” Interesting defense, pal. The highschool sweethearts are now engaged.

Serena Voight couldn’t get rid of her bad Lucky (LOL — I made a punny. Her ex-husband was called Lucky). Now, they’re just friends. Hmmm? They say that in the tabloids all the time.

Amanda announces that 300,000 women applied for Season 2. Can I say “self-esteem crisis”? Jeez.

The two Kellys weren’t the only ones who got engaged. Merline Norman, the daughter of deaf parents, who had some serious dental issues, also got engaged to her boyfriend finally. She works less hours now and takes better care of herself. She has a passion for life and realizes that “therapy was the best part. It teaches you that you are in charge of your emotions.”

Dawn Goad always felt like that ‘little fat girl’. Her transformation continued. She looked even better than when her reveal happened. She also inspired her teenage son to lose 45 lbs. The whole family is eating better. I applaud her for that.

Andrea Morris actually left the jerk she was married to. She is working hard on being the best single mom she can be.

Cristina Tyree is bellydancing in public now. She’s also modeling. She is thankful that the Swan helped her ‘find Cristina.’

Tawnya Cooke was unemployed and had suffered one tragedy after another. She is now embarking on a new career — as an actress.

Rachel Love Fraser — the winner of the Swan pageant, made her husband take back the “average” comment. He romances her now. Good. She’s working hard to maintain her weight loss and a healthy lifestyle.

The ladies shared a few vignettes from life now.

Rachel’s stepson bought a bunch of People magazines of which she was on the cover and asked her to autograph them. Then, he sold them at school. Enterprising kid. Future Apprentice, perhaps?

Merline’s daughter told her she was the prettiest one at the pageant. Aww. My son tells me I’m the prettiest mommy all the time and well, I didn’t need plastic surgery to get that compliment. So there (nananabooboo!)

Cindy Ingle was almost denied access to her hubby’s military base because she didn’t look like her ID anymore. LOL.

Despite my cattiness, I really do wish these ladies the best. They went through a lot. Good luck, Swans. Now, it’s on to a new season.

—- Okay. Email me at panndyra@realityshack.com if you’ve got something to say. I dare you.


Freelance writer, webmaster of realityshack.com, chief editor at applemagazine.com, contribtor to TechLife News and maketecheasier.com, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.