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Grandma Never Wears Tight-AssClothes Like You Do

It’s fashion week, people. Victoria, the ultimate clothes horse, is in her glories. They do say that Fashion Week in NYC is like the Superbowl (at least, in some circles– not mine, though!)

Victoria’s publicist – Matt Rich – wants Victoria to take part in the festivities. She’s intrigued by the idea, but is sort of put-off by how short the dress that the designer of the Rosita & DiSarno line, which wants her to model for them, is.

The boys are also wanted by a designer — GUIDO — (I can’t make this up, folks!) Matt tells her, “Don’t let the name put you off.” They do clothes the boys would actually wear.

Heck! I thought that before he gave the disclaimer.

Victoria wants to make sure there’s extra security and her boys will be protected. Matt assures her and she says she’ll ask them, but doesn’t promise anything to him.

At home, Victoria asks John via phone. He’s like, “Nah. I’m not gay.” Victoria wants to broaden his horizons and thinks it may not be a bad idea to have the boys do this after all. Frank says no. He’s shy so I wasn’t surprised at that. Carmine was intrigued by the idea, but the wanted someone to do it with him.

The boys were no help. Victoria tells the publicist it’s a ‘no-go’. Matt Rich talks with MAURITSIO, who looks like Nole Marin, the sometime judge on America’s Next Top Model. Mauritsio is a fashion promoter and he tells Matt that the boys need to do this. Victoria promised, although we never get confirmation of that, now do we? Then, he tells Matt to fix it or the boys will be ‘blacklisted’ from fashion week, or something like that.

(OH NO! I can’t stand the drama. Help me!)

Matt’s mad that he’s left holding the bag. I hope it’s a designer bag (ha, I kill me!)

He tells Victoria that they need to do this and to think of their futures. Futures in what? Modeling — God no. That would give my children and/or siblings enough reason to NOT do this.

After a lot of wrangling and some arguing, Carmine walks down the runway. He looked good. He was able to walk without training …. WOW! He must be a natural! Where’s Miss Jay when you don’t need her!!! Okay? (Nah, I love you, Miss Jay. Anyone who can walk in heels like you do and look fierce doing it, deserves two snaps!)

Victoria says the boys are “the toast of the town”. They made an appearance at a local street fair and almost caused a riot. They love the attention, but it can be a little unnerving. Some girls ripped off their clothes as they were making their exit. One of their entourage, says, “You guys are like the %%%*($$ Beatles!”

I’m sure John Lennon and George Harrison turned over in their graves at that comparison.

The next night is Victoria’s show. The boys don’t want to go. Matt’s sending a car for Victoria at 3:30 pm and one of the boys at 4:30 pm. These boys don’t know how lucky they are. C’mon. It’s FASHION WEEK!

Victoria has to leave and she puts Jen in charge of staying on top of the boys. She made sure they got there. Gotta give her credit.

As Victoria’s being primped and fawned over before the show, she’s worrying about the dress — it’s too short. She knows the boys aren’t gonna like it.

She’s right. John tells her it was too short and tight. Victoria yells at him and says, “you’re not my father or my husband.” John points out that Uncle Pete tells grandma what to wear. And he adds a dig, “I guess it’s different because grandma never wears these tight-ass clothes like you do.”

Now, that’s a visual I could’ve done without.

—- Panndyra Out. Email me at panndyra@yahoo.com if you’ve got comments, okay? I apologize to all the models who were hurt in the writing of this review. Save our models — and our hair gel.



Freelance writer, webmaster of realityshack.com, chief editor at applemagazine.com, contribtor to TechLife News and maketecheasier.com, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.