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Barnyard Follies – Starting Over, 10/18/04

10/18/04
Towanda is tidying up the house in anticipation of her husband’s visit. She thinks he’ll be excited to see the changes in her.

Sinae is telling Sommer she thinks she (Sinae) is overweight. (Why do skinny girls always DO that to fat girls!) Sommer narrates that it always makes her wonder, when a skinny girl thinks they’re fat, what must they be thinking about her?

The women all meet in the loft, Sinae in cornrows, and Towanda is giddy at the prospect of seeing her husband. Iyanla jokingly warns the women not to attack The Man or stare at him. They talk about how they have all grown in the house and how that might affect their relationships back home. Towanda muses that it will be a shock at first, then a relief. Iyanla points out that it’s easy to say. Towanda says others might be challenged to be better when they realized how she has improved, and Iyanla applauds her. Then the women discuss boundaries, something that has been a problem for all of them in the past. Iyanla narrates they have all trained others in their lives as to how they will allow themselves to be treated. They will all have to learn new boundaries and how to enforce them – first by telling someone they have violated, then give a warning, then draw a line in the sand, then act. They need to be willing to be clear, accept feedback, and implement the boundaries.

Kim, wearing less makeup, narrates she’s excited to see the man Towanda chose to marry.

Rhonda narrates that because Sommer was so uncomfortable on the beach the day before, they will work on body issues. If they do, it’s edited out and they talk only about food and emotions. Sommer will be going grocery shopping with Marcus, the trainer. Rhonda observes that for someone who claims to be such a happy person, the food diary is full of only negative emotions. Sommer tells her this is a negative kind of place, and now she realizes she was always hiding her unhappiness before. They talk about using food to distract and cover up emotion. Sommer tells Rhonda that her father used to take her for ice cream as a show of affection, and sweets was a serious addiction in high school. Nowadays it’s salsa & chips for boredom, baked potato for stress, Doritos for depression. Rhonda urges Sommer to start feeling her feelings and this starts her to catching tears on the end of her finger to inspect them again. (What is she looking for???) Her assignment while shopping with Marcus will be to choose foods she can use to prepare a nice dinner for her housemates.

Towanda picks Andre up at the airport. He’s quite buff and knows it. He is blown away by how pretty she is and also he has missed her. On the way home she preps him for meeting the housemates. She reminds him that Sinae’s the albino and will be in cornrows. Kim is the one with the 6-carat diamond. They have all spoken on the phone, so he already has nicknames for them. Jen is Mountain High but he narrates she deosn’t like that nickname.

Sommer is working out while discussing shopping with Marcus. He shows her that she has to walk fast for 30 minutes just to burn off her favorite snacks. He advises her to eat almonds – high fat & calories but lots of protein and it’s “good” fat.

Rhonda meets with Josie. They discuss stability. Since Josie liked what she calls “the Hollywood animal place”, Today she will be going to Phil’s Animal Rental. Rhonda refuses to tell her what kind of animals are there. Rhonda wants Josie to make a plan, find out how others have gotten to where they are in animal training jobs and decide how she will earn enough money. She wants Josie to prove this path will be viable, profitable and that she will love it. Rhonda wants her to be proactive after she leaves the Starting Over House.

Towanda and Andre arrive at the house. He has given Kim the name “Hugh Hefner” and Kim narrates she’s flattered he thinks she should be a Playmate. Chloe’s nickname is “boing boing” and Towanda & Andre hold her together and dance with her.

Some of the women are nattering about Sommer’s assignment of cooking for them. Sinae wants to call out for pizza and eat it ahead of time without letting her know.

Meanwhile Sommer is working out hard. She’s very giggly with Marcus and self-conscious about jiggling. She wraps her arms around her chest. She narrates that her crush on him makes her work harder.

Josie arrives at Phil’s and it’s mostly farm animals. Phil has her work with a dog to see what she already knows, and gives her some tips, like moving your body with the dog to get him to do the trick.

Towanda is alone with Iyanla and tells her it’s been a month and 4 days since she last saw her husband. Iyanla is interested to know what he’s really like. Towanda tells Iyanla Andre is her sanity. He can always make her laugh and feel better. She says he’s also brutally honest. Iyanla observes there doesn’t seem to be a grey area but Towanda is just giddy. She grins and tells Iyanla he’s better about that that when they first met. Iyanla wants to know what attracted Towanda to him and Towanda says he’s fun, he pushes her when she can’t go on. She says the things she’s in the house for, are the things Andre wants for her. Iyanla asks if she still believes he will cheat, and Towanda says if her father could cheat, no man is immune. Since that will be a “deal breaker” for Towanda, Iyanla points out that this means Towanda expects her marriage to end. Towanda nods and says she just enjoys the good times while she can. Iyanla tells her all things begin in the mind, and where the mind goes, the behind follows. She urges Towanda to change her mind, to make another choice.

Josie is presented with a pen of hogs and she is afraid of them because of a past trampling experience. She tries to feed them but keeps dropping the food and Phil is very anxious that she might let them eat off the ground. “You’re doing everything wrong!” he exclaims at one point. Josie narrates “They’re f***ing hogs, they will eat their own poo, I don’t understand why they can’t eat crap off the ground.”

Andre is looking at Towanda’s stick person with all the positive tags on it. He is genuinely curious as she explains how she has replaced anger with passion and so on.

Sommer and Marcus are shopping and he’s teaching her what to look for on labels. When they are finished he notes they stayed around the edges of the grocery store, away from the middle aisles where all the packaged foods are. He tells her that food is 70% of any lifestyle.

Josie’s now shoveling horse manure, handling sheep and complaining she didn’t know she would be getting dirty today. She holds a lamb and calls it “a fat cow.” Phil, tells her “It’s a sheep, not a cow.” (It’s my experience that when people pretend they don’t know you’re joking, they are officially sick of you.) They sit on the fence and talk about a job. He tells her the work shift is 6AM to sundown. She tells him she needs a set schedule for day care and to allow time to mother her child, and he’s not sympathetic. He tells her some people don’t come til 7. He warns her it’s “lotsa hard work, not just sett’n around”. Later he narrates that it’s probably going to be over her head and she’ll quit.

Then we see Josie back at the house. She and Jen cook a frozen pizza in case Sommer’s meal is not good. They hurry to wash and hide all the pans and dishes so Sommer won’t know.

Sommer arrives and proceeds to cook. She makes asparagus and chicken with lemon caper sauce. She’s a little nervous wondering how it will be received.

We see Towanda and Andre cuddling on the bed. She tells him she has learned to put her own feelings first, and to forgive people -really forgive them and not just say it. Andre narrates that being in the house is helping her.

Josie meets with Rhonda to recap her day. She tells Rhonda she is used to livestock from growing up in a small town, though she hasn’t had any hands-on experience except with horses with her friend the jockey. She tells Rhonda that you learn a job like Phil’s by trial and error as you go along and that he offered her a job. Rhonda asks how much it would pay. Josie says she didn’t ask because when she heard about the hours she already decided she couldn’t do it. Rhonda narrates that Josie knows how to negotiate but did not. Rhonda narrates she doesn’t think Josie is serious so she’s putting her on notice. She tells Josie to come up with a plan and “let’s get real.”

Sommer’s dinner is ready and the women are surprised to find that they actually like the food. (So how many of them ate supper twice that night? Gross!)

Towanda and Andre dine at Maggio’s. The waiter asks if he can bring them anything else and Towanda says “No, we just wanna smooch.”

Ominous music picks up. Jen and Josie are up to no good. They clean out Towanda and Andre’s bedding, clothes, even the toilet paper. Towanda and Andre come into the house and Sinae, having a snack, warns them that she has “a feeling” something happened to their room. When Jen and Josie walk in, Towanda immediately asks them what they did to the room. Josie swears at Sinae and Towanda tries to mediate, telling them that anytime she walks into a room and sees something hilarious, she will immediately suspect Jen and Josie anyway. Josie narrates that Sinae tattles all the time, ruining their jokes to score brownie points. Towanda is trying to focus on her happiness and feels this is a tiff blown way out of proportion.

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