home Archive Open House – GUG Episode 9

Open House – GUG Episode 9

Victoria’s children need to be slapped. I’m sorry. I don’t hit my kids, but I sure as hell want to hit hers. These three are spoiled and just nasty to her. They don’t behave very well at all.

She’s trying to sell the house and under immense pressure to get the house up to a certain standard. Of course, the boys don’t want to move. They still hold onto the dream that daddy will return. The house has bad memories for Victoria and SHE’S IN CHARGE. They need to get with the program.

The boys’ rooms are terrible. Carmine’s got ants in his room from leftover food. Gross. Frankie won’t even let mama in his room. If that happened in the house I grew up, my dad would’ve killed me first and asked questions later. In fact, we didn’t have doors on our rooms. Talk about that for strange.

John’s is neater than the others, but he’s cheesed off because he doesn’t have a wide-screen tv like Frank and Carmine. He’s jealous. The kid has a nice spread. It’s much better than my first apartment was. (Probably, the home I live in now too!)

Mona tells Victoria to fix up the stank-ass pool. It smells rotten and it looks like something out of Creature from the Black Lagoon. Of course, Victoria tells Luigi to get on it. Luigi! She even refers to him as a not-so handy-man. My question is — why don’t you fire him?

I know he’s a family friend, but please. I’m Italian too (well, 1/2) and there is a limit to the amount of crap you have to take from family. He’s showing you no respect and not doing the work, Ms. Gotti. Kick him to the curb.

Especially after he donned a SPEEDO and fins to check out the leak in the pool. That was a visual I didn’t need to see so soon before bed. I’m going to have nightmares now, thanks.

Mona, the real estate agent from hell, has a ‘broker’ open house. Well, it doesn’t go very well. She wants to sell the house on its notoreity and people are complaining that it’s not as good as it should be. They expect more from a Gotti home.

Victoria, in the end, decides to stay put. I think it’s a wise decision.


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