home Archive The End Of The Road – The X-Factor, October 2nd

The End Of The Road – The X-Factor, October 2nd

by Luke

I know what you’re thinking. What could possibly be better than an update on
“The X Factor” here at Reality Shack? I’ll tell you … two updates! This week is
an all singing, all dancing double recap of the final two shows in the first round
auditions. Just to remind you, this is Simon Cowell’s new reality programme on air
in the UK where he and co-judges Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh will
compete to see who can manage the most successful artist or group. It’s coming
to the USA and Australia next year too so if you want to audition you’d
better start warming up your vocal chords.

If you’ve been reading over the last few weeks you’ll remember Louis Walsh’s
stalker, the rapper who couldn’t rap, and the Simon Cowell look-a-like who
looked absolutely nothing like him. I’d think under normal circumstances you
probably couldn’t hope for much worse amongst a bunch of wannabee singers.
This is reality TV though where almost anybody can get at least fifteen seconds
of fame so you’ll be glad to know that all the crazy people came out for the
X-Factor tapings. That’s right – they saved the best of the worst until last!

In the fourth show of the series the highlight had to be Simon taking an
unexpected shower thanks to co-judge Sharon Osbourne. She tipped two glasses
of water over his head. A thirty five year old singer called Gary had been told by
the nasty judge that he was nothing more than a tired old entertainer after he
had been given two chances to impress the judges but was just too worn out
from practising. Sharon took offence at Simon’s comments and decided to give
him a reality check – she said the second glass was for her daughter Kelly who
Simon had also insulted in the past.

It’s no surprise that Simon was in a bad mood for the rest of the show and
almost every contestant had to face his wrath as he hurled insult after insult –
the people who did scrape through only did so after the other two judges joined
forces to over-rule him. That’s what happened with wheelchair user Linda who
wanted to enter the competition on behalf of all the disabled people and in
memory of her mother. It was the same with Matt, a singer who had recently
won another UK reality show called “Popstars” but his group had failed to top the
charts. Not so lucky was group “Wired For Sound” who Simon said were
“horrendous”, the other judges agreed. I promised total fruitcakes and oddballs
you will get …. toward the end of the show we met Rowetta, a former backing
singer. She couldn’t go five words without breaking down in tears, was really
nervous, and talked so much the judges couldn’t get a chance to speak – she has
the most amazing voice though and it looks like she will be going far in the

Show five saw the last batch of auditions and towards the end of the show the
judges were shown being told who was going to manage which category of
singers. Among the last auditionee’s was Simon Cowell – no, not THE Simon
Cowell but another man with the same name. He was so bad that Simon Cowell
– yes, THE Simon Cowell told him “Simon Cowell, you are useless”. Confused
yet? I know I was. Also turning heads was the very exotic Alina. She turned up
in a very sexy tight gold outfit and even did acrobatics for the judges but while
Louis and Simon drooled, they didn’t actually put her through on account of her
awful singing. That wasn’t the case though with Lloyd, a big guy very much like
Reuben from “American Idol” and a vocal coach who had taught the likes of
Daniel Bedingfield to sing. He had the voice, but not the image but luckily it was
enough to put him through to the next stage.

There were a few surprises among the final people shown from this stage. When
three middle aged ladies came in to audition the viewers, as well as Simon and
Louis had no idea that they had a famous relative. Sharon Osbourne liked them
a lot but then she would, she had invited Ozzy’s sisters down to sing and kept
quiet until they had been denied their chance at going any further in the
competition. The other judges were stunned to learn the truth. Another person
who wasn’t quite what they first seemed was Robert, he worked at a chicken
factory called “Pick-A-Chick”. As the judges expected him to audition seriously
he burst into a version of a Bee Gee’s classic complete with a falsetto voice, then
followed it up with a rendition of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” playing both male and
female parts. A stunned Simon Cowell declared it the worst audition he had ever
heard in his life but Robert took it all in his stride and said at least he could go
back to working with chickens.

So there we have it – the end of the road for the local auditions. While the
contestants either jumped for joy or drowned their sorrows the judges were told
of their roles in the show from now on. As correctly predicted here at Reality
Shack – Sharon Osbourne has the 16-24 age group, Simon the 25+ and Louis
Walsh will manage the vocal groups. It will be upto them to hold a boot camp
where each will pick the best five from their category to progress further in the

Don’t miss “The X-Factor” show updates and episode recaps each week here at
Reality Shack and check out the shows official website at www.xfactor.tv for
video clips, competitions and the latest news.

You can contact Luke with comments or questions at luke@realityshack.com.


Freelance writer, webmaster of realityshack.com, chief editor at applemagazine.com, contribtor to TechLife News and maketecheasier.com, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.