The big surprise that the folks at The Bachelor had promised us wasn’t much of a surprise. They themselves had leaked that two women that were alumni to the show would be rejoining it. I was expecting it to be two women that would really rock that house.
But before we meet the new/old women, Andrea comes bouncing out in a tight t-shirt emblazoned with a butterfly with wings stretched wide across her chest, to find the next date envelope is for her. She is quite happy, as she has very strong emotions for Byron. Besides, her eight yards of satin are wasting away in her hope chest.
Shy Jayne decides to come out of her shell, and shows up on Byron’s doorstep. She is upset that Andrea got the date, and wonders how Byron could be attracted to both her and Andrea, as she believes they are very different. She is also upset that she hears he is quite “handsy” with the other women. The odd thing is this normally shy woman is having this conversation with Byron on his bed … laying down. This makes me wonder if she really is shy and wanting to be more open and available, or if she has been putting on an act. Since she works with animals as a dog groomer, I am betting she tends to be more on the shy side.
As Byron and Andrea are preparing for their date, he says he feels he shares a special bond with Andrea, and wants to see what makes her tick. Andrea, for her part, also knows they have a connection, and wants it confirmed that he’ll be her husband. Byron, I’ve been trying to warn you about this one, but apparently it’s falling on deaf ears.
They are taken by limo to a B-25 Bomber named, “Executive Sweet.” After donning flight suits, Byron tells Andrea as they board the plane, “If we’re soulmates, we’re goin’ down together.” I half-expected Andrea to pull a minister out of the back seat to marry them on the spot.
Back at the house, the other women decide to speak openly about their feelings for Byron. Jayne admits to feeling a connection, while Krysta is irritated at not getting a date yet. Cheresse, like Jayne, also can’t understand Byron’s attraction to Andrea, seeing that she is so different. She adds that Andrea is such a nurturing person, and is always cleaning or cooking, acting like this is her house, and Byron her man. The demented side of me will keep turning in every week hoping to see Andrea eliminated to see that bubble bursted.
Andrea and Byron have dinner in the airplane hangar. After, they sneak into the library for dessert and champagne. How much sneaking was actually done if there was dessert and champagne waiting for them? Andrea admits she feels like she’s falling in love. Oh … come … on! This has to be an act, either that, or she’s a lost Stepford Wife.
The next day, as the women are anxiously waiting to find out who the lucky woman will be to get the next date, Chris walks in and informs them Byron’s next date will be with … none of the ten women sitting there. He will be having a mystery date, and while he is gone, the women will be left with a VCR tape to watch, and get information on Byron’s mystery date.
The women speculate that the mystery woman will be someone that has already left the house, or one of Byron’s past relationships. Byron is thinking along the same lines, that the mystery guest is friend of family. He drives off in his sporty GTO and arrives at a dark, dreary place, which he says makes him feel like he’s in a horror film. He walks through a red door with a question mark, and sits down to wait.
The elevator arrives and out walks two women, not just one! They are Heather from Bachelor Two with Aaron and Mary from Bachelor Four with Bob. Byron is pleasantly surprised, as they are better looking than the friends and family he was expecting. He is also surprised to hear they are Bachelor alumni, as he has never watched the show before. I can’t for the life of me, figure why someone would go on a reality show without ever watching it themselves.
Heather is looking for a second shot at the love she missed out on with Aaron. She sees that both sides have an advantage. Her and Mary have an advantage since they have been there before, but the other girls have an advantage as well, since they already bonded with each other.
Mary says it is very scary to do this again, but admits to being attracted to Byron, and thinks he is a nice guy. When he asks why she is doing this again, she says she has a very happy life right now, but there’s one thing missing. Byron says he knows what she means; he sees kids at the dock running up to meet their dad, and wishes he had that.
The women pop the tape into the VCR, and all seem to recognize Heather and Mary right away. Krysta immediately jumps up to imitate them with a fake, “Hi! I’m a cheerleader from Texas!” and “Hi! My ovaries are drying up!” I must admit that last one was a good line for Mary.
As Byron and the two women arrive at the house together, some of the other women have decided to stay awake and greet them when they arrive. Krysta decides to live by the old adage of keeping her friends close, and her enemies closer. After they walk in, and Heather and Mary go upstairs to their room, Heather says she hopes they’ll all be mature about it, and not sit around and imitate them or something. Well … you knew it was coming. There’s Krysta, downstairs saying, “Hi!” with a Southern accent and flouncing around, pretending to hoist big breasts all over.
The next evening, before the Rose Ceremony, Byron chooses to have his Last Chance talk with Susie, Heather, and Cheresse. Susie tells him she doesn’t want him to mistake her feelings for disinterest. She’s just waiting for a date with him to show him how she really feels. Heather and Mary are discussing this new “Last Chance Talk” thing. They aren’t sure if it’s a good or bad thing. When Byron talks to Heather and reasons her to be a pro at these rose ceremonies, she says they don’t get any easier. Byron says later he thinks Heather is a beautiful woman that he doesn’t know well.
Cheresse enters and Byron wants to know where she’s been, noting they had such a strong connection early on, but he hasn’t seen her around much since. She replies that the other women just seem to find him easier, and she had thought since they had such a good time, he would have asked her out again. After their Chat, Cheresse runs straight to the bathroom, and doesn’t come out, and Krysta assumes her talk with Byron didn’t go well.
There are now twelve women present at the Rose Ceremony, and only eight roses. After saying, once again, that he is looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with, and believes the woman is there with him now, he gives the roses to Andrea, Jayne, Elizabeth, Cheresse, Tanya, Mary, Cynthia, and the final rose goes to Krysta. Being eliminated is Heather, Amanda, Kristie, and Susie. I have never realized it so strongly before, but these women look like cattle all herded up like that. They look so embarrassed when they’re not picked. I can’t imagine putting myself through that.
At this point I am beginning to wonder why we haven’t seen what ABC teased us with all week. We kept seeing a scene of Krysta skinny dipping to get Byron’s attention. Finally, we se it at the end, as if it is an outtake. Nothing much comes of it, and Byron just laughs. He must have enjoyed it since she got a rose.
The surprise wasn’t much of a surprise, and the new women didn’t exactly rock the house. I’m waiting, though, for fireworks between Mary and Andrea. The dried up ovary girl meets the girl with the eight yards of satin waiting for the wedding dress pattern. THAT is going to be good.
I welcome all questions and comments at LB53064@yahoo.com