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LCS 3 – Roast Anyone?

I am so glad that this season of Last Comic Standing is finally winding down. Even the roast, which I was looking forward to for all of five minutes, was a big let down. I felt like I did when I was 8 and found out that my dad was the Tooth Fairy, except that experience was funnier. My dad could not fill out a gold lame dress to save his life.

Jay Mohr is such an easy target. I mean, this was supposed to be easy, right?

Jeffrey Ross – you know him from such shows as ….well, you probably know him as a comic, but aren’t sure why, how or where – was the master of ceremonies. Big yawn! Triumph the Insult Comic Dog may have been the second funniest of the night. I guess a wise-cracking dog means big yuks! Yes, buy his cd. He was certainly pitching it enough. He must need the kibble.

Geoff Brown was the first ‘roaster’. The man isn’t funny. I felt that listening to his act wasted 11 minutes of MY LIFE! It was only 3. At this rate, I’ll be dead before the hours up.

Alonzo stepped up to the plate and, in my opinion, hit a homerun. I’m not saying that because I interviewed him recently. He was funny. He reminded Jay of his “Jerry Maguire” success and compared his career to Tom Cruise’s. Heck that joke must’ve wrote itself. He gets my vote because he was classy, not blue and well, his writing is just the best of the other comics. He stood head and shoulders above the competition, even Gulman…who’s tallest, did not compare.

Tess was the best I’d seen her. You, go, Tess. She used some interesting props like handcuffs, a step stool and a whip. She quipped that she had a crush on Jay because she always wanted to ‘do it with a white chick.’ Hey, Tess! I’m available for parties….but I’m not white. Oh well!

Rich Vos was nervous or something. He decided to insult the audience. Yeah, that always gets my vote.

Gary Gulman mentioned nothing about cookies, but he did talk about more and more of Jay’s hair ‘getting voted off’ each week. Poor Jay! He tried on a new wig from the soon-to-be released Donald Trump collection and well, he should stay bare. It’s best. Gary also said we haven’t seen a ‘higher forehead on network TV since the Munsters.’ Poor Herman. Why insult him prior to Halloween? It ain’t right.

Todd Glass sang a song. Well, now I know of at least two Reality TV shows he shouldn’t be on. He tried to get a boatload of insults in under the time constraint, but it was just rushed, he was flushed and he does sweat as if he were ‘doin’ a porno’ as Jay Mohr pointed out.

Jay Mohr did have a good set, but he was given lots of set-ups by the comics who went before him. Good job.

John Heffron and Dave Mordal (Yes, DAVE MORDAL!) made it to the finales, which begin next week. I only hope that Alonzo Bodden joins them.

— Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. Do you even care about what I write? If so, email me at panndyra@yahoo.com.

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