home Archive Bankin' on Love – Starting Over, 9/27/04

Bankin' on Love – Starting Over, 9/27/04


Some of the housemates are enjoying a moonlight swim. Sommer narrates that she has bonded with everyone except Towanda. then we see Towanda on the phone telling her husband about Sommer. Her husband agrees that Sommer is horrible.

Outside, Josie is telling the group she is wearing her 8th-grade bathing suit because it’s all she has. Trying to empathize, Sommer makes a joking remark about how much bigger Josie’s breasts must be than they were when she wore the suit in eighth grade. Josie is immediately offended, telling Towanda later in the bedroom that this brought back memories of her first crush telling her she was too fat in that very same swimsuit, which remark caused her to lose 80 pounds before high school. It also reminds her that since Chloe’s birth, Josie is fatter than she’d like to be. Towanda assures her that her breasts are great, saying “people would pay money to have your cousins”.

Sommer is shown talking to a friend on the phone: “so far, so good”.

The next morning Sommer comes down to breakfast and is offered pancakes and cereal. She tells Kim she needs to have a lot of protein, but doesn’t say what she will be having. Kim offers her some hot dogs.

Jennifer meets Iyanla in a park and complains about the necklace of index cards she has been wearing for the past three days. They discuss what loves looks like. In Jennifer’s experience, it looks like leaving, lying and yelling. Iyanla asks which one she does, and Jennifer says she just leaves. They talk about her ex boyfriend Jack, who is still a friend and actually has been listening to Jennifer vent on the phone about Deborah. Jennifer and Jack dated for two years but split because he lied to her about things, including phone calls from an ex girlfriend he had told her was his sister. Iyanla gives her a camera and an assignment to wander the park taking pictures of what love looks like. Wearing the necklace will be optional.

Josie meets with Dr. Stan and talks about Chloe’s father. She has described him as her best friend but he was never her boyfriend because neither wanted a commitment. When Chloe was born he pulled back because he wants to party in college “off of Daddy’s money”. The doctor tells Josie her focus on Chloe keeps her from having to think about herself, and that if she wants to date, she can make both a priority, just different. He narrates that she is romanticizing her relationship with Chloe’s father. Then Josie narrates that maybe when he is more responsible, they can all be together.

Sinae, Kim and Towanda are playing cards and talking about Sommer, when she comes into the room and begins playing with Kim’s hair while Kim studies her cards.

Back in the park, Jennifer is having a hard time finding things that look like love, because, she says, she came into it with a bad attitude.

There is a loft scene with Iyanla telling the women that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. She wants everyone to tell their first love. Josie says hers was Chloe’s father. It hurts that he doesn’t want to be involved with Chloe because, he says, he doesn’t have anything to offer. Jennifer’s first love was Scott, whom she calls her “Big Boo-Boo”. She says she knew she loved him because at age 13, she couldn’t stand to be without him and she expected that they would be together forever. Then when pressed, she says it was love at first that later turned to lust. Iyanla wants the women to share their first heartbreak. Towanda says it was Matt, who was not there for her when her parents were having problems. Sinae’s was her dad. Kim says that besides her dad, her first heartbreak was Guy, who asked her to marry him and then later she found out he’s gay. Iyanla asks how to mend that, and Sommer says by falling in love again. Towanda disagrees vociferously, and narrates that she’s only doing it to prove that she will refuse to agree with Sommer on anything. By now Sommer understands she is not wanted here. Iyanla’s lesson that the energy you spend feeling hurt can be re-directed to showing love, is not being received.

Later Sommer sits with Josie and talks about small town life. Josie narrates that she knows Sommer is just trying to make up for last night and she’d rather have an apology.

Josie and Rhonda meet outside to talk about love. Rhonda prsents her with a jar which will be her “love bank”. She is to write down on a little heart whenever whe feels someone is showing her love, and deposit it in the bank. Rhonda wants her to see herself as someone who gives and receives love. Josie decides she will also do it whenever she shows love to someone else.

Iyanla neets with Jennifer to see the pictures she has taken of things that look like love. Jennifer lapses into babytalk describing how trusting she used to be before she had the boo-boo. Iyanla gives her an assignment to think of three people and 3 things each has done to let her know they love her, then record it on cassette. Jen wonders how much longer she’ll have to wear the necklace of hurts and is told she’ll have to earn her way out of it. She says it feels like she’s being punished and Iyanla asks her to find another way to look at it.

Towanda and Kim are dissing Sommer some more. They can’t get over the married boyfriend thing and they think Sommer needs to apologize to Josie. Later Kim and Sommer are talking about Sommer’s diet and smoking, and Sommer understands Kim is reaching out to her.

Rhonda, Iyanla and Dr. Stan have a meeting to talk about the womens’ feelings toward Sommer. Dr. Stan says it will be good for them to put themselves in someone else’s place, and a chance for Sommer to learn self-acceptance is a world that does not accept the Other Woman. The plan to let Sommer know she had an impact on the womens’ fears, and that it may have seemed like she needed to show that even as a fat girl, she could take someone else’s man. (Is anyone else not feeling this? He was getting a divorce!) They call her “The perfect candidate” and then we see Sommer on the phone telling her friend she doesn’t think she’ll make it.

Later Sommer is online trying to buy Josie a new swimsuit to make up for hurting her feelings in the pool. (uh-oh.)

Josie calls Chloe’s father to ask about any health problems that may affect Chloe in the future. she tells him what Chloe’s up to and he listens politely. She asks about the health issues and he says there are none except that he has high blood pressure and he goes on about it briefly. When Josie hangs up she tells the housemates this is the first time she has called him in three months. (Hey, that’s longer than I ever held out with guys I didn’t even have a baby with!) In confessional, she says his family abandoned him and now he’s afraid to have a family who cares, that maybe he’s afraid she and Chloe would leave him too. Weeping, she says she’s confident that she could create a family with him and that he is her soul mate.


Freelance writer, webmaster of realityshack.com, chief editor at applemagazine.com, contribtor to TechLife News and maketecheasier.com, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.