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It's a Freakin' Winnebago! – The Surreal Life 3, Episode 4

by LauraBelle

In The Surreal Life 2, Tammy Faye Messner was exposed as being a sweet, motherly down-to-earth woman; none of those things being expected from her previous persona of overly done-up TV evangelist. By the end of The Surreal Life 2, we had discovered her to be a great person. Her housemates did as well when they watched her promote her book, and talked about being a survivor. Perhaps The Surreal Life 3 will do the same for Charo and Dave Coulier, as I am beginning to see them completely differently now than when I watched them on Love Boat and Full House.

As the show opens, we find Flavor Flav and Bridgette Nielsen discussing a stint Flavor Flav has done in jail. She wrongfully assumes his conviction was because of drugs. When he tells her no, she asks what could be the reason for the jail time, “murder or something?” He replies he had a bunch of tickets from having over sixty-seven driving suspensions. You would think a person would learn after having ten to twenty, but not Flavor Flav.

Charo brings in the Surreal Times, and it reveals that night Charo will be performing in Las Vegas, and the rest of the housemates will be there to watch her show. She is initially upset at the paper referring to her as “world-renowned,” as she thought it was something negative. Charo will leave first to get everything set up for her show, and the others will follow, driving themselves, and all will be spending the night. Road trip!

Charo is excited her new friends will see her perform, they don’t know how serious she can be when she performs on stage. You mean the Love Boat wasn’t serious? She drags a gigantic suitcase out, and proclaims, “I pack so many things!”

Flavor Flav reports that he wants to drive, and Bridgette’s eyes about pop out of her head, remembering his sixty-seven driving suspensions. When they walk outside to embark on their road trip, the five remaining housemates find a “freaking Winnebago!” Dave will drive the first hour, and the viking hat-wearing Flavor Flav the second. I am thinking I would run myself off the road if I looked in the RV traveling in the lane next to me, and saw Dave Coulier, Flavor Flav, Jordan Knight, Bridgette Nielsen, and Ryan Starr.

Bridgette and Jordan sleep, to no one’s surprise, while Dave is driving, and Flavor Flav announces he likes driving, as he used to be a school bus driver. Then then adds he learned to drive while stealing cars. I am wondering if that’s when he received his sixty-seven driving suspensions, and consequently paid a debt to society. As Dave’s driving hour nears an end, he is making no effort to relinquish the controls to Flavor Flav, who decides to not say anything out of respect but considers Dave to be a “driving hog.”

As the Winnebago arrives at their hotel in Las Vegas, they find it is booked up, and only one High Roller suite remains. They will need to have a gambling contest, girls vs. guys, for squatters’ rights. Each team will be given money to gamble with for one hour. Whoever has more at the end of the hour will sleep in the suite; the other team will spend the night in the Winnebago.

Bridgette and Ryan’s strategy is to let the people that look like they must be high rollers place the bets for them, thinking that’s their best chance. The men split their money among them, and Flav Flav loses his right away at the roulette table. When the hour is up and the money is counted, $52 remains for the women, and $385 for the men. Ryan and Bridgette will spend their evening in the Winnebago.

Wanting more comforts than the RV will provide, Ryan makes the hotel management an offer. She will sing and Bridgette will dance, if they are given a room for free. Management decide to take her up on it. If the management had ever seen Bridgette dance, they wouldn’t decide this way.

The men are in the one bedroom High Rollers suite trying to decide on sleeping arrangements. Dave decides immediately it will be walk-in closet time for him again. Not having boxes to stack up to keep others out has Jordan freaked. Dave asks Flavor Flav if he wants anything from Room Service, and Flavor Flavor orders “a bowl of women with ketchup.” I suppose this is supposed to be funny, but I don’t get it. Sounds like something my eleven-year-old son and his friends with their burgeoning hormones might say. Fittingly, the men begin doing Three Stooges jokes. Put any three men in a room and …

Meanwhile, Ryan is too busy gambling to think about performing later for her room and board. She isn’t even worried about missing Charo’s performance, as she’s having too much of a good time. The Three Stooges make it to Charo’s show, but Bridgette and Ryan are missing. Ryan is still gambling, and Bridgette is just too busy getting ready to notice the time. While Charo notices their absence and is upset, Dave is embarrassed and feels it is quite disrespectful.

Once they arrive, everyone is in awe during the show. Flavor Flav thinks “she’s the bomb.” Dave says the show is outstanding, and that Charo is a “virtuoso on guitar.” Jordan think her timing is “immaculate,” and Ryan is “blown away,” adding it may sound crazy, but she thought she might actually start crying. I think even Simon Cowell would have been in awe. Bridgette is just in awe of one of Charo’s backup singers, thinking he is hot. I think Love Boat possibly cheated Charo out of some credit she rightfully deserved. It makes me wonder why she waited thirty years to begin to repair her image, as she says performing is her life.

Bridgette uses the opportunity to ask after the show to be introduced to the backup singer, and finds his name to be Enrique. He and Bridgette are soon making out in the casino. Flavor Flav is shocked at her behavior, and the others are trying to decide on sleeping arrangements between the two rooms and the RV. Jordan finally decides he will only get the solitude he needs in the RV. Go ahead, Jordan, but you won’t be getting Room Service to bring you a bowl of women with ketchup in there, and besides you’re splitting up the Three Stooges.

Bridgette sneaks out to try to have a rendezvous with Enrique without the cameras. The crew bust them together behind a truck. Flavor Flav feels bad, but knows he’ll have a better day tomorrow as he gets to drive home. It remains to be seen whether Dave and Bridgette will let him, and whether Ryan will get in trouble for backing out on her deal.

Bridgette and Ryan have certainly shown their true colors, and Flavor Flav and Jordan have only continued to tow the line. But Dave and Charo continue to impress. How different would their careers have been without Full House and Love Boat? Perhaps they never would have found stardom at all; perhaps they would be more respected.

I welcome all questions and comments at LB53064@yahoo.com

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