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Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead – Starting Over, 9/22/04

2.8
Wednesday, 9/22/04

Rhonda, Iyanla and Dr. Stan meet again in the morning. Rhonda points out the Deborah hasn’t even been given her steps to success or any assignments yet. (Unless you count waiting an extra day to tell her story) They decide to give her “one more chance”

Meanwhile, she’s already packing. The other women hear her calling for a cab. Kim narrates that the other woman have decided they will not try to stop her this time. Jen goes around asking Sinae, Towanda and Kim not to stop Deborah from leaving. Kim assures her she won’t, because Deborah has tried to leave “4 or 5 times” already. Deborah calls Rhonda and tells her that if her goals are going to ruin other peoples’ lives, she will not stay. Rhonda reminds her that the reason she would be asked to leave is that she lied. Rhonda then offers her phone number in case Deborah wants support after she leaves, and Deborah thinks this is very funny. Iyanla arrives and tells Deborah she is loved and supported (uh huh) and tells her to “make another choice.” Deborah ignores her and gives her a hug.

In the loft, Iyanla points to Chloe, who is confident that everything she needs will show up, and accepts it when it does. She asks why grown-ups can’t be that trusting. Kim speaks up and says that would mean giving up control. Iyanla jokingly asks Kim why she has brought her purse to the group with her. Kim says that’s all her stuff. Iyanla asks, are you strong enough to stand on your own without your “stuff”? Then she asks everyone what their “stuff” is. Sinae says hers is false hope and bad friends. Towanda says hers is not being able to communicate, forgive or trust. Iyanla makes her do push-ups to show how heavy it is to carry pain and anger. She tells Towanda “it’s not that you don’t know what to do; it’s that you do what hurts you.” Back on the sofa, Towanda says it hurts that her father fell out of love with his wife and children. Iyanla wants to know what makes think he fell out of love with the children, and Towanda says it’s because his new life does not include them. “Perhaps it’s because you hate his wife”, Iyanla points out. Then Towanda says it’s more about the way it happened and Towanda tells her it’s none of her business because that’s her father, not her husband. Towanda wonders when it’s ok to stop trying to reach out before being allowed to give up, and Iyanla tells her that when you give something all of your positive energy, you will get exactly what you want.

Later, Rhonda reminds Sinae that they have a 5 0-clock meeting and Sinae should leave at 4:15. The she sits with Josie and discusses what might be needed for independence and a good upbringing for Chloe. They discuss Josie’s rough childhood and how she put all her hope into her grandmother, so that her life fell apart when her grandmother died. Rhonda asks her if she thinks it would be a good idea for Chloe to do the same with Josie, but I don’t see where Josie has a choice as a single parent. I don’t think Josie felt it either.

Iyanla takes Towanda people watching, which is a favorite activity for Towanda. They sit in the mall and Towanda labels people based on their clothes, hair and fingernails. They make arrangements to meet later and Towanda suddenly realizes that she is about to pay for all the dissing she has just done.

Meanwhile Josie looks defeated as she and Rhonda discuss her life. Rhonda asks if she learned to be confident and to express love, which she has not, and tells Josie that the reactions she learned during her dysfunctional childhood dictate her success now. Rhonda tells Josie she is hanging onto every morsel her grandma gave her, but it really was just a morsel. It’s hard for Josie to say anything good about herself without crying, but she is finally able to remember that she had a good work history before her grandmother died.

Jennifer and Kim are downstairs clucking over Deborah’s unmade bed and pile of hangers on the closet floor.

Towanda finds out she has to wear her homely suit again. Iyanla narrates that Towanda is judgmental and that she is about to learn a powerful lesson, that you can’t learn to forgive until you stop judging.

Rhonda takes Sinae to meet Natalie, a woman about her age who has been sight-impaired for 7 years, lives on her own and goes to college. Rhonda leaves them alone in Natalie’s apartment to talk.

Josie meets Daisy Swan, a career counselor who gives her the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test.

Natalie and Sinae go out to lunch via a van service. The driver helps them into the restaurant and they continue to talk. Sinae shares that she hasn’t learned Braille yet and Natalie tells her it’s fun to read in bed at night and just throw the book on the floor and go to sleep and not fuss with turning the light out.

Iyanla takes her to Rodeo Drive where she sits her down, has her close her eyes and describe how she feels. “Gloomy” says Towanda “Gloomy’s not a feeling” responds Iyanla So Towanda gives her “humiliated, pissed, and angry”. Iyanla: “Just like you felt….?” Towanda: “Just like I felt…” Iyanla: “When Dad….?” (Now I’m thinking of Reno 911 and the Reverand Gig LeFavre) Towanda: “When daddy humiliated me by bringing his girlfriend to the casino in front of me and someone else.” Iyanla points out that none of the strangers on Rodeo drive knows her father had an affair. She asks Towanda for more feelings and Towanda says “disagreement over what’s being said”. Iyanla possibly thinks Towanda is embarrassed to be so rude and says “I’ll take any emotion I can get out of you!” She asks Towanda to acknowledge that she is emotionally dishonest and tells her that any time she starts to feel, she talks herself out of it. After the commercial break, we hear Towanda tell Iyanla she doesn’t agree that her feelings about her father could be related to how she feels about the way she’s dressed. Then there is some weird editing, because Iyanla asks why she had to be brought to humiliation in order to express herself. She asks if Towanda now feels differently about the strangers around her, and Towanda agrees they seem to be judging her less.

Josie and Daisy are talking about school. Josie tells her she was studying pre-vet and quit because of money. They look at Josie’s Meyer-Briggs answers and Daisy tells her she probably derives energy from being around people, and that she is a “judger” (a good thing this time) who likes to know what’s coming down the `pike, make schedules, and check things off. Josie agrees. Possible career choices include communications director, writer, journalist, psychologist, personal counselor. In confessional Josie says it blows her mind to realize a person could have a job they actually like doing, since she did not see anyone like that growing up.

Sinae and Natalie let the waitress lead them out of the restaurant to the van, where they say goodbye.

Josie is on the phone with her mother to talk about a visit to the Starting Over house, and Josie’s mother announces she will be moving. Apparently this is an old discussion between them. I snuck around online and learned Josie’s mother needs to go to some sort of assisted living facility. Josie begs her mother not to go far away, since her mother has apparently talked of going to Florida. Her mom says that now that she’s seen Chloe, she will not be moving far away. Josie narrates that she wanted so badly to have her mother around as a child, and now that she’s been around for the past 6 months, she does not want to lose that.

In confessional, Jennifer says that a teeny part of her is disappointed that Deborah left because now she will not get to explore why Deborah upsets her so much. Kim is afraid she still just wants attention and that Deborah did pack her things and threaten to leave “5, 6, 7 times”.

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