Three months ago, 14 houseguests entered the Big Brother House to compete for the half-million dollar prize. Now, only two remain. Their fate lies in the hands of the seven-member jury who tonight, will vote live to crown the winner of Big Brother 5.
That’s how Julie welcomes us to the live finale of Big Brother 5. The announcer runs us through the season quickly; houseguests move in, first DNA twist discovered, the Horsemen alliance, the girl alliance, Holly’s departure, the downfall of Scott and Jase, the twin twist, the evil twins taking Will out, the twins leaving back-to-back, Marvin’s boot, Diane’s betrayal which led to Karen’s departure, Cowboy choosing Diane over his own sister, the final HoH, and Drew dumping Diane to keep Cowboy in the final two with him. At what point in that timeline did this season go from fabulous to ho-hum?
Drew and Cowboy are still holed up in the house. Julie reminds us that the jurors have only seen selected parts of what has happened in the house, such as veto ceremonies and evictions. We go now to the jury house, where the last arrival is joining them. Diane appears, and says she knows they were hoping it was Cowboy. Everyone cheers and hugs Diane, and Marvin finally lights his cigar in her honour. Diane explains that now she understands how everyone feels. She also tells them that Cowboy wasn’t involved – it was all Drew. Marvin says Diane got played like a spade, and Adria pipes up with support for Drew. Marvin doesn’t miss a beat – he’s all over Adria for sticking up for Drew: “Every time you open your damn mouth it’s somethin’ about damn Drew. What’s the deal?”
They discuss how Cowboy floated under the radar for the whole game, or as Karen put it, he crawled up into Drew’s behind and just sat there. Will thinks that was Cowboy’s whole strategy. Karen says that Drew slept through the whole game, he hid in his bed with his face in a book, and then brought someone to the end that he knew he could clobber.
Marvin asks Nakomis how it feels to get sold out by her brother. She says she expected it because they don’t talk. He doesn’t see blood like she does – for her, blood is thicker than water, and for him it’s vinegarette. They all agree that Cowboy didn’t lie to anyone, even though he did nothing strategically. They also agree that this will be a hard decision.
Time for the jury questions. Will asks Drew to tell him, using strategical reasons, why Cowboy doesn’t deserve to win the game. Drew says that Cowboy didn’t have to make as many decisions, Drew won HoH four times, and overall played a better game. Natalie asks Cowboy for three specific strategic moves to get him where he is today. Cowboy lists joining with the horsemen, winning the veto, and being himself. Adria asks Cowboy why she should give him her vote. He says he wants “to start me a dude ranch”, and give Chason the childhood that he didn’t get to have. At the mere mention of Chason, Karen begins to moan (as did I). Cowboy stumbles on saying that he’d like Adria’s vote as a friend, and that he was true to her. Karen says it was a good question, and Adria comments that she wanted more out of it though. Karen quips, “Yeah, an answer would have been nice.” Karen, I love you.
Marvin’s up next and warns them that he has hardball questions. He asks Drew about when he called Diane a ‘trailor chick’, and asks if it’s okay to use and abuse someone in the game like that. Drew denies everything and says he’s looking forward to spending time with Diane after the game. Marvin then asks Cowboy if he voted for Marvin three out of the four times he was on the block because he’s a racist liar, or a lyin’ racist. The rest of the jury is rolling their eyes and looking shocked, but Cowboy says he’s glad Marvin asked him that. He explains that he voted for Marvin because he was up against Jase, Scott, and Nakomis. Cowboy says he’s not racist, he has two black nephews, he loves every race – Chinese, Japanese – and wants to have a ‘relationship’ with Marvin after the game.
Karen tells Drew that she feels directly misled by him, and wants to know why he couldn’t tell her what was going on when she left. Drew says that he wishes he could have said something, and that everyone felt badly after she left. Way to dodge the question there, Drew.
Nakomis asks Cowboy why he never said anything to her about her putting him up on the block, even when she spoke with him before nominating him. He replies that he shouldn’t have had to tell her that it’s not okay. He thinks that’s where he went wrong, and hopefully she can forgive him. Nakomis responds by shaking her fist at him.
Diane asks Cowboy why he thinks he deserves to win the money over Drew. Cowboy: “Of course I didn’t win no HoH or nuthin’, but I tried every competition left and right except one veto that I threw.” Diane then asks Drew about his goodbye message, that it wasn’t heartfelt and she wants to know how he feels about her. Drew sounds choked up and apologizes that his message wasn’t what she wanted, but says it was from the heart. He says he can’t wait to see her after this is all over with, and hopes that she feels the same way.
The guys then get to make a final speech. Cowboy says he was himself the whole time, he’s not racist, and he apologizes to Nakomis. Drew says he thinks they should pick him because he’s played the game, taken risks, and made a decision that broke his heart.
Karen comments that Drew thinks he played the game, and Cowboy thinks he should win the game because he’s just himself. Diane points out that Drew has lied to ‘multiple of us’. Adria is disappointed that no one stepped up and said “I’m here, I want the money!”
Julie joins Drew and Michael, and asks them how they felt about the jury questions. Drew said nothing could have prepared him for how rough it was. Cowboy says that he was most surprised that the jury thinks he did nothing throughout the game. He says again that he was himself, and if he loses tonight he still got 50 G’s and they don’t. They both agree that Marvin is the one who concerns them the most, because his questions were below the belt and he has a lot of influence on the others.
The jurors are finally brought out to join Julie in the studio. It’s time for them to vote live for the winner of Big Brother 5. They each have a bag with two keys inside – one for Drew and one for Cowboy. Without revealing who their vote is for, they have to make a statement to the final two, then cast their votes by placing one of their keys in the voting box. The only people who say anything even remotely interesting are Karen (“after my emotional retardedness cleared up, I considered you guys actually did play a good game”), Marvin (“it’s not personal, you know I love both of y’all like play cousins”), and Nakomis (“y’all both did play a good game, and only one thing contributed to how I ended up voting”). Will casts the final vote, and wonders out loud if it could be the tie-breaker. He then tells them that he hopes they both use their money to make a difference.
The reveal is only moments away, but first we have to suffer through Scott, Jase, Holly, Lori, and Mike joining the jury for the Big Brother reunion. How about they just bring out Mike and Lori? That would be fun.
Julie brings the early-boots out, and Scott gets booed by the audience. Ha! They join the jury in the studio, and the fun begins. Jase gets to talk first (get it over with early maybe?), and he looks like he’s either had some swelling around his face from plastic surgery or he’s had a bad botox job. He’s also wearing eyeliner and sports the strangest eyebrows I’ve ever seen. Anyway, he says that he watched the show with Holly because they’re ‘together’, and says that he felt sorry for Marvin because he had to hang out with Will after Jase left. Marvin returns the love, and Jase says “Will, you’ll know in a second buddy”, whatever that means. I have to wonder if these people were watching the same show as we all did.
Scott then comments that he’s not sure why he’s not on speaking terms with Jase or Holly anymore. He says he loves them both and wants to become friends, but Jase doesn’t want to talk to him. Jase responds by putting his arm around Holly, and they all start talking over each other. Scott actually seems genuine, but Jase and Holly want the spotlight. Holly is asked about her feelings toward Diane. Holly says that she was genuine to Diane in the house, but Diane wasn’t. Holly told Jase that if that ceramic cat wasn’t lucky for him, to give it to the person who he didn’t want to win. Jase shouts to Diane “so you really burned that, going out third to last!” Jase is chewing his gum with his mouth open and it’s driving me mental. Holly says that she’s over all of it, and she has plenty of good girlfriends anyway.
Mike is asked what the jurors need to know about the game, and he says that Karen backstabbed everyone in the house. She takes exception to this and says she was loyal to a fault. Adria agrees with Mike though, and says that if Karen’s talking about full-out loyalty, she just doensn’t see it. Hello, Adria? Do the words pinky-swear mean anything to you?
Scott explains about the horsemen alliance, and that the Santa Monica Van Boys was a ruse to keep Marvin in as a pawn. Marvin says that he knew, and Mike chimes in “because the Don told you!” Jase quips back to Mike “were you even on the show?”
Lori is asked who she thinks told the biggest lie about her. She says that she doesn’t know if Marvin meant anything by it, but she’s not a paid actress or a very rich person, despite what he said. Marvin says that he had to say it to get her out of the house.
Finally, Mike is asked who the best player was, strategically. He says Diane, even though she screwed up the last week. Finally Julie says that she’s going to reveal the votes – after half a dozen commercials. As long as we don’t have to hear from Jase again, I’m a-okay with that.
Will the winner be Drew or Cowboy? Julie is about to reveal each vote. Remember, it takes four votes to win the game. Adria voted for Cowboy. Natalie voted for Cowboy (surprise surprise), Karen voted for Drew, Marvin voted for Drew, Diane voted for Drew, Nakomis voted for Cowboy. It’s a tie, and Will’s vote is the tie breaker. Will voted for…Drew! So Drew wins $500,000, and Cowboy watches his dream of a dude ranch sink faster than the twin twist did.
Drew and Cowboy hug each other repeatedly as Julie asks them several times to come out of the house. For some reason, Scott and Mike are there at the door to greet them. Everyone else soon joins in though, and there are hugs all around. Michael comes out with Jase’s “Starting Alliance – Join Today” sign.
To close things off, Julie tells Drew, “You won with four votes – technically that means you won by one vote.” Julie, that explanation would have been necessary if Cowboy had won, but Drew’s a smart boy. Drew says that he and Cowboy will be partying out in Oklahoma.
Drew and Cowboy’s families are brought out, and Cowboy starts to cry at the mere mention of April and Chason. More hugs, lots of shots of Cowboy and April kissing (bleh), and Julie signs off to end the season.
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