Can I ask one question? (Well, it’ll be two by the time I get to my question, right?) OOps. I’m up to three now.
What the $$%%*#$)%*()& are the folks at Last Comic Standing thinking? I have followed this show for at least a season. More than that, but I hate to admit to watching season one (even if it was on Comedy Central reruns.) The show starts with Jay Mohr plugging his website. I tell you people if you visit http://www.jaymohr.com, I won’t speak to you anymore.
His plug was shameless, tasteless and his web site sucks. Okay! I checked for all y’all. Jay is a hack. His jokes aren’t funny and the only good movie he was in was Jerry Maguire and that’s only because he couldn’t mess it up. Okay? Of course, I’m jealous of Jay and he’s jealous of the comics on the show. Why? Because his career has come to this…’straight’ man for other comics.
Next week, he puts himself into the mix because they comics who didn’t perform this week, get to roast him. (I wonder what wine you serve with this roast, or WHINE) Ha, I kill me.
Season One lost — again. Big surprise. Whoop de doo. Two comics from each side had to sweat it out again. With all the sweating going on, you’d think that one of the sponsors would be an antiperspirant, or something. Geez. Don’t they take their marketing cue from American Idol?
Sean Kent and Geoff Brown were on the chopping block for Season One. ANT (sob) and Todd Glass – were there for Season Two. ANT was very stylish in his “I MISS YOU, TAMMY” T-shirt. Awww. He really is a sweet one.
The comics performed. Ladeda. I’m getting bored with this show. I need something shiny. Of course, Jay London’s pants perked me up. He looked like a homeless disco dancer. I love Jay, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a little tired of his ‘act’. “Sorry, it’ll be over soon”…yes, it will, Jay.
He did mention that he was an ‘out of season Chia pet.’ See, more marketing gold gone to waste, NBC!
John Heffron was good. He always is. He recycled some material about hair cuts and being a kid. I liked the material — the first time. The second time it was still good like leftovers the first day…next time, it won’t be so good.
Kathleen Madigan was funnier in the war room than on stage. Her impression of Ralphie May was hysterical. I’m sorry…but when she said…”I ate Dat Phan, but I burped and was hungry a half hour later…” well…OMG! I felt like I knew her.
For season one, we had Dave Mordal. He talked a lot about being raped. You know rape is funny. NOT!
Ralphie May decided to be an equal-opportunity-pisser-offer. He insulted Native Americans, Indian Americans and well…Caucasians. Can you believe that? Actually, he was funnier than most of the performers tonight and when the act is done in the proper context (as part of his longer live act), it’s not quite as shocking.
Dat Phan was okay. He was going with what worked in Season One — being Asian and talking with a mock-Asian-American accent, pretending to be one of his parents. Haha. It was so fresh! I, well, laughed– but only once or twice.
Now, here’s the kicker. Season One and Season Two each had a celebrity comic perform with them. That comic is supposed to help them drum up votes. The comics are LOUIE ANDERSON and CARROT TOP. Can I repeat that? LOUIE ANDERSON and CARROT TOP. Damn, I felt like I was on the new millenium version of the LOVE BOAT. Where’s Charo? (on the Surreal Life, actually, but I digress!)
Someone change the channel, puh-lease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The comedian who is going to host the roast next week is Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. I can’t wait.
Oh yeah, ANT and Sean Kent were voted off this week. These were NOT my picks, but oh well. The winners from tonight will move onto the final four. The rest — well, they get to return to their ‘night’ jobs.
—Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. I can’t pretend to care. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you enjoyed tonight’s episode. I really want to study you for science.